The long view.

Church Newsletters From All Over

From "Light the Lamp!": The monthly newsletter of the Holy Flame Pentecostal Church of Little Rock, Ark.

   We welcome back to the area
   Senator Hillary Clinton (D.,
   N.Y.), who has been spending
   so much time here in
   Little Rock lately that she's
   practically joined the church
   choir! "I'm here spending
   time at my husband's
   library," she told
   the Lamp when we caught
   up with her after a Sunday
   camp meeting, "and of course, I
   always take time to worship God in
   as evangelical a way as is feasible,
   given time and location constraints.
   As you know, I consider
   myself an evangelical Christian,
   really a Christian conservative, if
   you want to know the truth, so it's
   nice to be 'home' again in the
   South, which I really consider my
   quote-unquote home even though I
   live in New York most of the time.
   Well, Washington, D.C., most of
   the time, actually, but if I'm not
   there I'm in New York, of course,
   but always thinking about being
   here, in the South, my spiritual
   home, where I shared so many
   wonderful evangelical ... moments
   and ... events. Can you
   read that back to me?"

      The "Light the Lamp!" staff
   would like to take this opportunity
   to remind everyone that Christ
   loves all of us equally, and that
   God's house is open to all, even to
   senators from New York, so whoever
   is muttering stuff and saying
   mean things while pretending to
   cough can just quit it right now.

From "Sing Out!": The official blog of the Church of the Redeemer in Blaine, Mo.

   Tuesday night's Bible Study class
   was touched by stardust this week,
   when who dropped in but
   Senator Hillary Clinton (D.,
   N.Y.), who told the surprised
   but warmly welcoming
   study group that she
   was just passing through
   (maybe going to the big
   Democrat shindig in St.
   Joe??) when she was suddenly
   struck with wondering
   about Jesus' description of the "narrow
   door" (Luke, 13th chapter) and
   wanted to find a group of "fellow
   Bible-believing Christians" who
   might share her spiritual search.
   Truth be told, there was some
   grumbling in the group, as Tuesday
   night's topic was supposed to be
   Jesus and the South Beach Diet, but
   all were gracious and full of fellowship
   ... also, the senator brought
   Cinnabons! It was a great night
   overall, and as she left, the senator
   thanked each and every one of the
   study groupies, as we call ourselves,
   for "taking in this lost lamb
   and helping her see the way," and
   she reminded us that it's awfully
   hard for a Bible-centered Christian
   conservative like her to serve in the
   Senate, which sort of puzzled some
   of us--who kept remembering her
   doing this and saying that and that
   and that and doing this and this and
   this--and with a wave she stepped
   into her limo and zoomed off! It
   was like Oscar night!

From "Many Sheaves": The Christmas appeal letter of the Precious Lamb Roman Catholic Church in Santa Fe, N.M.

   Thanks go out to Senator Hillary
   Clinton (D., N.Y.) for the wonderful
   lemon pound cakes she sent
   along for our holiday bake sale.
   She writes in to "Many Sheaves":
   "As I'm sure your parishioners
   remember, I often stopped by the
   Precious Lamb Roman Catholic
   Church whenever I was in Santa
   Fe. It was a wonderful place to
   worship and contemplate God's
   infinite majesty, and I was often
   struck, as I sat in your beautiful
   church, by how infallible the Pope
   really is. Just a wonderful, infallible
   person. Best of luck with your
   Christmas appeal! And remember,
   the Pope really is tops with me!"

From the official program of the monthly baptism ceremony of the Come to Christ Baptist Church, Medford, Ohio.

   Receiving Christ today in holy
   baptism, we're honored to have
   some newcomers to the C2C community.
   We know there's some in
   the church who aren't too pleased
   to celebrate some of these folks'
   coming to the Lord, but as He
   taught us, judgment is for the
   Father. Our calling is to welcome
   these folks into the fellowship of
   Christ. We'll be gathering at
   the river bank to celebrate the
   baptisms of Senator Hillary
   Clinton (D., N.Y.), Senator John
   Edwards (D., N.C.), Governor
   Bill Richardson (D., N.M.), and
   Senator Evan Bayh (D., Ind.).
   Originally, it was just going to be
   a small ceremony with Senator
   Clinton and her film crew, but I
   guess word got out! The power of
   God's love really seems to be
   sweeping the Democratic party!
   Hallelujah!