There's a fine line between ambitious and audacious.

There's a lot of chutzpah around these days. You know, that great Yiddish word that means you have a lot of nerve, audacity. You're gutsy, but not necessarily in a good way.

Have you noticed people have become incredibly bold when asking for things? Sure, sometimes you have to be bold and ask for things in life--an interview, a promotion, a business opportunity but there's a fine line between ambitious and audacious.

Lately, however, some people are becoming incredibly daring--bordering on inappropriate both in what they ask for and in the way they ask.

Last month, the press reported on a New Hampshire businesswoman's plea for the community's help. This woman, who has been honored by business organizations around the state, couldn't pay the mortgage on her $1.5 million home. Her 48-acre, waterfront property, with three houses and a 40-foot dock, was in jeopardy because she owed two years of taxes and missed two months of mortgage payments. She turned to the press and cyberspace, launching a Web site and blog to solicit community support (i.e., donations). And she raised enough to pay the back taxes and ward off the auctioneers.

Um, what?

I can think of hundreds of truly deserving causes that support things like, well, homeless people. If you can't pay your mortgage, perhaps you should consider--oh, I don't know--moving toward a more modest lifestyle??

Every one of us has faced difficult circumstances and can sympathize with other people's struggles. And while some may applaud this woman for being innovative, I think her "ask" has had the opposite effect on most people. Her request for money diverts attention away from legitimate causes that need community support.

More disturbing to her profession, her "ask" points out shortcomings in her business acumen. Her clients can easily be thinking that if she can't manage her own life, how can she manage their accounts?

There are always two sides to publicity, and when you consider seeking it, you must consider the downside. Publicity is a double-edged sword sometimes. While this woman sought attention to help her cause, she also risked raising serious questions about herself and her business in the public eye.

Speaking of "asks," I was surprised by a letter that my colleagues and I received a few months ago. A high school student whom we've never met sent us a generic letter asking us to "sponsor" (i.e., pay for) her upcoming trip to Spain. She wrote that the trip would be "an amazing opportunity" and she wanted to include our organization in "its realization." In exchange, she promised us a presentation about her trip upon her return to New Hampshire.

Excuse me? A presentation?

She didn't offer to--oh, I don't know work for the money. Could someone please explain to me the benefits of my office paying for a random high school student's European vacation?

I absolutely can see the advantages that our interns receive from working in our office. They get hands-on experiences that enhance academics and future career choices. I'm all for helping to broaden young people's horizons. But excuse me if I think that asking perfect strangers to fund your trip to Europe is a bit, well, bold.

Consider the "ask'

More chutzpah! In the past few months, I've had several occasions to interact with non-profit organizations on projects or proposals. I'm here to testify that chutzpah has invaded the realm of nonprofits, as well.

We often receive requests for proposals from a variety of businesses. Usually, these RFPs are sent to multiple firms, asking for information about their capabilities, experience and rates. It's typically the first step in determining which agency best meets a company's needs. The next steps involve meetings and, perhaps, specific proposals. We recently received an RFP that stated blatantly, "as a non-profit organization, we also expect generous in-kind support." Yes, you read correctly. It said "expect."

Every year, my company provides significant pro bona work to nonprofits. I believe that helping others is the right thing to do, and am committed to volunteerism, personally and professionally.

Having said that, it is off putting when companies demand pro-bona work from me before I've met them or learned anything about their organizations. Over many years, I've been involved in countless efforts to raise money for nonprofits and causes. I've learned it's inappropriate to demand money. Showing why the organization is worthy of a donation and then offering a gentle request always works better.

My point is that all donors--whether donating dollars or services, whether individuals or companies--should be the ones to determine when and where they make their donations. And, of course, companies know that supporting non-profit clients in their causes makes good business sense.

I recognize that many companies including nonprofits have a legitimate need. However, demanding free services up front may have a counter-effect: pushing away qualified agencies that might decide not to bid on the business because they're put off by the "ask."

Yes, sometimes you just have to be gutsy to get what you want, but aim to be appealing, not obnoxious. And before you make a request, consider the many ways it might be interpreted.

Laurie Storey-Manseau owns StoreyManseau LLC a Concord-based, full-service marketing firm. She can be reached at 229-0278 or [e-mail].