U.S. Catholic takes a spirituality check.

There's a famous quotation visited so frequently in religious circles that it has the comfortable, well-worn feel of your favorite book: "Theology is faith seeking understanding." Or so said Saint Anselm. It's as if the readers of U.S. Catholic were on the same page -- or all sitting at Anselm's knee -- when the proverbial chapter was drafted on spirituality.

Curiously, there's a remarkable consistency in readers' definitions of the word spirituality, according to the responses to a U.S. Catholic reader survey. Normally one would suppose that in describing such an ineffable, intensely personal experience such as spirituality, the answers would be as varied as the hues in Joseph's multicolored coat. But no. Young and old, religious and lay, women and men define spirituality as consistently as if they were reciting the Baltimore Catechism.

Rare is the definition that fails to mention relationship or connectedness. Quite simply, spirituality is "growing in relationship with God and my brothers and sisters," says a reader from Philadelphia. Borrowing the day's vernacular, one reader puts it this way: "Spirituality is my `networking' with God."

A good percentage of readers throw that web of relationship even wider. Spirituality "is an awareness of my connection to God, earth, and others," writes Karen Fitzpatrick of Burnsville, Minnesota. Many acknowledge that spirituality is not some otherworldly, escapist pursuit but rather, in the words of one reader, an intermingling of all that is divine with "the delicious humanness" of our humble earthly existence.

"Too often we separate our spiritual life from what we call our regular life. It should be our life -- what completes us as human beings," suggests Judi Gualtiere of Amarillo, Texas.

Nearly 10 percent of U.S. Catholic readers mention that sad or difficult experiences lay behind their most profound experiences of spirituality. Mary Ann Ronan of Phoenix talks about "seeing two stars in the heavens, after my mother died, knowing she was with my dad. I checked the time and saw that it was the same time of day that she'd died."

And what of the other 90 percent of U.S. Catholic readers? What did their profound encounters with spirituality look like? Most readers say their most memorable experiences of spirituality happened while on a retreat.

"My most profound spiritual experience was when I made a 30-day retreat after 18 years in religious life," confides Sister Kathleen LaPlume of Chicago. "I had thought I knew Jesus. I discovered I knew of him and did not know him."

There were plenty of other types of religious backdrops as well -- such as an ordination, Holy Thursday Mass, and a pilgrimage to Lourdes.

Page Salazar of Gaithersburg, Maryland describes a profound experience of parish worship. "Several times during our parish Penance services, I have felt God's presence very strongly and have been moved to tears by the experience. The sad, soft hymns being played on the piano and guitar, the candlelight, the teary-eyed familiar faces -- a community humbly coming before God for peace and reconciliation. It is profoundly spiritual and profoundly Christian."

The other type of profound spiritual experience readers commonly mention reflects their attachment to home and hearth. For these people, spirituality makes its biggest impression within the context of family relationships, particularly married relationships. Not surprisingly, then, wives and husbands are tops when people point out that the individuals they turn to most for spiritual direction are family members -- ahead of pastors, spiritual directors, and even the likes of Pope John Paul II and Mother Teresa.

Sometimes it takes a churchy experience to point readers back to the holiness of home. Shelly Artus of Grifton, North Carolina says it best when she talks about participating in a Marriage Encounter weekend: "It was then that I began to understand and fully experience my marriage as sacramental. This has profoundly changed my life."

One of the most memorable of these family experiences is the birth of readers' children. Margaret Giamona of Austin, Texas, writes about "having children and sacrificing for them. This gave me an inkling as to how God, our mother Mary, and the saints feel about us."

Respondents consistently state that the biggest threat to their spiritual lives is their lack of time. "Time! I consistently struggle to give development of my spiritual life a priority," explains Lisa Hendey of Fresno, California.

Nearly 20 percent of readers refer to themselves as "undisciplined" and "lazy" when it comes to overseeing their spiritual development -- particularly in the face of so little time and so many distractions.

Greg Tomlin of Orinda, California blames his "untamed and wandering mind." An Illinois reader also would like to become more disciplined. "I let less important things take up some of the time I should spend on strengthening my prayer life."

