The pressure's on! Peer pressure can affect every aspect of your life. Find out why 12- to 14-year-olds, especially, feel the heat. (USA).

Max felt left out. So when a group of kids at school started teasing another boy, Max joined in.

"I ended up doing the worst stuff, like making prank calls," says the 13-year-old from San Francisco, California. "My parents grounded me, and I had to apologize."

Why was Max mean? "I wanted to feel accepted and cool," he says.

Peer pressure--the pressure to behave in ways acceptable to peers (people your age)--makes many kids do things they wouldn't otherwise do.

According to Bradford Brown, an expert on adolescent development at the University of Wisconsin, peer pressure can affect almost every aspect of kids' lives.

"It's about wearing the right clothes, who you hang out with, about your relationships with your family," says Brown.

Experts say that children in grades six through eight are most vulnerable to the need to conform, or fir in.

"The reason that 12 to 14 is so challenging is that kids feel things are changing all around them and within them," says psychologist Adele Brodkin of Florham Park, New Jersey. "It's just at the point where most kids break away emotionally from their families, [but] before the later age when they can come back as separate individuals."

Brown points out that friends can provide comfort and stability during this time of transition (change).

"[Kids'] minds are changing," he says. "The're going to new schools. The rules at home are changing, and their bodies are changing. They need to get a grip on what's happening in life, and some stability. Peers [give them] that."

Negative Behavior

As Max learned, young people can pressure each other in negative ways. According to a recent study by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), teenage girls are far more likely to drink if their friends drink. And both boys and girls are far more likely to smoke if their friends smoke.

Says Bruce Simons-Morton, the leader of the NICHD study: "We found that the single most important factor is the behavior of their five closest friends. These teens are nine times more likely to smoke than early adolescents who had no friends that smoke."

Kids also intimidate (threaten) each other over schoolwork. "Some kids try to pressure you to give them answers if they didn't do their homework," says Meghan, 14, of Bridgeville, Pennsylvania.

And, as everyone knows, there is always a ringleader. When Kaitlyn of San Francisco, California, thinks about peer pressure, a fellow classmate comes immediately to mind.

"There's one boy in our class who controls everyone else," says Kaitlyn, 13. "We had a substitute reacher, and he told [other boys] to throw spitballs at her. He didn't do it, but they did. He just laughed, and they got into trouble."

Helping Each Other

Despite such incidents, peer pressure can be positive, says Brown. "We asked [kids] how strong the pressure is from friends, and the strongest two items were pressure to be social and pressure to finish high school."

Friends can also push you to be adventurous. "Sometimes your friends get you to try new things-- even just going on a roller coaster that you probably wouldn't have gone on," says Meghan.

Moses, from Rutherford, New Jersey, says that his friend Rainy helped him to direct his talents. "I used to get teased a lot in fifth grade for not being good at sports," says Moses, 12. "Rainy said, 'Try basketball.' I took the suggestion, practiced, and got good. I won the foul-shot tournament with 20 shots in a row."

Telling the Good From the Bad

Some schools have special programs to help kids handle peer pressure. Amirali of Rutherford, New Jersey, says that the issue has been discussed in his life-skills class.

"We learned about good and bad pressure," recalls Amirali, 11. "Pressuring people to join a food drive is good, but pressuring people to smoke is bad, for example."

What's important, says Brown, "is not to resist peer pressure, but to learn to recognize when peer pressures are healthy and constructive for us and when they're not."

Whatever happens, he advises teens not to worry too much: "By the time kids are 14 or 16, they've gotten a better sense of how to 'do' adolescence, how to make decisions for themselves and handle complex social scenes. So the susceptibility to peer pressure dies down."

Brodkin recommends focusing on yourself and your needs before doing something you may regret.

"It's really tough, but if kids earn their own self-respect, there are other people who will see things their way," says Brodkin. "It feels bad now, but it's going to get better."