Vicepresident@whitehouse.gov.May 10, 1998 To: Bibi BIBI Benthic Index of Biotic Integrity @aol.com From: vicepresident@whitehouse.gov Subj: Please come to Washington! Hey Bibi: Look, I know what Hillary said on TV the other day upset you--heck, it would certainly upset me. But I can't see how it should mean that the peace process needs to grind to a halt Verb 1. grind to a halt - be unable to move further; "The car bogged down in the sand" get stuck, mire, bog down stand still - remain in place; hold still; remain fixed or immobile; "Traffic stood still when the funeral procession passed by" . I'm sending this via e-mail for two reasons. One, because the Internet is the most powerful communications tool ever invented; and two, because I wanted to get right to you, without the middlemen, and this is the best way to do that. Look, I know that we've got this whole "thing" going on about a Palestinian state The Palestinian state (Arabic (دولة فلسطين) is a proposed country. The proposed location includes the Gaza Strip and the autonomously controlled areas of the West Bank, currently controlled by the Palestinian National , etc., etc. But please remember: that was Hillary talking, not me. And if she's so powerful, how come she keeps getting subpoenaed? (That was a little joke.) You know, Tipper said something to me the other day as she and I were preparing the spare room for you and Mrs.... well, for you and whoever you're bringing. (Remember: we don't judge!!) She said, "Al, it'd be a real shame for us if Bibi didn't come," which in Tipper-speak means she misses you! And it would be a terrifically healing gesture if American Jews American Jews, or Jewish Americans, are American citizens or resident aliens who were born into the Jewish community or who have converted to Judaism. The United States is home to one of the largest Jewish communities in the world. saw you at my house getting ready for the big peace tails. So think about it, okay, bubbelah? Al To: vicepresident@whitehouse.gov From: Bibi@aol.com Subj: RE: Please come to Washington! Mr. Vice President: It is no small matter to suggest, on a world stage, that the terrorists who have been attacking your country for 50 years be given a sovereign land from which to do it. Enjoy trying to raise money from your usual sources next fall. Bibi To: Bibi@aol.com From: vicepresident@whitehouse.gov Subj: RE: RE: Please come to Washington! Bibi: You know, we're all trying here to build a bridge to the 21st century. It takes a lot to build that bridge. It takes engineers. It takes construction guys. It takes money. C'mon, Bibi! Come to Washington! Tipper's making hummus hum·mus also hum·us or hom·mos n. A smooth thick mixture of mashed chickpeas, tahini, oil, lemon juice, and garlic, used especially as a dip for pita. and that flat bread you guys like ... Yum yum!! Al To: vicepresident@whitehouse.gov From: Bibi@aol.com cc: yarafat@aol.com Subj: Why I am not coming to Washington Sirs: To come to Washington to be told that my implacable im·plac·a·ble adj. Impossible to placate or appease: implacable foes; implacable suspicion. [Middle English, from Old French, from Latin foe should be granted a sovereign country leaves me less than excited about packing my nice suit. You may have a million discussions without me. No doubt, you already have. At least it seems that way, from the remarkable similarities of your views. Bibi To: bibi@aol.com From: vicepresident@whitehouse.gov Subj: One last time Bibi: I'm going to be totally frank with you. I know that you and I haven't always been allies. Okay, never. And I know that we sort of campaigned hard for your opponent, mostly because we thought you'd be obstructionist ob·struc·tion·ist n. One who systematically blocks or interrupts a process, especially one who attempts to impede passage of legislation by the use of delaying tactics, such as a filibuster. during the peace process, and let's be honest here, Bibi, you do have a habit of flying off the handle at the least little thing, like Hillary and her Palestinian-state comment. Listen, I come from some pretty rich ethnic stock myself, so I "know from" being highly emotional. I understand where you're coming from. But we're very close to achieving something great and lasting here. And if we could somehow do that and get a peace agreement signed, then my first term as President will be smooth sailing! Don't do this for me, my friend. Do it for the kids. For the future. Put aside your pride, be a mensch mensch or mensh n. pl. mensch·es or mensch·en Informal A person having admirable characteristics, such as fortitude and firmness of purpose: , come to Washington, we'll sit, we'll tail, we'll nosh, we'll sign some papers and do a mitzvah. Al To: vicepresident@whitehouse.gov From: Bibi@aol.com Subj: RE: One last time Sir: I'm not sure which is more insulting in·sult v. in·sult·ed, in·sult·ing, in·sults v.tr. 1. a. To treat with gross insensitivity, insolence, or contemptuous rudeness. See Synonyms at offend. b. : your desperate need to get me to Washington to shore up your Jewish constituency, or your irritating use of Yiddish. You people have gone behind my back, undermined me, publicly criticized me, and now you want me to come to Washington and play nice? I am not a schlemiel schle·miel also shle·miel n. Slang A habitual bungler; a dolt. [Yiddish shlemíl, perhaps from Hebrew . But you, sir, are a schmuck schmuck also shmuck n. Slang A clumsy or stupid person; an oaf. [Yiddish shmok, penis, fool, probably from Polish smok, serpent, tail.] Noun 1. . Bibi |
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