WHERE GRIEF IS ON THE TABLE.

Byline: - Nicole Sunkes

When her father was dying, Rebecca Wesson searched for an outlet for her grief. She signed up for Jeff Zhorne's 12-week grief program - and it changed her life.

``It's really helped me to get to the root of the pain and the unresolved issues in the relationship with the person that you've lost or the animal that you've lost,'' said Wesson, a speech pathologist and hypnotist. ``It's almost like magic, even though I did the work.''

Zhorne established the Grief Program in Santa Clarita in 1993, after years of writing magazine articles on grief and loss. He craved a personal connection to the subject he was writing about.

``Instead of giving myself to masses, I wanted to give myself to one,'' he said. ``The writing was fine, but how about we do something in person? Grief is not, 'Let's go read a book or sit in a support group' - it's heart to heart.''

He says loss is not limited to death; it can be the loss of an addiction, a divorce, or even relocating. He says people have a potential for 42 loss experiences in their life.

Zhorne helps people deal with their pain by teaching them to examine the relationship with the person they are grieving. He says an important aspect of his grief program is helping people recover their trust.

``It's the feeling of reaching out for something or someone that's always been there and finding that when you reach out one more time, it's gone,'' Zhorne said. ``All loss comes down to loss of trust. Pretty soon you wind up with loss of trust in half the human race.''

When Wesson's father eventually died, she decided to sign up for the program a second time. Now she's helping Zhorne organize workshops.

She said the program has also helped her re-examine her relationship with her mother.

``The anger that I had toward her my whole life just disappeared,'' she said. ``It was almost like somebody had erased the blackboard. It was this amazing feeling, like it happened out of nowhere. I stopped having nightmares, I stopped crying, I stopped feeling the pain in my body.''

An orientation and introduction to the program begins at 7 p.m. April 5 at Lexus of 24033 Creekside Road, Valencia. For more information, call [phone], or visit www.thegriefprogram.com.

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``Grief is not, `Let's go read a book or sit in a support group' - it's heart to heart,'' says Santa Clarita grief counselor Jeff Zhorne.

Tom Mendoza/Staff Photographer