Untangle that tongue: how you can get the convo flowing with your crush!

Maybe you've exchanged a few smiles in the hallway. Or you notice you're the one he always borrows a pen from in English. Or maybe you've even heard a certain guy is crushing on you! Now, all you have to do is....talk to him. Argh!

Staying your usual cool, calm and collected self might not be so easy when it comes to striking up a convo with your crush. If your nerves have you stammering or your face turning redder than a box of Valentine's chocolates, it's time to get over it.

A smooth-talking tango might just seal the deal, so we have the scoop on chatting with crushes--what works, what doesn't and the lowdown on the unwritten rules. Whether you're talking online, on the phone or in person, we've covered all the bases to get your tongue untangled and back in the game. You might just score yourself a date to the Valentine's Day dance....

Digital Dial-up

E-mailing and Instant messaging can pave the way for a high-speed crush connection, without all the pressure of getting just the right words to come out of your mouth on the first try. An online chat could be the least stressful way to get to know your crush. Just be careful the entire basis of your relationship isn't high-tech. As comfy as it is sitting at your computer monitor, at some point, you're going to have to face him in the hail.

DO...

...send upbeat IM messages. Start off with a funny thing that happened to you that day or something hysterical you just saw on TV. Once a positive vibe is established, your fingers will fly trying to keep up with his messages.

...take full advantage of not being face-to-face. Unwind and be your truest self since you don't have to worry if he's noticing the zit on your forehead. You're probably donning your PJs and a mud mask, but he'll never know!

...steer clear of the editing trap. Check for major boo-boo's, but don't overdo it and rewrite your e-mail like a dozen times. This is supposed to be a fun chat, not an essay test.

DON'T...

...get careless with the send button! If you're also on IM with your BFF, beware. It's so easy to inadvertently flip to the wrong window, and you definitely don't want him to get the message for your BFF that says what a hottie he is! Should it happen, please feel free to send in your story for our embarrassing moments column.

...spam him. No one likes a mailbox full of forwarded mall. A few irresistible jokes are OK but, for the most part, stick to cool stuff like a link to the sneak-peek trailer of that movie he's dying to see or a free MP3 download from his favorite new band.

...panic if either of you has no Internet access. There are other ways to get to know each other informally. Pass him a note in study hall for an IM session the old-fashioned way.

DANGER ALERT!

Since he can't hear the tone of your voice or see your body language, make sure you're coming across as you intend. Make it obvious when you're kidding. What you say online can be easily misinterpreted. Sure, smileys help get your meaning across, but try not to overdo the cutesy factor.

A Call Waiting

Wondering how to nudge your way onto the phone frontier? Sending your crush telepathic messages to call probably won't help--and neither will staring at the phone for hours. Here's what might get your phone ringing...and keep that line busy.

DO...

...your homework! Take advantage of any way to get his number--join a class project group or start up a study session, and then exchange numbers. Sorry, getting it from the phone book doesn't count!

...let your fingers do the walking. If he offers his digits or asks for yours, consider it an invite to dial him up. Avoid the waiting game, in which both of you think the other will call first. Say something like, "Great, can't wait to hear from you," or, "Cool, I'll give you a call." Then go for it.

...figure out how much your crush likes to talk on the phone. Some guys like to gab, but many prefer to keep it short. If you call him, just tell him you wanted to say a quick "hello." Don't hold him hostage on the phone if he's giving you cues he wants to hang up.

DON'T...

...call too much. If he's not home, leaving one message is enough. He's now it" in telephone tag. It's so not cool to become a frequent phoner. You call him...then he calls you. Get it? Wait your turn, even if it takes a few days. If he never calls back, casually ask him if he got your message. If he still doesn't return your calls...take the hint. Sorry.

...call at late hours. A good rule of thumb: no calls after 9 p.m. Late-night chats won't score you any points with his parents. Plus, you run the risk of being humiliated by one of your 'rents jumping on the line past your phone curfew.

...let a convo drag on too long. Prevent the dreaded "urn's" and "er's" by jotting down a few things you can say as a last resort. Remember, though, it's way better to go with the flow and launch into a related story: "That reminds me..." If things are still lagging, just say you have to run. Short-but-sweet is better than drawn-out and ho-hum.

DANGER ALERT!

Don't forget how many people have Caller ID or *69! Calling and hanging up is not worth the risk. If you totally freeze up after you've dialed, it's better to ask to speak to a fictitious person and pretend you got a wrong number.

Up Close and Personal!

A face-to-face conversation goes hand-in-hand with a seemingly unbearable high level of temporary anxiety. But it also offers the greatest benefit. You get the most personal exchange, with the added bonus of staring at his gorgeous face. If you have a class or activity together--or even ride the same bus--seize those opps!

DO...

...smile! Smiling is oh-so attractive and eases tension. Follow up with a simple opening line. "How ya doin'?" Then comment on something (anything), or ask a question, like, "Whadya think of last night's game?" Avoid questions that can be answered with a "yes" or "no". Ask something he has to respond to.

...talk about things that interest you. And show curiosity about his interests. Even if you run into a few dead ends, you'll eventually hit on a common topic of interest. If you go to the same school, you instantly have common ground. So chat about the new math teacher or the science fair to get things rolling.

