The long view.

TO: All newsroom staff

FROM: Management

RE: Summer 2006 Directives

As summer approaches, it's time to refresh and rethink our 2006 directives, and to point them more effectively in the direction of the 2006 midterm elections and the 2008 presidential cycle.

Many of you in the newsroom and the editorial staff grumble about the frequency of these directives, but Management has conducted exhaustive research, and has discovered that the sooner all of us in the news and journalism professions settle on Approved Themes, Ancillary Ledes, and Iconoclastic Poses, the more consistent our product is for the consumer.

Until further notice, these are the new directives:

While it is true that "Sen. John McCain Cannot Win the Republican Primary" is still an Operational Theme and should NOT be discarded, this theme has been subordinated under another Operational Theme, "The Republican Party Is Too Right Wing," which we discuss in Section 5. Please do not file stories and/or opine on television that "Sen. John McCain Cannot Win the Republican Primary" unless it is supporting clause to any of the new Approved Themes. Management has detected a subtle backlash to this theme, and so has changed its status from Approved to Operational. Please update your macros. Note: Management is temporarily allowing "John McCain Will Run as an Independent" as an Iconoclastic Pose.

The new Approved Theme regarding Sen. John McCain is that "He Is Pandering to the Right Wing of the Republican Party." Please ensure that all subsequent stories and/or op-eds conform to this new Approved Theme. Suggested Ancillary Ledes are: how his sense of humor, once witty, has turned mean; how his manner, once charming, now seems forced and calculating; how his candor, once winning, now is revealed to be media-driven. Feel free to elaborate on any of those Ancillary Ledes, but note that this is THE ONLY Approved Theme regarding Senator McCain.

The new Approved Theme for the 2006 midterms is "Democrats Will Make Key Gains," in association with "Republicans Will Stay Home." As you know, Management hasn't had the best track record when it comes to Approved Themes for midterms and general elections. Our 2002 theme, "9/11 Helps Democrats," and our 2004 theme, "The Iraq War Dissent Helps Democrats," were less than prescient, but the key here is not to predict so much as to shape perception. As you know, our most loyal consumers prefer more soothing Approved Themes, such as our famous Approved Theme for the 2004 presidential cycle, "Kerry Taps Into Unease," and our Fast Break Theme for Election Day 2004, "Kerry Wins South Carolina." These themes, while not accurate in the technical sense, nevertheless served our most committed customers.

Possible Iconoclastic Pose: "Things Are Going Well in Iraq BECAUSE of Pressure From Democrats."

Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) is no longer "Controversial" or "Polarizing." Please remove these adjectives from your Hillary Clinton macros, and replace them with "Moderate" and "Judicious" or another adjective in the approved list. The current Approved Theme regarding Senator Clinton is that "She Is an Effective Legislator and Moving Her Party to the Center." Suggested Ancillary Ledes include anything to do with attacks on her from the Far Left (see last month's directive, Section 3, Iconoclastic Pose: "The Daily Kos Website Is a Spirited and Lively Incubator for Democratic Renewal") and the fear she engenders on the right. Please note that this is a tricky area, and that Approved Themes are constantly evolving.

Please also note that "Bill and Hillary: The Model of a Two-Career Power Couple Very Much in Love" is STILL an Approved Theme and has not been changed to a Holding, Transitional Theme. Management is still very interested in seeing more stories of this type.

Immigration is a hot topic these days, and Management has streamlined the debate by omitting the word "illegal" from the lexicon. Please update your macros and word-sheets accordingly. This directive was issued several weeks ago, but we're still seeing it slipped in now and then, and it's a sign of sloppy computer work. We are currently working with our IT people to design functionality into these directives, so that when opened on your desktop they automatically update both your macros and your approved phrasebooks. Until then, however, we still have to do it manually. The new Approved Theme regarding immigration is that "The Republican Party Is Too Far Right," and this should be the central thrust of ANY discussion of the topic. Please note that the Approved Theme, "The Current Debate on Immigration Helps the Democrats," is STILL Approved and Operational and should be used in tandem with the new Approved Theme. Please also note that there is NO Iconoclastic Pose yet approved by Management.

Thank you for your prompt attention to these new Approved Themes. We know you'll find them useful in your work reporting and analyzing the news, and we hope you appreciate all of the time and effort it takes to come up with Approved Themes that have the snap, crackle, and pop of genuine independent thought, without all of the messy and distracting effort necessary to produce it yourself.