Troubles in the convent.

My real name is not Sister Hope, but I am a Sister in a large community. I am not using my real name because that would only make my situation worse.

What is the situation I am writing about? It is the plight of many an old sister in community which does not accept the Magisterium of the Church. In the house in which I live, half of the Sisters do accept it and half do not. This split began a few decades ago when out community began to "update". Heaven help us, we didn't realize what would be the end-product of it all. The younger ones, who are now past middle-age, were the enthusiastic vanguard; the older ones, now quite advanced in years, went along innocently and now find themselves, as they approach their final meeting with God, firmly in the grip of the enemy.

It is well known that religious habits were cast aside decades ago, but is it well known that what the habit stood for has also disappeared?

Though our community has a Superior General and a General Council, there is no Superior in our houses. We are not exactly laws unto ourselves because I suppose that, if someone really did something publicly scandalous, the Superior General would take action. But, short of that, we lead our own lives, at least in theory. I say "in theory" because vacuums seem to seek fulfillment, and one of them acts as if she were the Superior, trying to run everything and to check up on every one of us.

Our house has no provision for morning prayer, evening prayer, regular Confession, an annual retreat, Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, Benediction, etc., etc. Many of the sisters attach little importance to daily Mass. Private prayer is not yet forbidden, and some of us do pray together. Our house resembles a husband and wife who belong to different churches. This is a situation common enough in the secular world but, since the Protestant Reformation, not often found in a religious community.

Half of our active community has left the religious house and live in private apartments. This has an effect, of course, on our community's decision to vacate our motherhouse because there are so many empty rooms that could have been filled by Sisters now living in private apartments. It also points out the sad state of charity in our community. It seems that, when faith is not shared in a religious house, there is nothing of value left in common.

Those of us who have not left our house must live in an atmosphere of tension. They have no interest in talking to us even at meals, once comments on the weather have been exchanged. There are no scheduled meetings. One group never dialogues with the other as a group, and there is no common support for activities. As one would suspect, joy has gone. Even more, their mind-set at times shows itself with animosity and threats.

Now, since we are not able to form a like-minded community or share interests with them, we tend to associate with good Catholic lay persons and groups. We benefit them and they benefit us, but it is a substitution that should not be forced upon us. The source of the destruction of our community life is dissent from the teaching of the Church, which is the source of nearly all the problems in the Church today, and which in religious communities of women can be found gathered around radical feminism. And, since this is so, we need not be surprised to find that our community is associated with lay persons in meetings with pagan overtones.

We are convinced that there is nothing we can do, since our generalate seems to favour them in appointments and in other decisions of all kinds. We would love to be able to become part of another community, indeed any community loyal to Christ's Church; but at our age this is just a pipe dream.

I have written this article as a demand of conscience. Some lay Catholics must know the state of affairs in our community, but why should the rest of them not be aware of what is going on? Why should they not all realize that what is important is to foster and support and strengthen the new religious communities that have sprung up for the defence of the Church and in opposition to communities like mine? If I now find myself, at the close of my life, not in the harbour of salvation promised by my religious profession, but on the stormy seas stirred up by the winds of dissent, why should I not ask the laity to pray for me, and those like me, and perhaps to petition bishops to help us?