The truth about camp.

Everybody says camp will be fun. But I'm not so sure, especially after my bog brother, Zach, told me about it. He's never been to camp, but he thinks he knows everything.

He started bugging me a few days ago. I as in bed and almost asleep when...

"Psst, Nick. Are you awake?" Zach said. "Did you know that the mosquitoes at camp are so big that they sit around the campfire licking their lips and picking their teeth with toothpicks?"

"Very funny, Zach," I said. He knows I hate mosquitoes.

The next night, Zach said, "You'll have to sleep on the ground in a circle just like the cowboys used to. And the fire better not go out, or you'll be done for."

"Done for?" I asked.

"Yep," said Zach, "by the wild animals."

"Lions and tigers and bears, I suppose," I said.

I knew he was just trying to scare me.

"No," said Zach. "Bears and coyotes."

I gulped.

"And bats," added Zach. "Big ones."

I lay awake for a long time wondering about camp.

The next night, Zach was at it again. "The food will be awfull" he told me. "They'll make you eat broccoli and Brussels sprouts."

I started singing "The Star-Spangled Banner" really loud. Zach hates it when I do that.

"And eggplant and rhubarb..." he said loud enough to be heard over my singing.

O'er the land of the free... sang.

"And lima bean pancakes for breakfast," he hollered.

"And the home of the brave," I finished.

"And even the rats won't eat 'em," Zach whispered.,

The next night, it was more of the same.

"The bathrooms are little houses way out in the woods," Zach said. "You'll have to bang on the sides of them to scare the animals out before you go in. You might have to hide in the woods while the animals clear out, so watch out for the poison sumac."

"Poison what?" I asked.

Zach snickered and went to sleep.

I tried going to bed early. I tried going to bed late. But Zach was always there. And he kept the stories coming. Right up to the night before I left.

"Your counselor will probably snore so loud that the windows will rattle and the doors will shake," he said. "Your canoe will sink and you'll be attacked by crocodiles."

"I'm not listening to you," I said. I covered up my head with my pillow.

"All the grown-ups will be mean, and you won't know anybody," Zach said.

He was starting to get to me. "Well, at least I'll be away from you!" I said.

Then he really got to me. "Mom and Dad will like it so much with you gone that they won't come back to get you."

That's when I decided to get even. I hopped out of bed. There was something I needed to tell Mom before I went to sleep.

When Mom, Dad, Zach, and I pulled into camp the next morning, my counselor, Bob, came to meet us at the car. Bob's really nice. He showed us around the camp.

We carried my stuff to my cabin. (It has its own shower and bathroom.) Then we went into the air-conditioned dining hall, and I looked at the menu for the week. No Brussels sprouts. No broccoli. And Tuesday is "Pizza Night" -- my favorite.

Next, Bob took us down to the lake. There were lots of lifeguards, and I didn't see any crocodiles. On the way back to the cabin, I saw my friend Justin Weeks.

"Hey, Nick," Justin said. "I didn't know you were coming. I figured I wouldn't know anybody."

"Yeah, me tool" I said, grinning at Zach.

"You should see the bats here," Justin said.

Zach looked at me and smiled.

"C'mon, let's go," Justin said. "They're at the nature center."

I didn't really want to see them, but I followed Justin anyway. And you know, it was pretty cool. The bats were in a dark, glassed-in room. They were sleeping on their roosts.

"They come out at night and eat the bugs," Bob said. "We're glad to have them here."

I walked Mom, Dad, and Zach to the car. Mom and Dad hugged me and told me how much they'd miss me. Then Mom had a big surprise for Zach.

"Take a good look around, Zach," said Mom. "Nick told us how much you've been wanting to go to camp, and your father and I have decided to bring you back in a few weeks."

Zach groaned and got in the car.

I waved good-bye to them and thought about the fun I would have when I got home. I'll get to tell Zach what camp is really like.