...take cues from him. If he's distracted and looking over your shoulder, his mind could be somewhere else at the moment. Try again later, or change the subject if you've been rambling. If he maintains eye contact, keep talkin'!

DON'T...

...approach him at the wrong time. When he's involved in something or concentrating intensely, he might not welcome an interruption. If you were in the middle of soccer practice, would you want to be bothered? Be honest!

...be a phony No one likes a poser, so be your true self It's great if your crush turns you on to sushi or a new band. But if you truly hate Korn, you don't belong in the front row at the concert!

...ignore your body language. It needs to be on the same page as the convo! It won't work if you sound friendly and confident, but your face is in a grimace and you're slouching. And be aware of eye contact, but don't have a staring contest. It's fine to look at him and then look away every once in a while.

DANGER ALERT!

Don't forget your manners. All the old-school rules apply. It's impolite to interrupt or to finish his sentences. And don't shift the conversation to be all about you, especially if he's a quiet guy. Instead of just launching into your next point, pause and give him a chance to contribute to the conversation.

Talking Heads 

Luckily, the more practice you get talking to guys, the more comfortable it will be. Once you're a pro at chatting it up, whether it's in person, on the phone or online, you and your crush should click into a natural convo flow. Then you can say goodbye to nervousness ... and hello to your new BF!

Gabbing with guys...gauge your style

No doubt, there's pressure when it comes to talking to guys. So...how well do you handle it? Identify your conversational style, and then find out how to get the gab going with your crush!

1. A guy you've had your eye on is headed your way with a smile. You...A) Calmly say, "Hey," and then start up a convo. B) Whisper, "What a hottie," to your friend. C) Flash a smile, and then panic. D) Don't even notice him--you're late for practice.

2. You're chatting with your crush, and there's a lull in the conversation. You...

A) Fire off a question. You've mentally filed some away for just this moment. B) Point out someone in the hall to poke fun at, just to say something. C) Cross your fingers and hope he'll save the convo. D) Say, "See ya!"

3. You've never talked to your crush on the phone, but his number is flashing on the Caller ID. You... A) Grab it after the second ring. The moment you've been waiting for is here! B) Answer it, trying to keep the giggles under control. C) Debate whether you should pick it up, because you're suddenly having a panic attack. D) Pick up. You need to ask him something about the chem homework.

4. You're on the phone with your BFF when she notices your crush has just fogged on. You... A) Thank your BFF and then get online to say "hey." B) Jump online and IM him. You're tons more comfy chatting with him this way. C) Sign on, just in case he decides to send you a message. D) Figure you'll catch him next time you're online.

5. You're dying to know if your crush is going to the Valentine's dance with someone. You... A) Mention the dance to see if he spills the beans. B) Convince your friend to ask him for you. C) Worry about it until you see him at the dance. D) Just ask him if he's going.

Mostly A's * GETTIN' TO KNOW YOU

As a chit-chatty kinda gal, your open, friendly attitude is great for smooth encounters with your crush. Talking to your crush probably comes just as easily as talking to your BFF. Confidence=cool! So what's your next step? Make sure there are tons of opportunities for you two to keep getting to know each other better. Catch him in the hall or at his locker for chats, or invite him to hang out at the mall with you and your friends. Just remember, there's no need to rush a crush by being overly aggressive or declaring your undying love.

Mostly B's * GETTIN' THE GIGGLES

You're not always shy, just guy shy Why? Could be your tendency to get a case of the sillies around your crush. The excitement can make you feel a little giddy and giggly. But it's not fun--or positive--when a guy reduces you to a neurotic puddle. If you haven t had a lot of crushes, know that feeling comfortable and staying cool around guys takes time. Build up your conversation confidence by getting to know guys as friends first--even the ones you have crushes on. You'll feel more at ease, which could help curb the giggle fits. If there is one particular guy who sends you into bubble zone, try your best to remember that he's just a regular person who wants to know the real you--not the giggle gal.

Mostly C's * GETTIN' GOOSEBUMPS

Ever dash into the girls bathroom to avoid running into your favorite cutie? Thought so. It's natural to panic when confronted by your crush, but you're also cuffing off chances to make a real connection. You're a bright, fun girl, who's full of opinions, interests and a dazzling sense of humor. Your crush needs to know that! To get rid of the pressure so you can be yourself, be realistic. Don't expect perfection every time you open your mouth because it's guaranteed there will be some awkward moments. Pause and think about what you're going to say before blurting out the first thing that pops into your head. And try to approach him in group situations to alleviate the fear factor.

Mostly D's * GETTIN' TO THE POINT

Your no-nonsense, direct approach could be a big boost with your crush--you'll spend much less time dropping hints or hiding your feelings. The good news is you'll probably find out very quickly if he's interested. The bad news is you might not be allowing either of you a fair chance because relationships take time to build. It's great that you aren't into playing games, but flirting can be fun...even necessary. Chatting on the phone or online gives you guys a chance to get to know each other. The next time you're tempted to cut a conversation short, hang around for a couple more minutes and ask him what he thought of the school play or last night's TV special. It will show him you're into what he has to say, and it might give him some extra time to work up the nerve to ask what you're up to this weekend.