WHEN YOUR CHILD IS SICK ... AND YOU ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY HAVE TO BE AT WORK ON TIME.

Byline: Diana McKeon Charkalis Lifestyle Editor

As cold and flu season hits its peak, so, too, does the incidence of ``drop and run.''

This practice, all too familiar to school administrators and child-care providers, is when parents medicate feverish kids who ought to stay home and promptly deposit them before the effects wear off. Many schools and day-care centers have policies that restrict this, but it doesn't always work.

``Parents get really stressed out because they don't know what to do when their kids get sick,'' says Suzie Bevilacqua, whose daughter, Natalie, attends Chapparel Elementary School in Calabasas. At that school and many others, kids are supposed to be fever-free for 24 hours before returning, but ``I honestly think a lot of people fudge it and don't abide by the rules. They don't have the option to stay home with their child, so they give them Tylenol and just send them.''

No parent sets out to have his or her child infect an entire classroom with germs. But it does happen, and is often the beginning of a vicious cycle. ``It's not ill-intended on the part of parents. A lot of times, it's done out of a sense of desperation,'' says Robin McClure, the child-care expert at the Web site about.com. Ironically, she notes, ``providers say it's often the very parent who complains when their child is stricken with an ailment caused by someone else who will later turn around and bring their own child in when they shouldn't.''

This battle of ``should they stay or should they go?'' can be a murky situation, leaving parents torn between home and work responsibilities. Questions arise such as: How high should a fever be for a child to stay home? Are sneezes and sniffles reason enough to isolate him or her? And for working parents: Will I risk losing my job if I stay home with my child?

``There are many times when most parents would be inclined to let their kids stay home when they're sick, but they have the pressure of going to work,'' says Dr. Dennis Woo, chairman of the Department of Pediatric Medicine at UCLA Santa Monica Hospital. ``And policies do vary. Some schools allow kids with a cough and runny nose, others want them to be symptom-free.''

According to the National Association of Sick Child Daycare, based in Birmingham, Ala., each day in the United States, more than 350,000 children younger than 14 years of age with both parents working are too sick to attend school or child care. Working mothers are absent from their jobs from five to 29 days per year caring for ill children. This costs employers between $2 billion and $12 billion annually. It all adds up to a lot of pressure.

But experts say that, with a little knowledge and some planning, parents can make decisions they feel good about, and also help keep more kids healthy.

Bevilacqua, a social worker, understands the dilemma well. She and her husband both work full-time and have no extended family on the West Coast. ``I have friends who would help me out if I asked, but it's a touchy subject,'' she says. ``You don't want to feel like you're putting anybody out.''

Her solution when her daughter is sick is to send her to Kids Care in Northridge. This sick-child day-care service attached to Northridge Hospital offers mildly ill children a place to rest and recuperate while parents work. ``It's for everybody, parents just need to call before they come,'' says director and former nurse Bonnie Nowaczyk.

``It's a good place for kids to go when they have something that's not too serious,'' Bevilacqua says. ``It's been such a lifesaver for me. It's a great program that's helped a number of parents not have to call in sick to work.''

For parents who don't live near a sick-child care facility, the most important thing to do is plan ahead while your child is healthy, says McClure. Whether your child goes to school, a day-care center or is cared for in someone's home, it's important to have a clear understanding of the rules. ``That shouldn't be left up to interpretation.''

Once you know the parameters, it's time to come up with the best back-up plan you can, in case that little person in your life gets the flu when you have the most important meeting of your career.

McClure, who lives in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, banded together with other neighbors with kids to create a support network. ``We all help each other and we're able to take care of each other's children for short periods of time. We've really talked it through because all of us have had the need for help, and it really gives us peace of mind.''

It's also key to find out what your employer's feelings and rules are when it comes to taking time off for sick kids. ``It's imperative that everyone come to the reality that kids are going to get sick,'' McClure says. ``On a day when your child is healthy, that's the time to find out. Different companies have different options - so you need to have that conversation.''

