WHAT'S IN A LINE? JUST READ CLOSELY ...

Byline: STEVE DILBECK

Yes, it really is true, we can read between the lines ...

``This was a very difficult decision for me to make. Larry is a fine coach and he did a good job helping us build our foundation. But at this time I felt it was in the best interest of the program to make a change.'' - UCLA coach Karl Dorrell after firing defensive coordinator Larry Kerr.

Are you freaking kidding me? We were 113th in total defense! We gave up 52 points to stinking Arizona. Larry King could have done a better job.

Yankees shortstop Alex Rodriguez thinks he'll play for the Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic. Nope, he's decided not to play at all. Hold it, hold it, he would be just so proud to represent the U.S.

Which uniform do you think I look best in? Do you like me? Do you really, really like me? Tell me what I should do.

``It's very difficult to compete against us in any area ... not even in baseball do they want to compete with Cuba.'' - Fidel Castro, on the United States' reluctance to allow Cuba to enter America for the World Baseball Classic.

Just think about it. Who makes the best cigars? Who has the best sugar? Who looks best in a beret? Who has the most defections?

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin blames Katrina and TV evangelist Pat Robertson the stroke of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon on the wrath of God.

Yeah, well if He's really so upset, why doesn't He smote ``The Best Damn Sports Show Period''? Where's a nice lighting bolt when you need it?

``It may be unusual, but it seems according to the contract, they have the exclusive right to do the unusual.'' - Judge Peter Polos, to the City of Anaheim in its dispute with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

You're going to lose, so settle this thing and quit wasting taxpayers' money.

In more trial news, a judge in Cleveland sentences a fan who ran on the field during the Browns-Steelers Christmas Eve game to spend Super Bowl Sunday in jail, sans TV or radio.

Missing this year's Super Bowl is supposed to be a punishment? Seahawks-Broncos, sounds like an old weekly divisional game.

``I think it's good for the City of Los Angeles. I think it's good for the NBA as a whole, I think it's especially good for our youth, and this being MLK Day, it's good for all African-American youths out there who idolize us and look up to us to see that as being mature and putting everything behind us.'' - Kobe Bryant, after his hugfest with Shaquille O'Neal.

And you may kiss my ring Saturdays. It's my world, and you are not allowed to visit.

``I swear to you, I think it's a bigger deal to you (media) guys than it is to us.'' - Kobe, two days later.

What do you mean I can't have it both ways?

``I have thought about dropping a nuclear bomb on Sydney since Jelena lost in the first round this week, for which I blame Australia.'' -Damir Dokic, father of tennis player Jelena, after her loss in the Australian Open, which he did not want her to attend.

Right, and if she falls at the Paris Open, I'm thinking of releasing a major virus on the City of Lights. Don't ask how I can get these things. Just send all questions to my sanitarium. And don't mess with me.

``I'm trying to be a good teammate here. Let's just say we had some problems in protection. I'll give Pittsburgh credit for the blitzes and their rush. Those guys rushed. But we did have some protection problems.'' -Indianapolis quarterback Peyton Manning, after the Colts lost to the Steelers 21-18 in the AFC Divisional Playoffs.

Not that I'm ripping anybody, because I am a good teammate. But I was sacked five times, not that any of it was my fault. I wouldn't say anything bad about my teammates, but the pass protection was really weak.

``No, I didn't.'' - USC basketball coach Tim Floyd, denying he intentionally ignored rival UCLA by immediately identifying Arizona as the conference standard bearer.

Well, of course I said it. Just what am I supposed to do, deify their program? Mention their 11 national championships? Their historic dominance over USC? I want to take these guys down. I have to compete head-to-head over local recruits. Just wait until I get my new arena.

Dodgers show interest in signing former Angels catcher Bengie Molina.

Which doesn't mean new general manager Ned Colletti isn't completely in love with prospect Dioner Navarro, a Paul DePodesta guy. Not that Colletti has jettisoned any of DePo's guys. Unless you count almost half of the 25-man roster.

``I'm just another guy who had open-heart surgery.'' - Rookie forward Ronny Turiaf, after signing with the Lakers six months after his operation.

Right, happens all the time. Guys get their chests cracked open, their hearts operated on and are playing in the NBA six months later.

The Clippers can't find Latrell Sprewell.

Have they tried Sprewell Motorsports on San Gabriel Boulevard? Spinning wheels, got to go round. And a man has to feed his family.