The long view.

Transcript: Larry King Live, January 25th, 2005

LARRY KING: "The whole hour tonight on the tsunami! The after-effects! The relief effort! We'll be talking to experts, and former presidents Bill Clinton and George Bush the Elder! And your calls! It's a serious subject, folks! From Beaufort, South Carolina, you're on with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie! Hello!"

CALLER: "Hi, Larry, Happy New Year, ladies."

PARIS HILTON: "Thanks, really."

NICOLE RICHIE: "Happy what?"

LARRY KING: "Do you have a question about the tsunami for Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, caller?"

CALLER: "Um, yeah, I was wondering about the physics of the tsunami. If it's caused by an earthquake and it's essentially an energy wave that ripples out from the epicenter, what makes it gain velocity as it travels? Shouldn't its power be diminished?"

LARRY KING: "Good question. Gals?"

PARIS HILTON: "Hi, Larry. You have pretty hair."

CALLER: "I'm sorry, Larry, I didn't get that."

NICOLE RICHIE: "Apparently, there's like, a lot of poop in the water now over there?"

PARIS HILTON: "Gross! Nicole!"

NICOLE RICHIE: "I heard it from some guy on that show? It's like, science?"

LARRY KING: "Let me ask you gals something. Can celebrities help in a situation like this? Is there some way for, say, a Paris Hilton or a Nicole Richie or a Joan van Ark to use their fame and glitz to do something for the people over there who are suffering?"

PARIS HILTON: "Well, probably. My publicist is trying to figure that out right now."

LARRY KING: "Either one of you heading over there?"

NICOLE RICHIE: "Um, hello? I refer you to my previous statement about the poop?"

LARRY KING: "From Colby, Kansas, you're on with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie! Hello!"

CALLER: "Hi, Larry. My question is, if Nicole and Paris are going to use their unique talents to help the victims of this terrible tragedy?"

PARIS HILTON: "Yes. Yes. Definitely."

LARRY KING: "Help me out here, gals. What, exactly, are those unique talents?"

PARIS HILTON: "What?"

LARRY KING: "What do you guys do?"

NICOLE RICHIE: "Um, hello? We appear on TV?"

LARRY KING: "Former president George Bush the Elder is on the line! Tomorrow! The whole hour with the cast of 'The Facts of Life'! From Elyria, Ohio, you're on with former president George Bush the Elder! By the way, Mr. Prez, do you like that? The 'elder' business?"

GEORGE H. W. BUSH: "Well, Larry, it's sort of silly."

LARRY KING: "Silly but true. You are the elder."

GEORGE H. W. BUSH: "Yes, but ... forget it. What's the question?"

LARRY KING: "Caller?"

CALLER: "I was wondering what he and President Clinton talked about on the way over."

LARRY KING: "Good question, caller. Some sniping? Back-and-forth stuff? Anything?"

GEORGE H. W. BUSH: "Good Lord, Larry, no, of course not."

LARRY KING: "Did you eat together? Mixed nuts? Enjoy a movie? Two former presidents together on a plane. Sounds interesting."

GEORGE H. W. BUSH: "Well, it's a long flight to Bangkok, Larry, so naturally we both needed to sleep."

LARRY KING: "Who slept?"

GEORGE H. W. BUSH: "I think President Clinton probably did the most napping."

LARRY KING: "Is he on the line now?"

GEORGE H. W. BUSH: "No, he's ... I actually don't know where he is right at this moment. He was met at the plane by some, I think, friends of his, and they went off to tour some of the areas in Bangkok ..."

LARRY KING: "The tsunami hit Bangkok?"

GEORGE H. W. BUSH: "No, no. I think he went on a tour of some other areas of Bangkok."

LARRY KING: "Areas affected by the tsunami?"

GEORGE H. W. BUSH: "Not per se. Different areas of Bangkok."

LARRY KING: "Refugee areas of Bangkok?"

GEORGE H. W. BUSH: "No, Larry. Other areas of Bangkok. Other, popular, areas of Bangkok, Larry. Bangkok."

LARRY KING: "Relief-effort staging areas, maybe?"

GEORGE H. W. BUSH: "If memory serves, I think there's a stage involved."

LARRY KING: "Later this week, we'll catch up with the Arnaz kids! Caller, you're on the air with an expert from the Center for the Study of International Co-operation here in Washington. What's your question?"

CALLER: "Hi, I was wondering how, exactly, the aid money is distributed? And if part of that money is going to be used for long-term development and construction for the regions involved?"

LARRY KING: "Good question. So? Another tsunami hits next month? Are we in the same boat? As it were?"

EXPERT: "Well, Larry, the important thing here is to keep in mind that these areas have already suffered, in some way, an economic tsunami, due to the Bush administration's trade and environmental policies, and in many ways, we here in this country have suffered a tsunami in civil liberties, with the passage of the Patriot Act and the reign of John Ashcroft at the Department of Justice. Not to mention what I call the tsunami of disenfranchisement we saw during the most recent presidential quote election unquote, so when we talk about tsunamis and their effect it's really crucial to distinguish which tsunami we're talking about, and where."

LARRY KING: "Next week! Remembering Herve Villechaize!"