In all, approximately 35 percent of readers say they have little or no time. Add to that another 20 percent who implicate the "worries of everyday life" that gobble up all their extra time and energy, and one realizes that time starvation could be a spiritual virus of epidemic proportions.

How do readers overcome this obstacle? In their everyday lives, people employ all kinds of practices and strategies to combat the lack of time. U.S. Catholic readers talking about their spirituality are no exception.

"Block out some spiritual-reading time `as sacred' at least once a week" was at the top of the list for Father Dick Sparks, C.S.P. of Chicago. (Notice that it wasn't the reading that was "sacred" but rather the discipline to tend to it.)

Most readers find it spiritually helpful to make time for prayer, spiritual reading, and meditation on a daily basis, and retreats and faith-sharing groups on a yearly or monthly basis.

Many further point out that their preferred spiritual practice happens in the morning -- not only to give some early meaning to an otherwise hectic day, but also, according to some, just to make sure that they do it. "When I don't do my prayer in the early morning, I tend not to squeeze it in," says Sister Kathleen LaPlume. "I need to have a set time to pray." One of the biggest favorites for the morning crowd? Morning Mass, of course.

Some of the other disciplines that U.S. Catholic readers say they regularly seek are the sacrament of Reconciliation, scripture study, Perpetual Adoration, and praying the Divine Office. Plenty of other readers, however, say that they simply make it a daily practice to seek God in everyday experiences. Then there are a handful of readers who take time management to new heights by creatively mixing their spiritual exercises with their physical ones. Larry Walker of Canoga Park, California tells of "taking 15 minutes to quietly walk and contemplate."

What about readers who, as parents, exercise their role as the first educators of their children? How do they help instill them with spirituality? The most popular answer is that parents need to provide a good example -- to "live out your spirituality." A Chicago reader reminds parents, "We have to remember at all times that we are watched, especially by children. How do we act when we are at prayer, liturgy, church, home, out in the neighborhood?" And Charlotte Wright of Midland, Texas urges, "Don't be a hypocrite, because kids can read you and will eventually despise you for it!"

If there is one practice parents should share with their kids, say readers, then it is the experience of prayer -- "Teach them to pray." And yet overwhelmingly, U.S. Catholic readers also see fit to teach their kids about the "everyday spirituality" that recognizes that holiness is all around us.

"I have four children and none of them are practicing Catholics. I think it's because we did not bring God and religion into our everyday life at home," says Barbara Parisi of New Bern, North Carolina.

Thus prepared, children should be well on their way to receiving the countless spiritual gifts enumerated by U.S. Catholic readers. Topping the list are the three P's: peace, patience, and prayerfulness -- with an additional playfulness and perspective thrown in for good measure.

Survey Response

We recently sent a questionnaire to U.S. Catholic readers and asked them about their spiritual lives: How do you foster your spirituality? What is your definition of spirituality? What are the things that help or hinder your spiritual development? Their responses follow.

I define spirituality as:

A development of a relationship with the Father, through the Son and the Holy Spirit -- through the ordinary events of everyday life. Mary Marsh McHenry, Ill.

Spirituality is a road map of assistance for daily living. It provides strength when faced with rejection, disappointment, and death, and is enhanced when encountering success, happiness, and encouragement. Father James Heier, S.V.D. Epworth, Iowa 

I honestly have no idea. I think it means trying to love God and one's neighbor, but this is simply following Christ's teachings. Why not just call it "Christianity"? H. Jon Thomas San Jose, Calif.

To know, understand, and carry out the laws that Jesus Christ laid out for us. James Steinkamp Quincy, Ill.

I feel it's a relationship -- a connectedness between God, me, others, and the earth. Ann Romano Jackson, Mich.

The biggest obstacle to improving my spiritual life is:

Time! I constantly struggle to give development of my spiritual life a priority. Lisa Hendey Fresno, Calif.

