Too much of a good thing?

I am an openly gay psychotherapist who wants to congratulate you on your editorial about our community liking sex ["We Like Sex, and That's OK," August 15]. I think in order for us to be whole persons, we must grow in all areas of our life, including sex. Sex is fun, and our bodies are to be celebrated, no matter how we look. It is called living life.

ED TILLEY Wilmington, N.C.

Of course I agree with the sentiment in your editorial that we cannot pretend to scorn sex in an effort to curry favor with a homophobic power structure--enemies who would wish us dead anyway. Nevertheless, the editorial was a little frustrating, because its writers seem to assume that all queer people adore sex and are having a wonderful time with it. At the bottom of the same page in Out on the Street, only cheerful, sexually fulfilled people are quoted. One answers the question "What do you say when straight people ask about your sex life?" by saying, "It's just like everyone else's except there's a lot more of it." Talk about perpetuating a myth! What about the innumerable queers who, for whatever reason, have always been disappointed with the quality and/or quantity of the sex they have had? Although the politics of sexual liberation and freedom are immutably right, I'm not happy about the editorial's seeming assumption that queer folks have a lot of sex and are thrilled about their sex lives. While that would be nice, it just isn't so.

ROBERT E. SELETSKY Boston, Mass.

Any time we queer folk even hint at flaunting our high level of sexual expression, I experience a tightening in my gut. Now, that may be due to my own hangover of repressed sexuality. But there is also a piece that comes from deep within. I think it's my soul.

All of us in Western culture--gay, straight, and transgender--have brainwashed ourselves into thinking, and acting, as though the goodies in life are found only in the outer world. The gay subculture is not helpful, teaching me to revere youth, good looks, materialism, and sex without bounds. To truly live the gift of my gayness, I need to take a step back from this outer preoccupation to connect with something deeper.

As unaccepted members of society, we may cling more desperately than our straight brothers and sisters to the outer trappings of life out of insecurity. We lose touch with the unique gift we have to offer. As a gay man, I see that gift as having a special connection to spirit, to others, to beauty and aesthetics. I can lose touch with that gift in overvaluing and pursuing the narcissistic supplies of the outer world. Sexual liberation has value, but losing myself in sex as a surrogate for something deeper is a trap to be avoided.

RICK EVANS Denver, Colo.