The zoology of swing voters: a guide for the 2004 elections.

The Zoology of Swing Voters
A guide for the 2004 elections

 SWING VOTER    "Sex & the City"   Office Park Dads     Security Moms
                     Voters

SAYS WHO?        Page Gardner &       Mark Penn,        David Winston,
               Christina Dresser,    Penn, Schoen        The Winston
                Women's Voices,        & Berland            Group
                  Women's Vote

DEMOGRAPHICS    Unmarried women     Middle-class,       Married women
                between the ages     nonunion men       with children
                  of 18 and 64      ages 25 to 50,     who have vivid
                                     with working        memories of
                                         wives          what they did
                                                           on 9/11

FORMERLY        "Murphy Brown"       Wired workers       Soccer moms
KNOWN AS             voters

WORRIED          The luxury tax     Suburban sprawl       Everything
ABOUT

NIGGLING FACT   They don't vote     They all vote        They don't
                                      Republican           like war

YOU MIGHT BE     You're female      You still play    You manifest your
ONE IF ...         and alive       fantasy football     patriotism in
                                                         baked goods

HOW THEY          Who's hotter        Gas prices       Draft-aged sons?
WILL DECIDE

CAN'T            The last time      When they were      Whether it's
REMEMBER            they are             happy           okay to be
                                                          scared of
                                                           Arab men

THINKS                Pink         Something in the      Threatening
BLOGS ARE                            supply closet

LIES TO            Their age         Their income       Whether they
POLLSTERS                                              voted last time
ABOUT

                  NASCAR Dads       The Stern Gang        Freestyle
                                                         Evangelicals

SAYS WHO?        Celinda Lake,     Simon Rosenberg,      John Green,
                Lake Snell Perry   The New Democrat     University of
                                        Network             Akron

DEMOGRAPHICS      Blue-collar      Swing voters who       Socially
                fathers between     listen to the     conservative but
                  35 and 55,         Howard Stern      tolerant white
                  culturally             Show            evangelical
               conservative but                          suburbanites
                 very populist

FORMERLY        Reagan Democrats     Unregistered        Republicans
KNOWN AS                                voters

WORRIED           U.S.-Mexico      Vengeful midgets     The Stern Gang
ABOUT           border security

NIGGLING FACT     59 percent         They're not       They still scare
                  don't watch       quite as dumb         Democrats
               NASCAR, according     as they sound
               to CBS pollsters

YOU MIGHT BE     You boycotted     The "FCC" is the   You really are a
ONE IF ...      the Dixie Chicks   only government      compassionate
                                   agency you know       conservative
                                          of

HOW THEY       They already have    Over breakfast    A sign from above
WILL DECIDE                          that morning

CAN'T              When the           To put the        Who begat whom
REMEMBER         alimony's due     toilet seat down

THINKS               French               Gay          God's children,
BLOGS ARE                                                    too

LIES TO         "I'm really busy    Not living with   Church attendance
POLLSTERS             now"           their parents
ABOUT