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The long view.


Pssssst! Psssssst! Al! Al! Over here!

Tipper, is that you?

No, Al. Over here. On the credenza cre·den·za  
n.
1. A buffet, sideboard, or bookcase, especially one without legs.

2. A piece of office furniture having a long flat top and often containing file drawers, a kneehole, and accessories for a computer.
.

Oscar[TM]?

Right! How's it goin', bud?

Wow. You can talk?

I can't talk talk. Out loud, I mean. Only you can hear me.

But I can see your tiny gold lips moving. Are you inside my head?

Inside, outside, what's the difference? Let's just say I'm around your head, okay?

I'm frightened of you, Oscar. Please stop talking in my head.

What? Why? I'm your friend, Al.

Go away! Go away, crazy voices!

Shhhhhh! Keep it down. She'll hear.

Good. I want her to hear. She'll get me the medication and then I won't ever be crazy again. Tipper! Tipper!

Keep it down! Shhhhhhh! Dammit dam·mit  
interj.
Used to express anger, irritation, contempt, or disappointment.



[Alteration of damn it.]
! What is your problem?

I don't like you. You get inside my head and I get all into a muddle Muddle - Original name of MDL. . I'm going to put you in the drawer.

Don't do that! Put me down!

But you're scary. And Tipper doesn't like it when I talk to things on my desk.

Oh, Al, buddy, it's not like that. I'm here to help, is all. To help. I just want you to be happy, okay? Don't you want to be happy?

I guess.

Don't you want to make everyone else happy, too? All the children who are going to be so hot in the future?

Well, some of them will be cold. You see, the idea of "global warming global warming, the gradual increase of the temperature of the earth's lower atmosphere as a result of the increase in greenhouse gases since the Industrial Revolution. " is really kind of a misnomer misnomer n. the wrong name.


MISNOMER. The act of using a wrong name.
     2. Misnomers, may be considered with regard to contracts, to devises and bequests, and to suits or actions.
     3.-1.
. What we're talking about is "climate change," brought about by recklessly and heedlessly heed·less  
adj.
Marked by or paying little heed; unmindful or thoughtless. See Synonyms at careless, impetuous.



heedless·ly adv.
 adding greenhouse gases greenhouse gas
n.
Any of the atmospheric gases that contribute to the greenhouse effect.



greenhouse gas 
 to the--

Al! Hey! C'mon! I get it, okay? I'm Oscar[TM]--remember? You won me for that movie you did about the ozone and the earth and the thing? What I'm saying is, you keep saying that you're not running for president, and all I hear around town when you're carrying me from party to party is people begging you to run. So, run! Run, you schmuck schmuck also shmuck  
n. Slang
A clumsy or stupid person; an oaf.



[Yiddish shmok, penis, fool, probably from Polish smok, serpent, tail.]

Noun 1.
!

I'm not sure I like your tone of voice.

C'mon! It's Oscar[TM] talking! You can have it all! Listen to me. Obama? The guy's a cipher cipher: see cryptography.


(1) The core algorithm used to encrypt data. A cipher transforms regular data (plaintext) into a coded set of data (ciphertext) that is not reversible without a key.
. A nobody. Hasn't done squat. You think he's going to hold up under a national campaign? Please. VP material--maybe. If that.

What about her?

What about her? You don't think you can take her down? Seriously? Are you seriously telling me that you're afraid of her?

I'm not afraid of her, but--

Don't give me "buts"--look, it's either her or Obama, and from where I stand--

I think Kucinich could really give them a run for their money.

Don't make me hit you with my sword, okay? Al, this is yours. Yours. You got cheated eight years ago, you know you did. And it hurt. Hurt bad. You got all inside yourself and let's face it, you sorta went nuts. With the beard and the extra weight. But this is your chance! They love you!

They did seem to sort of crowd around me, at the parties.

I know, bud. I was there, remember?

And Geffen and those guys really kept pushing me to run.

Right! They think you're cool!

I've waited so long to be cool.

And you know what else? They absolutely hate her. Even the people who like her hate her.

That's true.

So come on!

You know what? Maybe I will.

You're going to make a lot of people very happy.

You think?

I know. And you know who's going to be happiest?

Who?

Leo Leo, in astronomy
Leo [Lat.,=the lion], northern constellation lying S of Ursa Major and on the ecliptic (apparent path of the sun through the heavens) between Cancer and Virgo; it is one of the constellations of the zodiac.
.

Leo DiCaprio? You think? You think he even cares about stupid old me?

What's with that? You are NOT stupid, Al. You're smart and tall and you've got a terrific speaking voice. Maybe lay off the bread, but--

You think Leo would like it if I ran?

I KNOW he would.

He's so handsome.

Okay, now.

Just so incredibly handsome.

Okay, now. Let's, um, let's not Let's Not is a science fiction short story by Isaac Asimov. It was first published in Boston University Graduate Journal in December 1954. It was written for no payment as a favour to the journal, and later appeared in the collection Buy Jupiter.  get all into that stuff.

I'm just saying he's handsome.

Yeah, I get it. Look, I know what you mean and you know what you mean, but I think it's better not to get into that whole ... area. People talk, you know?

What?

I'm just saying. Look, you've got a very appealing quality. A very kind of swishy swish·y  
adj. swish·i·er, swish·i·est
1. Producing a swishing sound.

2. Slang Effeminate.

Adj. 1.
 appealing quality.

WHAT?

Let's change the subject.

No, I want you to tell me what you mean. Right now! Shhhhhhh!

Al?

Yes, Tipper?

Who are you talking to Noun 1. talking to - a lengthy rebuke; "a good lecture was my father's idea of discipline"; "the teacher gave him a talking to"
lecture, speech

rebuke, reprehension, reprimand, reproof, reproval - an act or expression of criticism and censure; "he had to
 in there?

Um ... no one.

It's not the voices again, is it?

No, no, no, no, no. Of course not. That's all ... that's all in the past. Say, Tip, got a sec?

Sure. What's up?

I'd like to run a little something by you.

Go for it!

Keep quiet.

What?

Not you, Tipper.
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Article Details
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Author:Long, Rob
Publication:National Review
Date:Mar 19, 2007
Words:792
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