The greatest need of women.

Two women. One single, the other married. The first has spent the past few years climbing the professional ladder. The second has been ascending the nurturing ladder of motherhood.

Two women. If by chance the should meet, they probably would ignore each other. They appear to have nothing in common, but they do. They both struggle with the same psychological battle--low self-esteem.

Focus on the Family's James Dobson once said, "If I could write a prescription for the women of this world, I would provide each of them with a healthy dose of self-esteem and personal worth (taken three times a day until the symptoms disappear). I have no doubt this is their greatest need."

Would you as a woman say this is your greatest need? At the moment I would argue that mine is for a dishwasher! But deep down most of us indeed harbor feelings of low self-worth.

In the majority of cases this begins in early home life. Feelings of being unloved, disrespected, unwanted, and the recipient of negative messages and rules con result in a lack of self-esteem.

A person with a low self-worth may also feel unattractive and worthless, and have a lack of confidence that can squash her talents. Isolation, loneliness, and possible bad relationship choices can also result.

However, for some a poor self-image can lead to perfectionism--a constant striving to be better than others. This can eventually result in a distorted view of God.

Low self-esteem does not portray a happy individual, goes it? But it can be eradicated. Here are some ways.

You are unique. Experts tell us that 90 percent of our self-concept is built on what we think others think of us. Our self-concept, then, needs to be based on something more concrete than the fickleness of people's opinions. Why not base your self-worth on the value that God places on you? Revel in the fact that He made you unique. immerse yourself in the thought that you are precious and appreciated by God for who you are.

A practical way of doing this is to focus regularly on passages of Scripture that speak of God's opinion of you.

Speak positively about yourself. The way we think and the phrases we use can often affect our mood and actions. Sentences such as "I'm no good at that", "I always fail," and "Nothing ever goes right for me" are certainly not going to build self-esteem. Also, analyze the words you use. "I am only a homemaker" is vastly different from "I am a homemaker."

One lady who jotted down the amount of negative thoughts or phrases she used to describe herself was shocked to record 26. Stop these negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.

Pic' n' mix. A young lady who suffers from low self-esteem recently decided to take control of her life. She began a part-time job, started a one-day-a-week course at college, and joined a beginners' exercise group.

Even though it has taken tremendous courage to embark on these projects, the interest that she has in each of them has overtaken her shyness. The satisfaction of doing something she wants to do has helped to increase her feelings of self-worth.

Appreciate yourself. It is important for you to appreciate yourself for the individual that you are. A lady who suffers from low self-esteem recently told me that even though her husband of 12 years constantly tells her that he loves her, she doesn't believe it. How can anyone love me? she thinks. Start accepting the positive messages that people give you about yourself.

If there is no one to give you a positive stroke, do it yourself. Make a list of your good qualities and focus regularly on them. Think of ways in which you lives of others. In appreciating yourself, you will be able to appreciate the talents of others without wanting to compete with them.

Be yourself and enjoy it. Author Chuck Swindoll says, "We are prone to keep people out of our private worlds by wearing masks--not physical masks, but psychological ones."Do you wear a mask, that says "I'm tough" or "I'm Superwoman" or "I can handle anything"? Most of us hide behind a facade because we want to be accepted, and we fear any display of weakness or vulnerability. But take the plunge; discard you r mask of trying to appear perfect. Enjoy the freedom of being yourself. Life is too short to waste it by pretending to be something you are not.

There are many other practical ways of raising your self-esteem: wear clothes that enhance your confidence; learn that it's OK to make mistakes; enroll in an assertiveness class; read self-help books from the library; take care of your needs and express them to others.

Loosen up, smile, laugh, and enjoy the uniqueness of you--God does!

Mary Barrett is a homemaker and postor's wife, with special interest in devotional life and prayer ministry. She lives in Cambridge, England.