A personal need for tangible experience, when the search for God calls for faith despite frequent lack of tangible experience. Msgr. Thomas Dziecak Rock Falls, Ill.

The lack of adult-education programs in local parishes. It seems more often than not we graduate not only from high school but spiritual school at 18. That is when our journey starts, and we are left to find our own way. Judi Gualtiere Amarillo, Tex.

My desire to be in control. Laurel Van der Seugalt Newport News, Va.

Busyness -- it is so hard to be still and wait on the Lord ... to just be. I always want to be the one doing something. There are so many forces competing for my time, energy, and thoughts. Beverly Strathmann Plainfield, Ind.

I was a born skeptic and introvert; I detest maudlin emotionalism, superstition, etc. As a result, I sometimes wonder if I don't reason myself out of some intangible experience or other -- do I block my own pathway to spiritual growth? I honestly don't know the answer. Charlotte Wright Midland, Tex.

The most helpful spiritual practice in my life has been:

Recognizing that the consecrated host and wine is really Christ's body and blood! It is not a symbol of it. This makes Mass celebrations so spiritual that it is hard not to cry from joy, love, and repentance at Communion. Margaret Giamona Austin, Tex.

The observance of the daily miracles in the plant and animal life around us. Charles Schissel Amesbury, Mass.

Oddly enough, regular confession. Somehow, I'd expect that answer from a traditionalist Catholic, rather than from a progressive like myself, but I love the sacrament of Penance. God's grace is more tangible to me there than in any other context. Greg Weidman Alexandria, Va.

My yearly retreat. God is certainly found in silence. Meditative prayer brings about a powerful sense of God's loving presence. Sister Dolores Ann Therasse, V.S.C. Clairton, Pa.

Loving others through social justice. Bob Wiersberg Sterling, Va.

Grouping. I tend to be lazy when left on my own. Knowing I have to discuss my spiritual journey with others gives me the motivation to work on it. They are people with whom I can share my highs -- and lows. Patricia Kustra Phoenix, Ariz.

A time in my life when suffering led to spiritual growth was:

There have been many -- cardiac arrest in January 1997 has changed my life for good. I accept whatever! Ann Dreelin Richmond, Va.

When my 17-year-old daughter was killed by a drunk driver. Because of my spiritual life I was able to forgive the-person responsible for my daughter's death. Alberto Reyes Belle Glade, Fla.

Following an experience of sexual misconduct by a priest, which resulted in pregnancy (my son is now 19). I was forced (lest I self-destruct spiritually) to separate God from the institutional church. That was incredibly painful, but very freeing. Kay Lagreid Seattle, Wash.

Being an alcoholic and at age 29 entering A.A. and finding a new life. John Farrell Stoneham, Mass.

When my mother was dying from breast cancer several years ago, I found myself experiencing God in so many ways, in so many people. When she died my sadness was relieved so much by my faith in a loving God who had at last brought peace, comfort, and joy to my mother. Page Salazar Gaithersburg, Md.

My unhappy childhood with an abusive, anti-Catholic stepmother, and never knowing my own mother, who died when I was 3 years old. I gave so much attention to God in those days! We became a team, and the hurt would lessen with the spiritual guidance this gave me. Lorraine Keehner Eldridge, Iowa

My ethnic heritage influences my spirituality by:

Getting me to do important things (going to church) and do them well, whether or not they seem like the most fun thing to do at the time. (I'm German.) Damian Hochmuth Huntsville, Ala.

Being of Acadian (Cajun) descent, I have a deep love for family, my Catholic faith, and the land. My ancestors were expelled from Canada in the 1700s by the British because they refused to renounce their Catholic faith. This deeply touches me. Bradley Leger Estherwood, La.

I can be very Puritan and proud of it. My ancestors were English ministers who came to the colonies in the 1600s. I can be unwavering in my support of the Ten Commandments! Liz Steenbeeke Missouri City, Tex.

I grew up in Mississippi in the '50s and '60s in a small African Methodist Episcopal church. The church was the center of our community. My African American heritage helped instill in me a holistic sense of self -- that I am a spiritual person and that my spiritual life infuses my ordinary, everyday life. They are one and the same. Gretta Barnes Petersburg, Va.

