The giving spree: Are you smitten and fixin' to give your guy a gift? Here's how to avoid a V-day disaster. (GL Guys).

For all you gals who are just itching to say, "Be mine, we've put together a don't-embarrass-the-socks-off-your-feet-on-Valentine's-Day cheat sheet. We'll help you do it right (if you must do it at all). Take heed from girls whose gifts have goofed.

WORDS TO THE WISE

Just springing for a card can be tricky. Which should you pick? What will you write? How should you sign it? When will you deliver it? Aaargh!

Rule No. 1: Avoid buying a flowery, lovey-dovey card pumped up with words like "love," "obsessed" and "forever" Gust to name a few). Play it safe, and go for something in the humor aisle. Nothing says, "I dig you," like a lighthearted card with a big hairy ape on the front.

And remember, the best cards come in standard-size envelopes. Announcing you're ga-ga in a larger-than-life kind of way is a big no-no. Take it from Suzanne, 13: "I thought Valentine's Day would be the perfect time to tell this guy I liked him, so I bought one of those oversized, two-and-a-half foot tall cards. There was a huge picture of Ziggy, and it said, 'I can only think of one word when I think of you.' When you opened it, huge pop-out letters jumped up that spelled, 'WOW!' When I gave it to him, all his friends burst out laughing. He turned bright red and ran away." Lesson learned: A smaller card is more effective and certainly less embarrassing.

The write stuff When signing the card, go easy. Remember, you can't take it back--it's in print. Professing your undying love for a guy in ink is not recommended, especially if you aren't 110-percent positive he feels the same way. "I gave a card to my crush," 'fesses Natalie, 14, "and inside I wrote how hot I thought he was, how much I wanted to kiss him and other mushy stuff. When he read it, he keeled over laughing and showed my personal message to all his friends. I almost died!" So stick to something casual, innocent or even funny. There's no harm in, "Happy Valentine's Day to the best snowboarder!" A single compliment isn't likely to backfire.

Be scent-sible Spritzing the card with your signature scent is a sweet gesture plenty of gals swear by. Just be careful with this old trick 'cause your scheme could turn sour. Says Dawn, 14, "I sent my BF a card I had sprayed with perfume. Not only was he blown away by the heavy smell, but the card stuck together so he couldn't even read it!" The moral of the story? Making his eyes well up over your sentimental words is good; causing them to tear up from an unintentional stink bomb is not. Just a little dab of a light scent oughta do the trick.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

You know what they say--the way to a guy's heart is though his stomach. But as with cards, edible gifts are not issue-free. Learn from Robyn, 14: "I ordered a huge heart-shaped chocolate chip cookie with 'Be my Valentine' writ in icing. I gave it to my new boyfriend, and it embarrassed the heck out of him. All his friends made fun of him--and me." A small bag of regular-sized homemade snickerdoodles should go over better. He's a boy, not a brontosaurus. Seriously, no guy wants a cookie that's bigger than his head. If he's not so mortified that he pitches it the minute you swing the corner, he'll probably have one or two bites before stashing it in his locker 'til spring break.

DISCREET DOES IT

If you've learned anything at all from our readers' romantic mishaps, we hope it's this: When you give your crush his gift or card, make sure he's alone. Guys tend to act goofy around their friends. If there's no one else around, he won't feel as pressured to play it cool.

And besides all that, if you're not so sure about his feelings, you won't be let down in front of the whole school. And who knows? He might just use that alone time to reach into his locker and give you an obnoxiously large teddy bear and milk chocolates in a box that plays "You Are My Sunshine" when you open it. Now, aren't you glad no one else is around?