Troubletown: life in post-science America."EMPERICAL DATA" IS ONE OF THE DEVIL'S FAVORITE PLAYTHINGS. THAT EXPLAINS MY GRADES! PROFESSORS SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO PRESENT THE THEORY OF GRAVITY Noun 1. theory of gravity - (physics) the theory that any two particles of matter attract one another with a force directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them AS FACT. LET'S HEAR BOTH SIDES. BREAD IS LITERALLY JESUS'S BODY; "BAKERIES" ARE A GIANT HOAX. Hostess Is An ILLUSION THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GERMS. "BACTERIA" IS A SECULAR ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN AWAY EVIL. THE FEDERAL JUDICIARY IS THE ARMY OF THE ANTI-CHRIST. WHEN THEY DISAGREE WITH Verb 1. disagree with - not be very easily digestible; "Spicy food disagrees with some people" hurt - give trouble or pain to; "This exercise will hurt your back" TOM DELAY. MEL GIBSON Noun 1. Mel Gibson - Australian actor (born in the United States in 1956) Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson, Gibson U.S.A., United States, United States of America, US, USA, America, the States, U.S. WAS SENT BY GOD; LETHAL WEAPON IV CONTAINS BIBLICAL MEANING. AND SMITH THEM I WILL! MANY FEMALE LEGISLATORS ARE WITCHES. THE CALIFORNIA ONES FLOAT ON WATER! GLOBAL WARMING IS SIMPLY A SIGN THAT GOD IS RESPONDING TO PRAYERS. GODDAMN god·damn also God·damn interj. Used to express extreme displeasure, anger, or surprise. n. Damn. tr. & intr.v. god·damned, god·damn·ing, god·damns To damn. adj. IT'S COLD! CONDOMS ACTUALLY HELP THE AIDS VIRUS AIDS virus n. See HIV. BY GIVING IT A LITTLE BOUNCE. SPROING! SEX EDUCATION SHOULD GIVE EQUAL TIME TO THE POSSIBILITY OF VIRGIN BIRTH. IT COULD HAPPEN AGAIN. GEOMETRY IS JUST SATAN'S WAY TO GET CHILDREN TO DRAWN HIS SYMBOLS. WHENEVER A PALEONTOLOGIST "DISCOVERS A FOSSIL" GOD GETS A CHUCKLE. FALSE! FEDERAL JUDGES SHOULD CONSULT JACK CHICK TRACTS BEFORE RULING ON ANY ISSUE. A SQUIRT OF PAT ROBERTSON'S HAIR TONIC CAN CURE CANCER IMAX IMAX Noun a film projection process that produces an image ten times larger than standard THEATERS ARE THE SATAN DOMES PROPHESIED IN THE BIBLE. FLOWERS ARE POLLINATED BY ANGEL FAIRIES, NOT SEXUALLY ACTIVE BEES. ME AND A DIRTY BUG? [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] |
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