Trash.

BLOWN SAVES

KING OF THE ROAD 2005 WAS ONE FOR THE SKATE HISTORY books. After braving broken arms, blown knees and a stingy Filipino, Jamie Thomas' Zero team still managed to pretty much slaughter the competition--blasting some 1,100 points past second-place Habitat. To give you an idea of how far ahead they were, in 2003 first and second were separated by just 40 points, and in 2004 the divide was around 400 (about eight 50-pointers). That means this year Zero had about 20 more of the hardest KOTR tricks than the next team.

Chris Cole, unsurprisingly, snagged the Boost Mobile MVP award (getting cash and free phone service) and was the only skater to land some of the most bizarre moves, including the fakie heel-flip over the spine and the switch 360 flip crooks. Tommy Sandoval scored a broken wrist in a pool and Rattray popped his elbow out of socket over a seven-foot spine. Most brutal of all, 2004 standout filmer Matt Winterberg tore his ACL trying the Greg Louganis down eight stairs. It's a miracle they made it to the finish line, much less in first. Photos--including plenty of competent rippitude from runners-up Habitat, Flip and Element--next issue.

After terrorizing Texas a few issues back, Jake Duncombe signed up as a full member of the new Globe team, joining Apples, Mumford and the boys on an upcoming tour in his beloved Australia. In other sponsor swaps, Ryan Sheckler and James Craig rolled over to the Bones wheels program, and Jerry Hsu and Raymond Molinar slapped on the Royals. Guy Mariano, who is rumored to be doing something Royal, appeared to be somewhat Venturing.

In Free Race news, Omar Salazar whooped it up into pro status at Rasa Libre. Drop in on that!

In his latest effort "for the kids," Snoop Dogg released a line of skateboards to go along with his youth football and snowboard program.

In the close to home front, Thrasher's very own Michael "Sparks" Sieben has quit his job in the bicycle motorcross industry to take the creative reins of a brand new skateboard board company out of Giant helmed by Long Beach's Stacy Lowery. It's called Bueno, and if it's anything like Sieben's ditch writing or Stacy's ollies, it's gonna be good.

The Vox footwear team continues to build up steam, with Dan "Corpsy" Drehobl joining the already hardy crew of Darren Navarrette, Justin Strubing, JT Aultz, Neil Blender, Peter Hewitt, Adrian Mallory and Peter Watkins. Sounds like a hell of a Christmas party.

TIDAL WAVE

Toy Machine, repped by a skeleton crew of Dirty Billy, Josh Harmony and Matt Benetar, took the big cheese at Van's Downtown Showdown over Labor Day weekend. Instead of the usual vert and street style events they've been doing for the last 10 or so years, Vans' newest contest creation was a KOTR-style approach with skateboarding's top board teams competing on specially designed obstacles--as simple as a bump-to-street gap (designed by Baker) and as wacky as a gigantic teeter-totter ledge (designed, possibly to kill someone, by Girl). The other teams, including Almost, Foundation, Element, Birdhouse and Zero, battled for 50 large in a round robin of best trick events. Other standouts were Daewon Song, Chris Cole, Andrew Reynolds and Bryan Herman.

In a somewhat related Toy Machine story, both Billy Marks and Johnny Layton broke up with their long-time ladyfriends just in time to move in together into a Corona-area bachelor's pleasure dome. The 1200-square-foot tract palace came complete with a hot tub (non-working) and a revolving cast of hardy partiers including Brian "Tell 'Em You're 25" Young and many of the Inland Empire's finest fineys. Late night adventures have included Young punching out a romantic competitor 10 years his junior, and Billy making out with a girl on the balcony so passionately that she ended up falling off and plummeting 12 feet to a doghouse back breaker below. If you're out cruising in Corona just look for the trail of puke or the smoke and you're there.

Baltimore's Brandon Westgate took first at the recent Brooklyn Banks contest, launching a wallride assault the likes of which have not been seen since the heady days of Tim Jackson. Koo-koo Billy Rohan snagged some dough, too, with heavy hardflips over the big rail. True East.

P-Rod continues on his roll, following up his X-Games win with a Slam City Jam top placement as well as fifth in the Dew Tour at Oregon.

KOTR fans who got a big kick out of Ernie Torres' 2004 coffin roll-in will want to check out the new Creature promo vid, where Navs and the crew take it a step farther by sending a buddy stiff-style down the monsterous roll-in at Hailey, Idaho. Other standouts in this online Creature feature include bowl busting Al Partanen and spooky rail rider Josh Perkins.

El Beardo called up to let us know the Channel Street skatepark in his beloved San Pedro now boasts a new pork chop bowl thanks to the usual crew of concrete coercing ne'er do wells. Check sanpedroskateparkassociation.org for photos.

MILES LONG

James "Red Dog" Muir and Teag appeared in an American Express TV commercial. The pair worked out a Venice High School, famously last seen on screen in American History X. The father-son Muir team beat out other industry parental/ offspring units who were being considered such as Paul Sehmidts, the Hawks, the Godoys, the Mountains and the Fletchers. Observers pointed out that Muir senior was coming off of a wrist reconstruction surgery, so the pain versus gain equation was in full effect.

