WHAT A SUPREME DISAPPOINTMENT.

Byline: David Kronke TV Critic

In an upcoming episode of ``First Monday,'' one of Supreme Court Justice Joe Novelli's clerks grouses that he hasn't made a significant contribution inspiring his boss to make a ruling one way or the other. Novelli poetically scolds him: ``Every ruling is important - it's like tossing a stone on a pond; the ripples reach from shore to shore.''

``First Monday'' is ``The West Wing'' set in the Supreme Court and written for precocious middle-schoolers. It feels utterly inauthentic, something that ``West Wing,'' no matter how soaring its rhetoric or hokey its plot points, never does. That aforementioned stone lands here with a decisive melodramatic thud; viewers response will waft in ripples, snore to snore.

Novelli (Joe Mantegna) is a recently appointed justice to the Supreme Court, a moderate joining four rabid conservatives and four preening liberals, all utterly unapologetic in bringing their political leanings to their rulings. In the two episodes made available for review, the drama comes from guessing which way he'll vote on issues that have otherwise divided the court. (Would a U.S. president, in this agenda-crazed day and age, actually appoint a moderate whose rulings might be in question? Here's guessing not, as in not on this planet. Nonetheless, this is same exact premise of ABC's upcoming ``The Court.'')

James Garner lends his avuncular credibility to the proceedings, playing Chief Justice Brankin, a lovably conservative curmudgeon and college football fanatic who starts each session of the Court with the Justices forming a huddle, piling their hands upon one another and breaking with a rallying cry (no, seriously). This is a cue to the ``West Wing''-style stirring music and sweeping camera shot of the Justices in action in the Court, where the give-and-take between the Justices and the attorneys trying cases before them can be diverting.

Charles Durning chews a lot of scenery as Hoskins, the ``colorful'' justice, who tools around in a wheelchair, plots crotchety us-vs.-them attacks on the wimpy liberal side of the bench and relates ostensibly clever limericks to the point that you want to roll him down some stairs.

Created by Don Bellisario (``JAG''), ``First Monday'' might appeal to a certain member of CBS' core audience, one who'd be up for a dramatized episode of ``Crossfire'' combined with an earnest civics lesson. Tonight's episode deals with the death penalty in a squirrelly fashion. When the show moves to its regular Friday time slot later in the week, it deals with abortion in a squirrelly fashion. In both cases, the justices are too busy salivating over the prospect of overturning landmark decisions to actually address the legal issues at hand - thank God that Novelli has shown up to steer them right.

But in a badly estimated demographic compromise, the series also examines the go-go lives of some of the Court's clerks as they bicker, flirt or both, so of course a TV show about the Supreme Court has a scene with hot young things grinding in a nightclub. And its use of real-life pundits (on ``Curveball,'' one of those idiot news-channel shows that offers bread-and-circuses for the civilian's simple-minded edification, but you can't imagine someone inside-the-beltway like Novelli taking it seriously) adds nothing to the show's middle-brow ersatz verisimilitude.

If the show's star power can't coerce audiences into ignoring its turgid dramaturgy, ``First Monday'' will probably be overturned on appeal. Or, rather, lack of appeal.

``FIRST MONDAY''

What: Drama set in the Supreme Court.

The stars: James Garner, Joe Mantegna, Charles Durning.

Where: CBS (Channel 2).

When: 9 tonight; thereafter, 9 p.m. Fridays.

Our rating: Two stars