Turning out for Twyla: how to survive a national audition.

An audition for Tharp! presents an opportunity for dancers to conquer a common dread.

Are you a young, energetic dancer who is blessed with "extraordinary" movement? If so, you might have been tempted to join thousands of hopefuls who auditioned for Tharp!--a show of Twyla Tharp choreography that was auditioning dancers in five major U.S. cities last winter before beginning a two-year international tour. Some dancers after reading the audition notice would have ruled themselves out because of age or training--in many cases, a logical decision. But some would have avoided trying out simply from fear. What about you?

Competition is a fact of life in dance. If the mere idea of auditioning for one more job or summer dance program makes you break out in a cold sweat, you should know that you are not alone. No dancer likes to be rejected publicly, especially if he or she is left in the dark about the reason why. Unfortunately, because feedback is rarely given in most dance auditions, it is easy to blame yourself if you get cut. Talent is only one part of being a professional dancer, however; an opportunity to perform may also come your way because of your looks, ethnicity, luck, or all of the above. How then do you keep your confidence up until the big break occurs?

Dance Magazine went behind the scenes to interview five dancers who put themselves on the line for Tharp! Following are their stories plus some basic information on the pitfalls of auditioning to help you handle the pressure of future tryouts.

THE PROCESS OF AUDITIONING

The first rule of thumb in an audition is to concentrate strictly on doing your best and gaining something from the experience. Do not expect to win. Dancers who psych themselves up for an audition by feeling "lucky" are usually setting themselves up for a fall. There are close to 20,000 professional dancers nationwide, based on recent census reports, and even more students are coming up through the ranks. Jobs, on the other hand, are a lot less plentiful. For the Tharp! tour, almost 800 dancers showed up to audition for twelve available positions. The odds of winning a spot in this dance ensemble were therefore depressingly low.

One dancer who decided to audition anyway was Claudia Zairos, a twenty-six-year-old professional from Long Island. Her strategy at auditions is to pretend that she is performing onstage rather than trying to convince herself and others that she is right for the position. "Some people say it helps if you think you're great and you're gonna get the part," she says. "But then if you do end up being rejected, it hurts more because it reflects on your dancing." To get up her nerve before a tryout, she listens to friends who "tell me that I really come out when I perform."

The other dancers who were interviewed also used a constructive approach to the audition process by regarding it as a valuable dance experience, a free class, or a chance to work with a famous choreographer. Still, there were times for all of them when self-doubt was only a heartbeat away. According to Zairos, "The whole rejection process can really beat a dancer down. At the end of the day, you wonder what you did wrong." This is one of many problems that can make competing difficult.

COMMON PROBLEMS

Auditioning for a dance position is challenging. For this reason, it helps if you are mentally prepared for the experience. Unfortunately, many dancers are caught off guard at some point, because they have been trained to ignore psychological distress. Yet the fact is that it is normal to feel anxious--not stoic--when performing in front of others. A case of the jitters also adds immensely to the excitement of a live performance and keeps it from being "flat." The trick, of course, is to have the right amount of anxiety.

Ivan Torres, a former student at the School of American Ballet, tries to control his fears when they arise by pushing them away. However, his body often seems to have a mind of its own: "I get a stomachache and a headache. I start twitching in my fingers, and I bite my nails."

Other signs of performance anxiety include heart palpitations, depersonalization (feeling outside of yourself), and hyperventilation. While many of the dancers in our interview, including Torres, resorted to deep breathing in an effort to calm down, these symptoms can be reduced before they escalate by using such techniques as yoga, tai chi chuan (the ancient Chinese exercise), self-hypnosis, progressive muscle relaxation, and certain aspects of the Feldenkrais and Alexander techniques. Remember, anxiety is not bad as long as you have the optimal amount. Try not to get too relaxed!

A different kind of mental stress occurs for dancers who are perfectionists. Besides setting unobtainable goals in an audition, this group may also distort reality by interpreting the behavior of others in a negative light. Common cognitive distortions include: equating one mistake with total failure ("all-or-nothing" thinking); assuming the worst without sufficient evidence (the choreographer must hate your dancing because she looked at her watch); magnifying the importance of errors while downplaying your personal assets; and believing that just because you feel bad about yourself today, you must actually be no good. If you are being excessively self-critical, stop--try to be objective.

Similarly, you are probably not being fair to yourself if you constantly compare your dancing to that of others--a habit that arises from insecurity. After attending ten auditions this year, Desiree Duarte, a twenty-four-year-old dancer from California, has discovered that comparisons can be deceiving. As a result, she avoids "looking around and scoping people out. You know, some person could look like a complete diva dancer and she maybe has two left feet. I just try not to get into that. I bring a book, or I just focus inward on my body and what I'm doing."

Another dancer who believes that she is "a goner" if she pays attention to the competition is Dawn Ann Bryant, whose ultimate goal is to choreograph. When she forgets to focus on her creative strengths, her negative thoughts come down to body type. "You look at people who are taller, who have longer legs, longer extensions," she says. "You start to think, My legs aren't that long. My extension isn't that high." Dawn is aware that this kind of thinking is destructive. Instead, keep your attention on what you can do.

The last mistake that can get dancers into trouble about competition involves procrastination. If auditions tend to make you highly anxious and self-critical, you may feel a strong pull to put off attending one. Instead of looking for excuses not to try out, look for reasons to do so. Mental preparation can help, as long as you are being honest about your strengths and weaknesses. For example, if you are a talented dancer but a lousy singer, it is self-defeating to keep auditioning for leading roles in musical theater where vocal skills are required. Likewise, a good ballet dancer with weak pointework needs to correct this technical deficiency to excel. The point is to maximize your potential rather than trying to make yourself into someone else.

BOUNCING BACK FROM REJECTION

So far, you deserve an E for effort by showing up for an important audition. However, your ability to persevere in dance will also depend on how you handle rejection. While this part of auditioning is never easy for any dancer, you can make it less painful by following several guidelines. First, set a reachable goal for yourself in an audition, such as trying to do your best. In this way, you will be more likely to achieve some level of satisfaction even if you do not get the job.

Next, surround yourself with people who believe in you as a person and as a dancer. This form of social support will help you retain your confidence through the good times and the bad. Martin Lofsnes, a twenty-six-year-old modern dancer with a major company, tries to protect himself after a rejection: "If it's something I really want, it's important to have a security net set up afterward. I do something nice, like go out with friends. And remember what I do have. Like everything else in life, when you get disappointed you have to look at what you've got and where you're going. Go with the positive things and don't focus on the negative."

In a similar vein, it helps to have outside activities that reinforce your self-worth (such as getting good grades in school), or enjoyable work outside of performing. Claudia Zairos, our dancer from Long Island, tells us that being a dance teacher helps her cope with the uncertainty of auditions: "That's one thing that actually keeps me happy. I don't need to wait on tables or do any kind of outside work that's not associated with dance, so I can say I'm successful in the field. I'm not at the mercy of all these auditions [in order to find] happiness."

Remember, surviving a national audition means keeping things in perspective. Someone is bound to get the part. However, one person's gain does not have to become a symbol of your loss--unless you allow it to be. According to Dawn Ann Bryant, who attended more auditions than anyone else among our interviewees, "Being in dance is what I'm supposed to do. I've known it since I was young, so I don't worry about any one audition. Something else will come up." When in doubt, remind yourself of the reasons you love to dance.