WE'RE GOING KO KO.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

Say it ain't so, Ko ... it's open season on trade talk again?

Do you really question whether Dr. Buss tried to honor Kid Kobe's wishes and trade him this past off season but couldn't find a suitable partner?

When has Buss ever allowed himself to be rebuffed in the pursuit of a suitable partner?

Why doesn't the Laker caretaker simply have some kind of estate sale, raising money for some charity, and put Bryant on the front lawn with a giant "Best Offer" sign around his neck, before he decides there's some sentimental value there and, despite an urge to take him down to the Salvation Army for a nice tax write-off, puts him back on the mantel and hopes he can rearrange the rest of the furniture to make it all look new and exciting again?

If anyone goes, shouldn't it be Lamar Odom?

What kind of Stanford smarts does anyone need to take the 21 points offered Arizona against USC this afternoon? Don't you take into account that the Trojans are 4-3 in their last seven Pac-10 games?

So now we have the answer: If a Stanford tree makes a giant fall in the forest on the Versus network, does anybody see it?

Isn't it just wrong at this point in the college football season to see South Carolina four spots ahead of Southern California in the polls, computer or otherwise?

Was Notre Dame's first win coming a day after they exhumed the body of George Gipp really that much of a "wake up the echoes" coincidence? What other kind of crazy ideas does Charlie Weis have to guarantee an upset of Boston College today, have someone dig up the Four Horsemen?

And all that happens after the Irish victory is that it falls from No. 118 to No. 119 (and last) among Division I-A schools in total offense per game?

Who'd have thought there'd be goaltending problems already with the Kings?

If you were a member of the relay team with Marion Jones in the 2000 Sydney Games, and you've got a medal tucked away somewhere at your parents' house, and now the USOC is asking for you to return it so they can melt it down into a door hinge, how fast can you still run to your lawyer's office? Or, more logically, why would you even want a medal that was obtained because the chicks you were hanging out with cheated?

The Galaxy hasn't been eliminated from the MLS playoffs yet? So what's keeping Becks on the bench?

Why didn't Dennis Franchione hire Martha Stewart to run his secret insider tips Web site at Texas A&M? Would you bet against him securing his future with the school past this season, no matter where his W-L record falls?

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