WHAT ON 'EARTH' IS THIS?Byline: Glenn Whipp Film Critic According to according to prep. 1. As stated or indicated by; on the authority of: according to historians. 2. In keeping with: according to instructions. 3. the production notes of Chris Rock's spectacularly bad new movie, ``Down to Earth,'' Rock came up with the idea of remaking Warren Beatty's 1978 romantic comedy ``Heaven Can Wait'' after a casual lunch meeting with Beatty. Beatty must have encouraged him, undoubtedly for selfish reasons, namely this: Compared to this disaster, his own long-delayed comedy ``Town and Country'' will look like a breath of fresh-air comic genius Comic Genius is the world's first online stand-up comic contest that is open to all Canadians. It is sponsored by The Comedy Network and the CTV comedy, Corner Gas. It began on September 26, 2005 and ended on November 27, 2005. . Rock has proven that he can be a funny stand-up stand·up or stand-up adj. 1. Standing erect; upright: a standup collar. 2. Taken, done, or used while standing: a standup supper; a standup bar. comedian on his HBO Hyperbaric oxygen therapy (HBO) A form of oxygen therapy in which the patient breathes oxygen in a pressurized chamber. Mentioned in: Ozone Therapy comedy show, but his acting talents remain a work in progress. What's remarkable about ``Down to Earth'' is that Rock is not only poorly served as an actor, but he's not even funny in the stand-up spots where he's supposed to be funny. It's like he and his writing team woke up one lazy Saturday morning and gathered up a bunch of warmed-over comic riffs and then grafted them onto the plot of ``Heaven Can Wait.'' (The screenplay credit, which features Rock, Lance Crouther, Ali Le Roi, Louis CK, and Warren Beatty Henry Warren Beaty (born March 30, 1937) is an Academy Award- and Golden Globe-winning American actor, producer, screenwriter and director, known as Warren Beatty. Biography Early life and Education and Elaine May Elaine May (born Elaine Berlin on April 21, 1932 in Philadelphia) is a two-times Academy Award nominated director, screenwriter, and actress. She achieved her greatest fame, in the 1950s, from her improvisational comedy routines in partnership with Mike Nichols. , is the funniest thing about the movie.) Rock plays Lance Barton, a wanna-be stand-up comedian who is run over by a truck just as he's about to get his big show-biz break. Lance's death turns out to be a mistake; he wasn't due to enter the pearly gates for another 44 years. Lance has three options: stay in heaven, which here resembles a high-end Las Vegas lounge; return to earth in someone else's body; or go to hell, a destination shared by anyone unfortunate enough to have bought a ticket to this dud. Lance ends up taking the body of a wealthy old white man, Charles Wellington, who is despised by everyone, including a beautiful young African-American woman (Regina King) who Lance loves. This sets up what is supposed to be the movie's hilarious conflict: Lance, a black man from Harlem, lives inside a rich old white geezer's body and romances an African-American woman who sees him as an old white geezer geezer noun Medtalk American slang for an offensive and/or dull-witted old person, especially a ♂ in hospitals, geezer is a highly derogatory term for an elderly, cantankerous, often poorly-educated ♂ Pt verb even though we in the audience see Chris Rock. You follow? It's about as stupid as it sounds, and more than a little creepy, too. The movie wants to have it both ways. It wants us to laugh at Rock grooving to rap music as old fogy fo·gy also fo·gey n. pl. fo·gies also fo·geys A person of stodgy or old-fashioned habits and attitudes. [Scots fogey. Mr. Wellington (even though we usually see Rock, so it's not that funny) and then wants us to get all mushy mush·y adj. mush·i·er, mush·i·est 1. Resembling mush in consistency; soft. 2. Informal a. Excessively sentimental. See Synonyms at sentimental. b. at the idea that a beautiful young black woman would fall in love and make out with an old man. It's hard to stomach the romance between Rock and King because you can't get rid of the idea that it's not really Rock she sees, but Mr. Wellington. And that's almost as bad as watching Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones swap spit in ``Entrapment entrapment, in law, the instigation of a crime in the attempt to obtain cause for a criminal prosecution. Situations in which a government operative merely provides the occasion for the commission of a criminal act (e.g. .'' Besides being a bad idea, ``Down to Earth'' is ineptly staged by the directing team of Paul and Chris Weitz, the brothers behind ``American Pie.'' Clearly the Weitz brothers never figured out Rock, and Rock never figured out them. ``DOWN TO EARTH'' (Rated PG-13: language, sexual humor and some drug references) The stars: Chris Rock, Regina King, Eugene Levy, Chazz Palminteri. Behind the scenes: Directed by Chris and Paul Weitz. Screenplay by Rock, Lane Crouther, Ali LeRoi and Louis CK, based on the ``Heaven Can Wait'' screenplay by Warren Beatty and Elaine May from a play by Harry Segall. Released by Paramount Pictures. Running time: One hour, 27 minutes. Playing: Citywide. Our rating: One star. CAPTION(S): photo Photo: Chris Rock and his heavenly guide, Chazz Palminteri, look for answers in ``Down to Earth.'' |
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