The importance it places on family, religious images and artifacts in our home, devotion to Mary as Our Lady of Guadalupe, the importance of simplicity in God's presence. Joe Rodriguez Fort Worth, Tex.

The best way to instill spirituality in children is:

Example, example, example -- not by empty practices but by trying to live a life infused with charity, duty, and peacemaking. Rod Marvin Clinton, Md.

Present God as a loving Father, Jesus as Savior, brother, and friend, and the Holy Spirit as the only perfect and wholesome Spirit. Kenneth Barna South Bend, Ind.

To live it and share it with them. As a teacher of religious studies, I see that my students learn more by watching my faith than by just studying. John Switser Ocean Springs, Miss.

To provide them with a strong foundation. Maybe I'm cynical, but I think it's inevitable that most of us stray as young adults. It is a time of searching. It's so important to have that foundation to return to. Shelly Artus Grifton, N.C.

One thing I'd like to do to develop my spiritual life is:

Spend more time in silence and be comfortable with it. Michael Bik, O.S.B. Collegeville, Minn.

Love my enemies. Corinne Porter Salem, Oreg.

Attend daily Mass. Since I live in a Catholic retirement home, that is now possible -- and a great blessing. Dorothy Yeager Hopkins, Minn.

Slow down. Rosemary Mucci Westbury, N.Y.

Share my faith more with others. Jan Luebbe Cincinnati, Ohio

Make a 30-day retreat. Father Michael Santangelo Marlton, N.J.

My most profound spiritual experience has been:

Just prior to major surgery, while waiting in the hallway for transportation to the operating room, I was extremely anxious. Suddenly, I was holding the hand of my guardian angel, or God. It was so real, and my anxiety disappeared. I was able to say, "Okay, God, if this is my time to go, so be it." Eugene Grevencamp Columbus, Ohio

Easter Vigil Mass, six years ago. I accompanied my mom and felt the Holy Spirit enter my body as I watched the full-immersion Baptisms. This encounter opened the door for me to return to my Catholic/Christian faith. Peggy Griswold Stitter Creek, Calif.

The birth of my children. Marian Lindquist Storm Lake, Iowa 

Working with the poor in Jamaica. Father Ho Lung leads the Missionaries of the Poor, a religious order in the bowels of Kingston. There I saw the poorest of the poor giving thanks for all they had. They blessed America for sending us. Jane McCorkell Mt. Laurel, N.J.

My relationship with my profoundly brain-damaged son, who was run over by a truck when he was 11. I feel the presence of God, the love of blessed Mary through his life. He cannot talk, cannot do much but smile, laugh, move one hand; yet he witnesses God's love. He loves to pray with me. Name Withheld Park Forest, Ill.

A boating accident. Two friends died, and I was miraculously saved. I was in convulsions miles out to sea, with minutes to live after hours in the water. I had to ask why I survived and have been answered in many ways. Larry Walker Canoga-park, Calif.

When I was caught up in a day-long ecstasy the day after a charismatic baptism in the Spirit. Alfred Schnurbusch Salem, Oreg.

An intense feeling of closeness to God for a short period of time (two to three weeks) while a graduate student. I have never been able to achieve this same feeling, though I'm still striving and praying to get there again. John Gubser St. Louis, Mo.

A few momentary flashes of enlightenment in the course of a long life. I don't think God overdoses. We must learn to run on a lean mixture. Jane Johnson Wilmington, N.C.

Observing the sudden death of my son, at age 6, with the certainty that he was now in God's care in heaven. Owen Gallagher Sarasota, Fla.

Somewhat of a "Little Flower" experience -- the strong scent of flowers (twice) while alone in church, and there were no flowers in the church. Henry Gedwill Forest Park, Ill.

Hurricane Hugo. My parents and I experienced the wrath of God and yet his redemptive power the morning after. I was never really afraid during the storm, because I knew that God would see us through. Beth Woodard Birmingham, Ala.