The way to a will: because most states don't provide legal recognition of same-sex relationships, careful estate planning is even more critical for gay men and lesbians. (Personal Finance).

When American Air-lines flight attendant Jeff Collman died at e World Trade Center September 11, the last thing on his partner Keith Bradkowski's mind was that Collman didn't have a will. But as Bradkowski has since discovered, even though Collman had few assets, the lack of a will has complicated such seemingly simple matters as deciding which of Collman's family members and friends would receive heirlooms and personal items with sentimental value.

"I had no idea how critically important it is to have a will," Bradkowski says. "I know people don't want to talk about what happens when they die, but not doing that can put the people you leave behind in a difficult and awkward place."

Bradkowski's lesson is a poignant one, and other gay people who have lost partners have found themselves in equally or even more difficult situations, says Michael Adams, deputy legal director for Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund. About half of all Americans don't have a will. And too often, the partners of gay men or lesbians who have died without drawing up a will find themselves in nasty and protracted legal battles over a variety of issues: ownership of property, where and how funeral arrangements will be carried out, and even whether they will be able to remain in the home the couple shared.

These problems arise because state laws typically specify that when a person dies without a will, assets revert first to a spouse, followed by blood relatives. Because gay people cannot legally marry, they can very easily be shut out of inheritances.

"What I like to tell people is that you have a will whether you know it or not," explains Eugene Lawson Jr., a member of the Arlington, Va.-based law firm Fletcher, Heald, and Hildreth. "There's a designation in existence already, and you have to take steps if you want to change that."

A first step is to make sure your partner is named the beneficiary on your life insurance policy, your retirement accounts, and other investments that allow you to direct death benefits, says Laurie Neilson Lee, a partner in the Portland, Ore., office of the law firm Miller Nash. Establishing joint savings and checking accounts also will ensure that your partner has access to them if you should die or become incapacitated.

Next, work with an attorney to draft a will--and have your partner do the same, Adams advises. The legal document should spell out exactly how to distribute your wealth and assets. Don't worry that listing a particular beneficiary will forever guarantee that person a part of your estate, Lee says. Wills can be rewritten or amended as needed, allowing you to change your beneficiaries whenever you desire.

The will also should appoint a representative, called the executor, who will take charge of carrying out your wishes. Be sure to name an executor who is familiar with your relationship and will adhere not only to the specifics of your instructions but also to the spirit of them, says J. Jeffrey Haines, an associate attorney in the Baltimore office of Venable, Baetjer, and Howard. "While the executor has to follow your directions, they have a lot of flexibility on when they do things and how they do them," he says. Name your partner as your executor if you both are comfortable with that idea, he advises. You can also change your executor as you wish.

A will also can convey a person's wishes as to the kind of funeral or memorial ceremony desired and whether the body will be cremated, buried, or donated for medical research, says Haines. Laying out these directions can avert potential disputes with family members who may want a specific type of service--even one that pointedly excludes the surviving partner--or who wish to take the deceased's body "back home" for burial or cremation.

Lee says a simple will can cost as little as $500, with the costs climbing for estates with more assets or with more complicated inheritance directives. There also are inexpensive do-it-yourself will kits and computer software packages available. But Lee notes that wills created in this fashion, while better than nothing, tend to be "grossly deficient" in addressing specific state laws.

Wills also are sometimes challenged by disgruntled relatives, so you'll want yours to be as comprehensive as possible, Adams says.

Another option, particularly for couples with considerable assets and property, is to create a revocable trust, so named because the creator of the trust can change or "revoke" it as needed, says Philip Susswein, a partner in the New York City office of the law firm Proskauer Rose who also works on a pro bono basis with Gay Men's Health Crisis to help the agency's clients with simple estate planning. Essentially, assets are placed in the ownership of the trust itself, with the original owner named the primary trustee. That person's partner can then be listed as the successor trustee, who will assume control of the trust and all the assets in it in the event of incapacity or death.

This transfer of control is automatic and doesn't require approval by the courts, as wills do when proceeding through the probate process, Lee says. Trusts also can shield assets from inheritance taxes that can be imposed when bequeathing property to your partner via a will, Susswein says.

Among the clients Haines has advised to create trusts are those who worry that family members would challenge a will that leaves all or the bulk of their estate to a surviving partner. "With a will, all you need to do is make a claim against it, and the personal representative has to investigate that claim," he explains. "To challenge a trust, you have to go through a more rigorous court proceeding, and it's a much more difficult process."

In lieu of a trust, gay men and lesbians often draft durable power of attorney documents to give their partners immediate access to their financial resources. These documents are particularly important because unlike wills, which deal only with death, they come into play in the event of the grantor's incapacity. Without this protection, family members may gain control over assets and property while the person remains unable to handle his or her financial affairs. Durable power of attorney documents, like wills and trusts, can be changed or rewritten as needed.

A durable power of attorney differs from a health care power of attorney, sometimes called a living will or a health care proxy, Susswein says. A durable power of attorney deals only with financial affairs and cannot be used for medical purposes; conversely, a health care directive conveys no authority over financial matters.

Power of attorney documents and revocable trusts should be viewed as companion directives to wills, not replacements for them, Lawson says. "As meticulous as you think you're being, you should still draft a will for the purpose of picking up anything in-advertently left out," he adds.

A final step to remember is that simply drafting the appropriate documents does not put an end to estate-planning tasks, Susswein says. It's important to review your plans and policies every few years and make adjustments accordingly. "Your goals today may not be the same five years from now," he says. "You need to look at your road map and make sure it's still getting you where you want to go."

Bradkowski agrees, and he is now a fervent proponent of estate planning, having addressed the subject at a February 12 National Freedom to Marry Day rally held by Marriage Equality of California in Santa Monica. He also was scheduled to talk about the importance of wills at a Lambda Legal reception and art exhibit on April 18 in San Francisco. "If one good thing can come out of this tragedy, it's that I've been inspired by losing Jeff to want to make a difference," he says. "Anyone out there who wants me to talk about the importance of having a will, just let me know--I'll be there."