On average, kids who go to day care get anywhere from eight to 12 colds per year, says UCLA's Woo, who adds that parents often ask him if there's something wrong with their child's immune system when he or she seems to be getting cold after cold. ``I tell them usually it's just a matter of being exposed to something new. Just because you've recently had a cold doesn't make you immune. There are thousands of different cold viruses you can get.''

That's why it's also important to instruct kids about keeping germs at bay. Lesson No. 1: soap and water. ``Teach them to wash their hands in warm water with plenty of soap for about 15 seconds,'' says Cary Barbour, health editor at Quick and Simple magazine, who adds that's about the length of time it takes to sing a chorus of ``Happy Birthday.''

Barbour, who recently ran a feature in the magazine about when it's OK to send sick kids to school, also suggests arming them with antibacterial wipes to keep desks clean as well as giving them mechanical pencils.

``That's because we found that in the classroom, the pencil sharpener is a really germy place.''

Along the way, it's also important to teach kids concern for others. One way to do so is to develop what is now known as ``cough etiquette.'' ``Teach them to cover their mouth and turn their head when coughing or sneezing,'' says Dr. Stephen Jones, medical director of emergency services at Northridge Hospital. `'It really does reduce the spread of germs.''

For parents, too, perhaps the best lesson is to follow your conscience and the golden rule. If you can help it, don't subject others to ailments you wouldn't want your own child to contract. ``Sometimes it's hard to know how sick they are and what you should do,'' says Barbour. ``Where do you draw the line? Above all, you should just trust your instincts as a parent. You know your own child best.''

Diana McKeon Charkalis, [phone]

diana.charkalis(at)dailynews.com

How sick is too sick?

Here are some suggested guidelines for parents with a sick child from Quick and Simple magazine health editor Cary Barbour, based on recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Definitely keep your child home if he or she is suffering from ...

-- A rash with a fever.

-- Uncontrolled coughing.

-- Wheezing.

-- Persistent crying and irritability.

-- Vomiting or diarrhea.

-- A fever of 101 degrees or higher.

How long should kids stay home with ...

Conjunctivitis: As long as the child's eye is red or experiencing discharge.

Chicken pox: Until all the blisters have scabbed over and are starting to dry. Usually about 10 days.

Head lice: Until the condition has been treated and the eggs have been removed.

Strep throat: Once diagnosed, keep child home for 24 hours after starting the antibiotic.

It's OK to send kids to school if their only symptom is ...

--A rash, no fever.

--A runny nose.

--Watery eyes.

--No fever, or fever less than 101 degrees.

D.M.C.

Kids Care to the rescue

For super-stressed Los Angeles-area parents with mildly ill kids, Northridge Hospital Kids Care may be the cure they're looking for.

The center, which is open weekdays from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m., offers working parents an alternative to staying at home with their kids, says director Bonnie Nowaczyk. In order to participate in the community program, which is located on the hospital campus, parents must call in to check for availability before they come.

They accept kids from 6 weeks old to 13 years, and can accommodate up to about 10 children at any given time, depending on their ages and conditions.

There is a nurse present every day, and parents must complete a care plan with the child's basic health information as well as a list of medications they take and allergies they may have.

During the day, kids may rest or play quietly. There is also a scheduled nap time. They are constantly monitored, and if anyone develops a high fever, parents are notified immediately. The cost for the program is $5 per hour, which may be paid in cash or by check.

For more information, or to check for availability, call [phone].

- D.M.C.

CAPTION(S):

4 photos, 2 boxes

Photo:

(1 -- cover -- color) Too sick for school?

(2 -- 3) Former nurse Bonnie Nowaczyk, director of Kids Care at Northridge Hospital, takes 2-year-old Amelia Lee's temperature at the center where parents can leave sick children for the day. Above left, Samantha Chan, 2, has a breathing treatment.

(4) Matthew Chan, 4, washes his hands at Kids Care, where he spent the day because he was sick. To get rid of germs, wash for as long as it takes to sing ``Happy Birthday.''

Tina Burch/Staff Photographer

Box:

(1) How sick is too sick? (see text)

(2) Kids Care to the rescue (see text)