U.S. CAUGHT IN THE TALE OF SCREWTAPE.

Byline: Gary M. Galles

AFTER seeing the presidential debates, the ``Oh, yeah?'' responses and counterattacks from each side in every imaginable media outlet, the bare-knuckle brawling among partisan spinners, and especially the circus we have observed since Nov. 7, I have concluded that perhaps the most accurate, though accidental, commentator on the current state of politics was writer C.S. Lewis about half a century ago.

In his book ``The Screwtape Letters,'' Lewis used the device of a series of letters of instruction from an experienced devil on how to successfully tempt humans.

In the third letter, he insightfully turned to the question of how to inflame domestic hatred between two people.

With only a few minor alterations, he seems to equally well describe our current presidential competition:

``When two political parties have campaigned against one another for many years, it usually happens that each has tones of voice and expressions of face which are almost unenduringly irritating to the other. Work on that. Bring fully into the consciousness of your partisan that particular lift of his opponent's eyebrows which he learned to dislike . . . and let him think how much he dislikes it. Let him assume that his opponent knows how annoying it is and does it to annoy - if you know your job, he will not notice the immense improbability of the assumption. And, of course, never let him suspect that he has tones and looks which similarly annoy the other side.

``In civilized politics, hatred usually expresses itself by saying things which would appear quite harmless on paper (the words are not offensive) but in such a voice, or at such a moment, that they are not far from a blow in the face. To keep this game up you . . . must see to it that each of these two fools has a sort of double standard. Your partisans must demand that all their utterances are to be taken at their face value and judged simply on the actual words, while at the same time judging all his opponent's utterances with the fullest and most oversensitive interpretation of the tone and the context and the suspected intention.

``Their opponent's partisans must be encouraged to do the same to him.

``Hence from every quarrel they can both go away convinced, or very nearly convinced, that they are quite innocent. . . . Once this habit is well established, you have the delightful situation of both sides saying things with the express purpose of offending and yet having a grievance when offense is taken.''

Lewis seems to have hit our current presidential campaign on the head. And Screwtape politics have only intensified since as Election Day. They may not reveal who will be the most worthy president, but they will at least give us insight into James Madison's famous statement in Federalist 51 that, ``If men were angels, no government would be necessary.''