WEB SECURITY.

Byline: Sherri Buri McDonald The Register-Guard

I n t e r n e t s a f e t y

Eugene middle-schooler Grant Wonham was looking on MySpace - one of the online social networking sites that are popular among teens and controversial among parents - when up popped the photo of an old, strange-looking guy named "Uncle Earl," asking to be his friend.

Grant said, "Who in the heck is Uncle Earl?" and his dad, Harry, rushed over to look at the screen.

Grant clicked on "deny," and "Uncle Earl" disappeared.

Grant found out at school the next day that one of his friends had concocted "Uncle Earl" as a joke.

That's the closest Grant or his sister, Emory, a high school sophomore, have ever come to a menace online. But to their parents, risks to children using the Internet are no laughing matter.

They've heard the frightening stories about sexual predators prowling through Internet chat rooms and teens' MySpace pages. And their response to the fictitious "Uncle Earl" illustrates a parent's first line of defense: Know what your kids are doing online.

"This is pretty much headquarters," says Connie Wonham, gesturing to the island in the kitchen of the family's South Eugene home. "They're not here without me or my husband snooping around."

Chasing the technology

With technology advancing so rapidly, many parents feel light years behind their kids' technological savvy.

The Web can literally bring the world to youngsters, including the dark underworlds of sexual predators, hard-core pornographers, and people advocating unsafe practices, such as drug abuse, eating disorders and self-mutilation.

"It terrifies me," says Diane Davis, a Corvallis parent who took "The Internet and Your Child" class at Lane Community College last year.

In class, a Lane County sheriff's office deputy posed as a 13-year-old girl in a chat room, and in less than five minutes, people were e-mailing her pornographic pictures, Davis says.

"These people are predators, and I think kids who don't have a strong sense of self or a strong sense of boundaries would easily get sucked into that," she says.

If monitoring kids online seems challenging now, just wait. With the advent of Apple's iPhone and other hand-held devices that combine computing with communications, it won't be long before the gadgets become more affordable, and kids can use them to access the Internet virtually anytime, anywhere.

As a parent or guardian, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by these trends, or to assume that the kids know what they're doing, or that the schools will take care of it.

But Internet safety experts say parents must get involved because, whether they want the job or not, parents are the guides who can set their children on the right course for a lifetime of safe and responsible Web surfing.

"The key thing, especially for teens as they're first getting involved in these sites, is that parents need to pay attention to what they're doing, and have some standards," said Nancy Willard, a Eugene-based Internet safety expert whose latest book, "Cyber-safe Kids, Cyber-savvy Teens: Helping Young People Learn to Use the Internet Safely and Responsibly" is due out in March.

"Parents should talk to their kids about what's acceptable, what's safe and what's appropriate on the Web," says Leslie Conery, deputy CEO of the International Society for Technology in Education, a Eugene-based nonprofit organization that provides information and training to members worldwide.

As with other aspects of parenting, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Some parents might feel comfortable laying out detailed ground rules, then setting their kids free to explore. While other parents, concerned that the rules are being broken, might install software to monitor where their kids are going on the Web, or to make the computer inoperable at certain hours, computer experts say.

"Install parental controls if you are concerned about your teen visiting inappropriate sites," advises Linda McCarthy, a California-based security expert with Symantec Corp. and author of "Own Your Space," a guide for teens on how to stay safe online. "Don't be afraid to play cop either," she says. "If you think your teen is doing something wrong, consider purchasing monitoring software."

Parents don't face this daunting challenge alone, however. The Web itself is a rich source of information (see resource list). Lane Community College and some local school districts offer introductory computer classes for parents with no computer background. LCC's continuing education program offers an occasional Saturday class "The Internet and Your Child," taught by Lane County sheriff's office detectives. The next class is scheduled for March 17.

And experts are available for hire for parents who don't have the time or technological know-how to set parental controls on computers and games, or install Web filters or monitoring software.

Electronics retailers Best Buy and Circuit City, for example, have technicians who will make house calls - for a fee - whether or not a computer was purchased at their stores.

Jonathan Arras, who is with Best Buy's Geek Squad, says he has noticed a spike in customer calls since MySpace and other social networking sites hit the Web.

"There's been a huge market for people wanting to know what's going on with their computer and their kids," he says. "They know their kids are probably going to get into something, so they want to know what they're getting into."

Microsoft's Windows XP operating system doesn't have a lot of parental controls, Arras says, so he often installs Webroot Software's Child Safe software, which can block certain Web sites and restrict the times that children are online. Microsoft's newest operating system, Windows Vista, which is scheduled for release later this month, offers more parental controls.

The main concern used to be what kids might see on the Internet. Now, with the second wave of Web content - the social networking sites, such as MySpace and Facebook - the concern is what kids might show or tell.

"In the first stage of the Internet, it took a lot of expertise to be able to post and present information," Willard says. "What social networking sites have done is make it easier to post material online. That's what makes it so scary to lots of folks."

Today, 87 percent of kids age 12 to 17, or more than 21 million youth in the United States, use the Internet, according to the Pew Internet & American Life Project, a research group based in Washington, D.C. More than half of online teens in that age range use social networking sites, and the heaviest users of the sites are older girls, the research group found.

On MySpace, a user creates a profile, usually lists a nickname, a hometown and often posts photos and messages.

"It's fun to comment on other peoples' pictures," says Emory Wonham. "And it's fast - you can just leave a comment like, 'How are you?' ''

Wonham says she uses MySpace and Facebook to keep in touch with friends in Eugene, as well as friends and relatives on the East Coast. She and her brother use the MySpace setting that shields the information on their pages from the broader public. Only friends they've accepted onto their page can view its content.

"The best I'm able to tell," Willard says, "the vast majority of young people are making good choices online. But some are not. The issues of concern include posting too much personal information, which can range from personal contact information, to intimate details about your life, to information that could damage your reputation and future opportunities."

But parents shouldn't let their fear of the Internet's power for evil prevent their children from experiencing its power for good, Willard and other experts say.

"I think we need to reduce the fear," Willard says. "The more that adults communicate fear about the Internet, the less likely it is that teens are going to come to them with concerns because the teens are going to worry that because the adult is already fearful that that adult will overreact ... make the problem worse, and blame the teen."

Instead, parents should have an ongoing dialog with their kids, asking the same types of questions about online activities as they do about other activities: Where are you going? Who's going to be there? Who are your friends?

"The key is to be talking to your kids about some of the risks involved," says Tom Lindly, technology services manager for the Springfield school district.

"It's kind of like you wouldn't cut your kid loose with a car without going through driver training, and a computer is a little bit the same," he says.

HELPFUL WEB SITES The Web offers a wealth of information for parents, including: kids.getnetwise.org Gives safety tips by age. Sponsored by Internet industry corporations and public interest organizations. safekids.com and safeteens.com Offers safety tips and advice for kids and teens, as well as sample contracts for parents and kids that set out clear expectations for Internet use. Affiliated sites include blogsafety.com, where parents can post questions and get advice from other parents, and netfamilynews.com, a nonprofit weekly electronic news service tracking trends and products. wiredkids.org and wiredsafety.org Online safety information for kids and adults, including sample Internet use contracts. microsoft.com/athome/security/children/default.mspx Microsoft site that discusses parental controls in its technology, such as family settings on Xbox gaming system and the soon-to-be released Windows Vista operating system. netsmartz.org/safety Offers educational tools, such as videos, to help teach children about Internet safety. Sponsored by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. cybertipline.com is the center's hotline to report child sexual exploitation, such as online enticement of children for sex and unsolicited obscene material sent to a child. Or call 800-843-5678.