Trash.

TOY STORY

SOMETHING FISHY MAY BE AFOOT AT SKATEBOARDING'S FAVORITE pillow fight. Rumor has Brad Staba parting ways with Enjoi and some other wild bits of speculation. Everyone's lips are sealed, on the record, so let us hope all is well at MJ's and that this whole thing gets worked out. Reef duck-dived out of the US skate shoe market and Diego, Dorian, Zitzer, Malcolm and Moffett all turned their backs on the butts. The future footwear placement for these superstars will be reported as the info becomes available.

The first survivor of the Maple implosion seems to be Tyler Hansen who will be attacking rails for Powell. No word on Knight and Dax, though I'm sure something will come along shortly.

Arto Saari is back in the US after an eight-month hiatus. A recent Arizona mish confirms that he's indeed still serious and ready to rip.

The Skate Rock phenomenon is back in a big way, with multiple wheeled warriors putting words to loud music. Hitz and Navarrette's Shed covers the darker areas while Svitak's Heartaches and Micah Mattson's Kut-u-Up rounds up the rock.

Scottish sensation John Rattray has moved stateside and is soaking up the sun with his lovely wife in beautiful Encinitas, CA--close to Zero HQ and some of the world's best skatespots.

Caine Gayle untied his Axions for a new gig over at the bio-tech Genetics/Airwalk camp, where sorted Raelians and star child Eve were both anxiously awaiting his arrival.

With the latest incarnation of the Deal in the dust (for now) and 151 still ragin' on, gunslinger Ryan Johnson moved his things and stuff over to the camp of uber-hesh.

BACK TO THE FUTURE

Speaking of the late old Elemental New Deal, Chris Hall is now a gainfully employed fashionista for the big Knee-Kay. Fuck the Mass Toys!

Former Two-Fish pro and wrestling fanatic Dan Rogers has taken the Vans team manager position, ending his career as a telemarketer in the vacations trade, and starting a whole new tradition at skateboarding's oldest footwear provider where ams and pros alike live in fear of a flying suplex should they fall out of a contest top-10.

ROCK STARS

No real confirmed word on why that "SK8er Boi" chick Avril Lavigne penciled in a lastminute NorCal Valley town gig in late December--Avril's schedule is off the hook and she hadn't slept in days! She don't need the cash! Meanwhile, SOTY 2002 Trujillo probably wasn't blasting mean slobs at the Mo-Town park on the same day, much to the dismay of young Avril.

The directorial preponderance of absurdity may be receding somewhat, at least in the vicinity of Hollywood skate movies. Word has it that Freddy Durst will not conjure up the epic Lords of Dogtown as previously released by the producers in the major media. Stacy Douglas Peralta is said to swear that the identity of the new director is trade secret. Peralta is also mum about the possibility of any purported hush hush re-write that he is doing to the Alan Weisbecker script for The Search for Captain Zero. Weisbecker, who authored the semi-infamous novel, remains secluded in the Costa Rican jungle. Jimmy "El Capitan Zero" Ganzer, long-time Rican ranchero and former manager of the infamous Makaha skateboard team, is now alleged by a cast of many to be the actual entity upon which much of the novelization is based.

60 Minutes, the television program that is regarded as being the pinnacle of journalistic integrity, profiled the Birdman in prime time. The landmark broadcast revealed that Tony Hawk: had spent over a million dollars on his Huck ramp, was indeed a devoted coach and family man, was a varsity-jock-abused high school loser, and was a 10-million a year man.

Z-Cult, under the direction of Jesse Martinez, is making moves that are causing some of the other companies to retreat in dreadful fear. The posse around the cult can include numerous Suicidals, Venetians, DT's and assorted Vato Locos. This is definitely not a spend-to-pretend marketing exercise. Jesse also is believed to have turned down a Rocco and Company offer to manage Dog Town's team. What's Mess' next outing? A career as a pro slalom racer.

ART PAIN

Tylenol has enlisted Aaron Rose to curate a team and marketing philosophy for them. Aaron's initial move is said to be the acquisition of a one Tony Trujillo. Yet another suspected Rose project client is the Nike Co. Can Rose translate Jim Morrison's old blue Venice beach house into a elevated aesthetic experience?

DC Shoes founders Damon Way and Ken Block are being sued for $140 million in damages by one-time associate Clayton Blehm. Guess which ones are the boarders that started the company and guess who the non skating 69-year-old accountant is? To make it more interesting for Ken and Damon, the Internal revenue Service is auditing their firm. If you have happen to have any questions, consult the book Agents of Change: The Story of DC Shoes and Its Athletes.

J Brother had a retrospective exhibition at the Los Angeles venue Foam. The show was the closing event at Foam, whose owner Jack Luber decided to go into the BBQ rib business. The obvious irony of green-living advocate Luber going into the meat market was too much for many to suffer silently. Luber, the former NYC Soul Kitchen impresario, was mute about the matter. Also not heard from was Jack's vegan trainer Joel Tudor.

UTTERLY STUPID

"Your participation in the skateboard industry demands your participation in and support of your trade association, IASC."

--Jim Fitzpatrick, IASC Czar

"Everything he touches seems to turn to gold: skateboards, clothes, action figures..."

--CBS' 60 Minutes on Tony Hawk

"We're showing up en masse and showing some presence. The skate industry has turned into a phone book. Someone has got to restore the authentic and take care of business."

--Jesse Martinez

"You drop in and it's on." --Tony Hawk

"This wall rules." --Rob Welsh

"I fall down once, I don't know if I can get up." --Jerry Hsu

RELATED ARTICLE: POSER OF THE MONTH

Posers: Mr. Taysom

Crime: Precarious perch

Punishment: Landscape lashings

HALL OF MEAT

Michigan's Dylan Maysick now knows if the hands don't get down, you take it to the face

Skitching on cars can lead to big thrills and even bigger slams. Jim Hampshire, New Jersey

VIDEO CREEPS

Pete Eldridge has been on a steady diet of switch rail madness. Shane Heyl has been on a steady diet of foods that don't rust his grill