The limits of satire.

May 14, 1993: "H. Wayne Huizenga announces a master plan to build a giant theme complex in south Florida, featuring baseball, hockey, basketball, an amusement park, movie theaters, hotels, restaurants, condominiums, a police force, an air force, an independent government recognized by the U.N., and the power to declare war. Everybody agrees this would be good."

So wrote Dave Barry in his day-by-day, year-end review, a feat he performs annually for The Miami Herald. In other references to what has come to be known as "Wayne's World," Barry noted in his December 26 story that the state turned over the deed to the Everglades in June, that the United Nations granted Huizenga full legal control of the Atlantic Ocean in July, and that the U.S. Congress exempted Wayne's World from the U.S. Constitution in August.

If Barry thought he was exaggerating, he was only slightly wrong.

In mid-January 1994, Huizenga formally asked the Florida legislature for authority to impose taxes, condemn land. issue tax-exempt bonds, and establish a police force on a 2,500-acre plot of land that sits on the edge of the Everglades, astride the line separating Dade and Broward counties (which include Miami and Fort Lauderdale, among many other smaller municipalities).

In early April, the legislature approved most of Huizenga's proposal. Blockbuster Park (the complex's real name) has taxing authority (both sales and property) and the right to charge tolls on its roads, issue tax-exempt bonds, condemn land, issue no-bid contracts for such park services as garbage collection, and award construction contracts without the usual government-bidding requirements.

The legislature balked at the police force: Huizenga may hire a security force without arrest powers, but will have to rely on the police and fire departments of nearby communities.

And who is responsible for all this governmental power? A five-member board to be appointed by the landowners - Wayne Huizenga and his friends.

Huizenga's fortune began in garbage collection, a business he built into Waste Management, Inc., the world's largest waste-disposal firm. Now his base is the nationwide chain of Blockbuster Video stores (1992 revenues: $1.2 billion), which is considering a merger with cable TV giant Viacom - owner of MTV, Nickelodeon, Showtime, several other cable networks, five TV stations, and fourteen radio stations (1992 revenues: $1.9 billion). Huizenga also owns the Florida Marlins baseball team and the Miami Panthers hockey team.

Carl Hiaasen, another Herald columnist and popular south Florida novelist, also tried his hand at satire. Back in January, he suggested, for example, that the defenders of the Wayne's World borders be armed with assault weapons "acquired in a buy-back program offering video-rental coupons in exchange for the guns." So, okay, the legislature didn't give Blockbuster policing authority, much less a standing army.

But in the same column, Hiaasen suggested that "a developer can go hog wild. No more fretting over fragile wetlands and endangered wildlife, or haggling with picky code inspectors. When you're in charge, you write the codes!" Three months later, Blockbuster was given exclusive power to make land-development regulations and issue permits subject to review, not approval, by local government.

Satire is really no match for this story.