WANTED: THE NEXT MEG.

Byline: Glenn Whipp

Film Writer

I never thought I'd say this ... but here goes.

I miss Meg Ryan.

Especially this time of year, when soggy romantic comedies starring the likes of Mandy Moore (!) remind us that since Ryan abdicated her throne with 2001's "Kate & Leopold," no actress has come along to make Valentine's Day movie-going safe again

Say what you will about Ryan's twinkly persona, but nobody this side of Doris Day had a longer run as a romantic-comedy queen. And the movies she made -- even the misfires -- were at least fun. I'd gladly catch Ryan -- playing three women, no less -- in "Joe Versus the Volcano" again before watching Sandra Bullock trot out one of her wounded lonely-hearts or enduring an endless string of Renee Zellweger scrunchy faces.

Still, somebody has to play the girl the boy meets, loses and gets back again. Here's the current scorecard, starting with Drew Barrymore, who's now trying to win our hearts -- and Hugh Grant's -- in the Valentine's Day-opening "Music and Lyrics."

DREW BARRYMORE

Movies that melted our hearts: She was great opposite an angry Adam Sandler in "The Wedding Singer" (1998) and made princesses palatable in "Ever After" (1998).

Movies that seared our retinas: She was horrible opposite a nice Adam Sandler in "50 First Dates" (2004) and played the world's least convincing journalist in "Never Been Kissed" (1999).

Signature moves: Sunny humor, good-vibrations free-spiritedness. Good crier.

Women find her: Sweet, non-threatening, immensely likable. Real.

Men find her: Kooky, nonthreatening, mildly irritating unless she's rooting for the Red Sox in "Fever Pitch," but even that was annoying because it somehow managed to emasculate both baseball and the Farrelly brothers.

Heir to the throne?: As long as she's playing to her sunny strengths, sure.

REESE WITHERSPOON

Movie that melted our hearts: Not heart-melting but she made us get that whole ring-of-fire thing with her Oscar-winning turn in "Walk the Line" (2005).

Movies that seared our retinas: She was more malicious than charming in "Sweet Home Alabama" (2002), more witless than witty in the take-the-money-and-run sequel "Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde" (2003)

Signature move: The brow-furrowing and lip-pursing preceding some kind of petulant burst of intelligence.

Women find her: Brainy, but competitive. Someone you'd want serving your ex with divorce papers but not necessarily as a girlfriend.

Men find her: Intense. Too intense. The kind of relentless, high-maintenance woman that would bust your chops for watching ESPN, even if you were simultaneously paying the bills, addressing the Christmas cards and buying her flowers over the Internet.

Heir to the throne?: Witherspoon views the romantic-comedy genre as a payday, giving her the freedom to pursue riskier roles. She's too type-A to be a sweetheart type.

JENNIFER GARNER 

Movie that melted our hearts: She was gracefully gawky in "13 Going on 30" (2004)

Movie that seared our retinas: This year's "Catch and Release" gave love a bad name.

Signature moves: Giddy girlishness and a Julia Roberts-like toothy grin, often employed to distract from the thinness of the material.

Women find her: Cute, cool, a woman who manages to balance a hard body with an easy charm.

Men find her: Spunky-sexy, athletic, someone you shouldn't challenge to a kick-boxing match even though the pain in losing might be oddly enjoyable.

Heir to the throne?: The jury is still deliberating. We'll wait and see what she can do with first-class material 7/8 provided she can attract it.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY

Movies that melted our hearts: She did Jane Austen proud in the vibrant "Pride and Prejudice" (2005), gave beanpoles a good name in "Bend It Like Beckham" (2003)

Movie that seared our retinas: There might have been one brief shining moment in "King Arthur" (2004), but we're hard pressed to remember it.

Signature moves: Radiant smile, eyes that convey intelligence, mischief, power and personality.

Women find her: Beautiful, but approachable. The fact that she can hold her own against Johnny Depp speaks volumes to her strength.

Could stand to put on a pound or two.

Men find her: She makes pirates movies! What more do you need to know?

Heir to the throne?: She'll turn 22 next month. She's got a good 20 years of choice roles ahead of her.

JENNIFER ANISTON

Movies that melted our hearts: She had more than a little flair as the love interest in the cult favorite "Office Space" (1999) and was convincing in "The Good Girl" (2002) as a married woman awaking from a long slumber.

Movies that seared our retinas: The title of "The Object of My Affection" (1998) did not translate into how people felt about Aniston after seeing the movie. Her chemistry opposite Ben Stiller ("Along Came Polly," 2004) and Vince Vaughn ("The Break-Up," 2006) did not set theaters ablaze.

Signature move: Letting the tear ducts flow like the mighty Mississippi.

Women find her: Sympathetic or simply pathetic. Sad. A little whiny, but a "Friend" forever.

Men find her: Attractive but dull.

Heir to the throne?: Back on the small screen, yes.

CAMERON DIAZ

Movies that melted our hearts: Her crassness was all sugar and sass (mixed with a few other ingredients we'll leave out) in "There's Something About Mary" (1998). She was unrecognizable as the monkey-loving girl who won Catherine Keener's heart in "Being John Malkovich" (1999)

Movies that seared our retinas: "The Sweetest Thing" (2002) left a bad taste in its lame attempt to be a girl-power "Mary." "The Holiday" (2006) simply left us cold

Signature moves: Throaty laugh, usually following a booty-shaking dance floor scene that has Diaz kicking and flailing like a funky chicken that just lost its head.

Women find her: Squealy. Strutty. Slutty. Loud.

Men find her: All of the above, but ... you know ... all is forgotten and forgiven after a little booty-shaking.

Heir to the throne?: Lately Diaz seems to be trying too hard, no matter what the genre. Sharing the screen with Kate Winslet in "The Holiday" didn't help the growing perception that she's lost her chops. Maybe getting rid of that Timberlake guy will help.

CAPTION(S):

8 photos

Photo:

(1) no caption (Meg Ryan)

Evan Agostin/Getty Images

(2 -- cover -- color) A Meg Ryan movie and the right love song add up to...

The perfect Valentine

(3) DREW BARRYMORE

(4) REESE WITHERSPOON

(5) JENNIFER GARNER

(6) KEIRA KNIGHTLEY

(7) JENNIFER ANISTON

(8) CAMERON DIAZ