WALKING TALL AMPUTEE KEEPS POSITIVE FOCUS.

Byline: Sylvia L. Oliande Staff Writer

SIMI VALLEY - After lying comatose for a month following complications from routine hernia surgery, Alan Cronin awoke in his hospital bed to an unspeakable horror.

He couldn't find the words to express, and his family members couldn't find the words to comfort him over what they all knew - that beneath the thick wrap of bandages, his hands and legs had been amputated to halt the gangrene that had spread through his body.

But in the year since the quadruple amputation, the father of three, determined to find a path to a fulfilling life, has remarried and joined a rugby team, and recently, has even taken his family skiing.

The breakthrough came, he said, when he entered physical therapy at Northridge Hospital Medical Center and roomed with man who had lost the use of his legs.

``It got to the point where I would laugh at him and he would laugh at me when we couldn't do something during therapy,'' he said.

``I know that sounds terrible, but you realize there is absolutely no reason to be bummed out about it because you know that if you do, your life is going to be that much worse.''

Now at peace with his loss, Cronin spends his days in grueling physical and occupational therapy sessions. He spends several minutes on a floor mat, struggling to put all four prosthetics on by himself. The devices haven't yet been fitted correctly, and at times cause him unbearable pain.

Once he is ready, his therapists lift him to a standing position and he is on his own. Using prosthetic hands fitted with canes that extend to the floor, Cronin can now walk more than a quarter-mile without help.

Using hooks attached to the ends of his prosthetic arms, he has learned to write, hold a telephone, turn pages in a book and brush his teeth.

``He never complains. He just bites the bullet and gets the job done,'' said Gary Quist, a physical therapist at Northridge Hospital. ``He's never felt sorry for himself or really showed a lot of grieving like people normally would. He's very strong-minded and extremely positive.''

Didn't mention it

Cronin's ordeal began a little more than a year ago, when he contracted a staph infection following routine surgery for a hernia he suffered while moving furniture at work. Cronin slipped into a coma as the infection progressed to gangrene in all his limbs - a condition that threatened his life unless doctors amputated.

Doctors gave him a 5 to 10 percent chance of survival.

He awoke after a month, and his family just didn't have the courage to tell him what had happened.

``Being that he was heavily sedated, he thought his limbs were there,'' said his wife, Maria, who was engaged to Cronin at the time of his surgery. ``None of us wanted to have the responsibility to tell him, `You don't have your legs.' ''

The doctors and nurses who tended to Cronin told him, but he said he was heavily sedated and their words seemed to be an extension of the dreams he had dreamed while comatose.

It wasn't until he reached for the glass on his bedside table and it fell to the floor that he realized something was wrong. Although he sensed his hand opening, he could not make it grasp.

``I remember looking down and not seeing my legs,'' he said. ``I never mentioned it to anybody. I knew, and I knew they knew. It almost wasn't necessary to bring it up . . . maybe because I didn't want to talk about it and face it. I felt bad enough.''

A supportive wife

Cronin refuses to talk much about the hernia surgery itself, citing a malpractice lawsuit he has filed against doctors at Family Healthcare Medical Group and Simi Valley Hospital.

Mari Zag, director of provider relations for Family Healthcare, said the group ``believes at all times that we were providing appropriate care to our patient in this case.'' She declined additional comment.

Simi Valley Hospital spokeswoman Alicia Gonzalez said she was pleased to hear of Cronin's progress but could not comment further.

Because the initial hernia was work-related, all of Cronin's medical costs are paid by worker's compensation insurance, which also pays Maria to provide care around the clock.

Maria said she never considered calling off her marriage to Cronin when she realized the extent of his medical problems.

``I could not see my life going on without him,'' she said. ``It's like I wanted to be his backbone, to be that person that is going to help him through this.

``He's disabled but I don't see that. He can't do the things that he used to do but his mind's there.''

The couple met at Medical Data Electronics in Arleta, and worked together for nearly a decade. They began dating in 1996, after Cronin was divorced from his first wife, with whom he shares custody of his daughter.

Athletic background

The couple married last August, about eight months after his ordeal.

Their blended family - Maria's daughters Jessica Ceballos, 22, and Monica Chavez, 13, and his daughter Kendra, 8 - had been living together since spring 1998.

They moved into another home in Simi Valley last fall, with a pool, wide hallways and larger rooms so Cronin can deftly maneuver his manual wheelchair.

``To this day, I think it's just a dream,'' said Maria, 41. ``I never thought it would come to this. I thought he was just going to be OK. . . . Here's a person who is so healthy, he's never been sick. To see him dying, you go into a mental block.''

Cronin, who wrestled and played soccer and tennis at North Penn High School in his native Philadelphia, recently took Maria and their daughters on a ski trip, and he has joined a rugby team for paraplegics.

Wide-open future

Although Cronin's current goal is to get back as much physical independence as he can, he also is considering activities that will stimulate his mind and keep him busy.

He's exploring new ways to channel his interest in electronics and machinery. He knows he cannot go back to working on computers because it requires dexterity he no longer has.

But that suits Cronin, who's ready to try something different. He sees few limits to his future.

``I don't think I can be a UPS driver,'' he joked, ``although I've taken a few driving lessons.''

CAPTION(S):

5 photos

Photo: (1 -- color) Quadruple amputee Alan Cronin works with physical therapist Gary Quist at Northridge Hospital Medical Center.

(2 -- color) Cronin looks at a photo of himself and daughter Kendra taken before the hernia surgery that led to the loss of his limbs.

(3 -- color) Alan Cronin skis at Big Bear earlier this month under the watchful eye of instructor Ralph Aros.

(4 -- color) Even simple, everyday tasks can pose quite a challenge. Here, Cronin's wife, Maria, helps him brush his teeth.

(5 -- color) Cronin clowns around with his daughter Kendra, 8, from a previous marriage. The blended family also includes Maria's two daughters.

Phil McCarten/Staff Photographer