Trying times: loss is a normal part of life. Yes, even yours.

The last two years have been really tough for Katie. First the 14-year-old freshman from Millbrook, N.Y., endured the death of her grandmother. Then her beloved dog Sadie passed away. Finally, her parents separated. Although all three events contributed to Katie's sense of loss, the breakup upset her most. "Even though my parents have been split for a year [now], I am still trying to figure out how to deal with my feelings," she told Current Health.

Katie's feelings can be summed up in one word: grief. Many people think of grief as deep sadness, but psychologists use the word to describe the process of coming to terms with a loss of any kind. Teens often grieve over the end of an important relationship, such as a breakup with a steady girlfriend or boyfriend. When parents separate, a good friend moves away or a new best bud, or high school graduation arrives--grief can strike. "Teens have less life experience, so grief is a lot more intense for them," said Lois Nightingale. She is a clinical psychologist and the director of the Nightingale Center for Integrative Medicine in Yorba Linda, Calif., which treats people who are feeling anxious or depressed. "They can feel as if the ground is moving out from under their feet."

No Big Deal?

If you're like many teens, you may try to shrug off all the changes that are happening around you. That's life, right? Not necessarily, experts say. "The teenage years are filled with grief," said Tom Golden, a psychotherapist and television commentator who specializes in grief and healing. "Everything is changing so fast, and loss is everywhere. You're grieving not being a cute little kid anymore," said Golden.

Lindsay, 14, lives in Delaware, Ohio. She broke up with her boyfriend four months ago. "I had this weird feeling inside, like I felt hollow. It lasted for a while, and every once in a while I get it back," Lindsay said. Her mother recently returned to a full-time job, so Lindsay sees her less often than she did previously. "I have grown up with my morn around all the time, and now she is not there anymore," she said. "It just all-around [stinks]."

Part of the grieving process is enduring a range of confusing, and sometimes conflicting, emotions. Many people are familiar with the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But there is no "right" way to come to grips with loss. A grieving teen may experience some of the stages described above. In Katie's case, that meant feeling "angry and sad at the same time." However, there is no set pattern that all grieving people follow. "Everyone grieves differently," Golden emphasized. "There is no cookie-cutter way to be."

Down in the Dumps

Grief can make you feel bad, even for an extended period of time. But can it cause more serious harm?

Absolutely. Some of the outward signs of grieving can also be signs of clinical depression, a serious medical condition. "There is no timetable for resolving the various expressions of grief," said Jennifer Palmer, a counselor with the Teen Health Centre in Windsor, Ontario. "However, what we need to watch for are signs and symptoms that may indicate a need for more vigilance and more intervention."

If you or someone you know is suffering from a loss, pay attention to any sudden changes in behavior and patterns of thought. These can be indications that you, or your friend, should consider seeing a counselor. "Bereavement and feelings of depression can be linked," warned Palmer.

Letting It Out

For teens suffering from a more manageable form of grief, communication can help ease the grieving process. "I write in my journal a lot," said Lindsay. "It's like being able to talk things out but not be judged about what I'm saying. And I have a best friend, Korey, who always listens to me. I don't know what I would do without him."

Lindsay found that relying on her friends--and developing a closer relationship with her dad--helped her survive the turmoil in her life. School and religious counselors, as well as private therapists, are also good people to approach. However, Nightingale believes, teens should turn to "whomever they're comfortable with" to share their feelings. She says that talking about grief may be easier for girls. Boys "are pulled to do something, some kind of action that honors and acknowledges the feelings that they have," said Golden.

Although time does not heal all wounds, the emotional reaction to loss does change. "The grief will pass," said Katie. "You just need to give it time."