VIEWERS GET THE SHAFT WITH 'MINES'.Byline: David Kronke Television Critic As a trained professional, I know that pretty much no good can come from a film whose first line has a guy cackling cack·le v. cack·led, cack·ling, cack·les v.intr. 1. To make the shrill cry characteristic of a hen after laying an egg. 2. To laugh or talk in a shrill manner. v.tr. to himself: ``After all these years of searching, the skull is mine - hahahahahahahaha!'' And so it goes with ``The Librarian: Return to King Solomon's Mines King Solomon’s mines in Africa; search for legendary lost treasure of King Solomon. [Br. Lit.: King Solomon’s Mines] See : Treasure ,'' a string of hackneyed gags, plot contrivances and logical lapses masquerading as a movie. Noah Wyle reprises REPRISES. The deductions and payments out of lands, annuities, and the like, are called reprises, because they are taken back; when we speak of the clear yearly value of an estate, we say it is worth so much a year ultra reprises, besides all reprises. 2. his role as the over-educated Flynn Carson, who traverses the world seeking out antiquities, real and mythical, for safe storage at the Metropolitan Library - or, at least, as safe a storage as can be managed by a place run by Bob Newhart and Jane Curtin. When ``The Librarian: Quest for the Spear'' aired in December 2004, my review ended: ``The worst thing is, it looks to aspire to become a series of films.'' I hate it when I'm right. This time around, after being warned by Newhart that ``sometimes you have to give up what you want for the greater good'' - emotional foreboding; you know how this thing is going to end up - Flynn heads to Casablanca, in search of a map, or a maplike thing, or something, that will lead him to King Solomon's mines. There, he meets a conveniently yet inexplicably located babe, archaeologist Emma (Gabrielle Anwar), who is instantly - and not wholly unjustifiably - annoyed with him. ``I knew I was going to regret meeting you,'' she groans, one of those chestnut lines working hard to evince e·vince tr.v. e·vinced, e·vinc·ing, e·vinc·es To show or demonstrate clearly; manifest: evince distaste by grimacing. a laugh. And yet she's awfully quick to abandon her job at her dig to accompany him on a circuitous cir·cu·i·tous adj. Being or taking a roundabout, lengthy course: took a circuitous route to avoid the accident site. journey she's dubious about to begin with. Like the first ``Librarian,'' this one is sloppily plotted - would Flynn and Emma really pause to consider a smooch while being chased by killers? - lazily scripted and simultaneously convoluted and predictable. It winks at its audience incessantly, like a loutish lout·ish adj. Having the characteristics of a lout; awkward, stupid, and boorish. lout  ish·ly adv. fellow at a singles bar who thinks he's clever but is actually a
dolt.
Wyle is once again aggressively droll droll adj. droll·er, droll·est Amusingly odd or whimsically comical. n. Archaic A buffoon. [French drôle, buffoon, droll, from Old French drolle , but at least he looks like he's having fun. Too bad he's the only one. David Kronke, (818) 713-3638 david.kronke@dailynews.com THE LIBRARIAN: RETURN TO KING SOLOMON'S MINES - One and one half stars What: Noah Wyle reprises his role as a brainy if buffoonish adventurer who retrieves antiquities in order to save the world. Where: TNT TNT: see trinitrotoluene. TNT in full trinitrotoluene Pale yellow, solid organic compound made by adding nitrate (−NO2) groups to toluene. When: 8, 10 and midnight tonight; 9 p.m. Wednesday, 4 and 11:45 p.m. Saturday, 11:30 a.m. Dec. 10, 12:15 a.m. Dec. 16. In a nutshell: Indiana Jones for dummies. CAPTION(S): photo Photo: Gabrielle Anwar and Noah Wyle are on a quest for antiquities -- encountering the requisite sexual chemistry along the way -- in TNT's ``The Librarian: Return to King Solomon's Mines.'' |
|
||||||||||||||
Printer friendly
Cite/link
Email
Feedback
Reader Opinion