Poncho Mohler is said to be up for a slot as a television talk show host.

Bam Margera revealed on the Jimmy Kimmel Live show that Jessica Simpson had actually transgressed with Don Vito rather than himself.

ODD DOGS

Jay Adams and Jesse Martinez are among the hierarchy that is organizing an international fraternal skateboard club. Reportedly there are regional chapters, affiliates, and even elaborate individualized jacket patches. "One-hundred-percent skateboarding" is the club's code. Marco Saiz is drawing up the design for a Jesse Martinez Daggers guest cue. This has created speculation that Saiz may also be working on a rather hush-hush club graphic. Pagado en sangre.

Gonz has now resumed all-day/all-night long training on his bicycle. One unsettling practice technique is to borrow friends' bikes, which he jumps, folds, bends and mutilates in his quest. A recent impact with a car gained Mark 30 stitches.

It was all low lows and stretch limos at the Venice, CA opening of Block and Chuck Katz show at Hama. Seen were the Mess, Christian Hosoi, Reverend Jay Alabamy, Jeff No, Scott Oster, the Muirs, Chad White, SM Berry, Aaron Murray, Ricky Massie, L Lorenzo, Wylie, Donald Cassel, Oscar Galvan, Brian Zarate and a couple 100 other equally stellar types. The spillover crowd blocked the infamous traffic circle as people jocked for entry.

BACK LOT

Wes Humpston released a 160-page chronicle of his art and times. Published by Concrete Wave, by all counts it's very in-demand.

In Hollywood, Heath Ledger is said to have gifted Skip Engblom with a classic 1949 Cadillac sled replica of the latter's old ride, which was built for the Lords of Dogtown film. In a semi-entirely unrelated development, it has been said that Stacy Peralta is negotiating for another documentary project. The subject? LA gangs. Is this another autobiographical joint? First the Z-Boys. Then big wave surfing. Now hanging and banging? One time Peralta and Rocco film associate Brentwood Stukin, who along with Apollo already created a well-received doc on the Bloods, is said to be currently slinging real estate in Palos Verdes, CA. Stukin was last seen in public with Engblom, the Caddy, and Ted Turner at a country club opening. Another story is circulating about the in-production Steve Rocco story. It's a mad, mad World.

WHITE CHICKS

Word in from Bali about a proposed mega-park project involving some of Indonesia's wealthiest developers and businessmen, as well as a crew of longtime skaters. Plans are for a development so vast and advanced as to be the premier spot in Asia and Oceania, threatening to "Blow away anything in Australia." Will a park of this massive magnitude get off the ground? And if so, how will the visiting, various skate population get along? Will we see longhairs like Jamie Thomas in some "Kuta Braids" and sandals, carrying a man-purse, like every other Westerner on the paradise island?

UNDER STOOD

"We would have won if it was called Piles of the Road."--Geoff Rowley on Flip's third place finish

"Our club is going to be the biggest skate organization in the world. Once it is, we will take over and rule."--Jesse Martinez

"What's a United States Senator doing at a skateboard park under a freeway?"--Hank Plante, CBS 5 News

"This is a tough sport. I've tried it."--US Senator Barbara Boxer

"Jake is tarnishing the tradition."--Mofo

"As you can read on the website, I'm starved for attention I never got as a child."--Jake Phelps

"If one of the judges, perhaps Jake Phelps, has a score way different from the other judges, that score will be thrown out."--Brian Schaeffer at the Vans contest rider's meeting

BAKER 3 PREMIERE

VINE THEATER, HOLLYWOOD, CA 8/10/05

IT'S BEEN CLOSE TO five years since Baker2G, the video that shot the whole Baker crew into skateboard superstardom status. Pivoted into a league of their own, featured in magazines like Rolling Stone and sought after by the biggest and best in the business, these boys have had a lot to live up to. The pressure was on and Baker skateboards was ready to deliver. On August 10, 2005 the goods arrived and nobody was disappointed--except for you if you weren't there, and the police, who definitely were there. With the addition of a couple new ams, the departures of a few friends and the return of a few others, Baker3G is a must have.--RS

RIP IN PEACE

Randy "Biscuit" Turner

11.25.49-8.18.05

RANDY TURNER--aka Biscuit--passed away in August, and the world will never see his likes again. Frontman for the Austin band the Big Boys (and later Cargo Cult and Swine King), not to mention an inspired visual artist, Biscuit represented the band's participatory creed that anyone could get on the stage and create, and to make life "Fun, fun, fun." The band was famous for tearing away the increasingly pretentious, conformist and dogmatic layers of emergent hardcore in the late '70s and early '80s, blending slower rhythms and funk into their music. Biscuit never took things too seriously, unafraid to play shows wearing a tutu and other ridiculous get ups. Their music stoked many a session, the guys in the band skated, and they were one of the original skate rock bands. There is no doubt about his legacy.