The act, not the gift, that matters. (Executive Perspective).

This is always a zestful and stressful time of year for most of us. The holiday season, which stretches on for over a month, calls for reflection and celebration. But sometimes that is hard because it is also a time when there is too much to do, too many obligations and too many people to please.

While that sounds like most months for school administrators it doesn't change the reality that the holidays bring a roller coaster of emotions and missed opportunities.

However, remember the essence of what these celebrations entail. It is about new starts and new opportunities. But it is also about the tradition of gift giving and receiving. Many cultures and religions share the notion that gifts are an important part of the human experience. I would go so far as to suggest that it is at the core of our humanity. Every interaction we have with another person is an exchange. The question is whether that exchange is selfless and additive or selfish and diminishing.

People who are selfless and generous in spirit expand the universe. They leave the log pile of life higher than the one they found. Those who are self-serving take from others for their benefit. Again that has much to say to school administrators.

Every day we are offered the opportunity to give. We are called on by our communities and our staffs to provide them what they need at that particular point. We have the wonderful opportunity to give our children access to their dreams. Religion reminds us that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Our blessings come not in what we are given but from what we give. And it isn't about making the purchase; it is about making an effort.

The Act Matters

I am reminded of a story I once read about a teacher working on an isolated island. One of the treasures of the island was a rare shell found only on a deserted beach far from the village where the teacher worked. One day a student brought her a gift of one of those shells. The teacher was touched but told the student he shouldn't have walked so far to get her the present. The student replied, "But teacher, the walk was part of the gift."

I think that too often we concentrate on the "what" of gift giving and ignore the "how" of it. It is the act, not the gift that matters. It is the caring and concern that matters most. It is making the walk to provide something to someone else that elevates our spirits. Every day we have opportunities to walk a distance for others. How often do we take the effort?

As some of you know, I lost my mother this past summer. While I was grateful for the flowers and the memorials offered by so many friends, I was most touched by the heartfelt words and sometimes just the looks of concern I received from friends. In many ways those were the gifts that mattered most.

The point here is that gifts are not about the cost, but they are about what is invested in them. You can give or receive something of great monetary value but it will mean less than a handmade card created by a child. Value is the meaning we attach to something, not what it costs. And meaning is found in our hearts and souls, not our pocketbooks.

I have been struck by how our popular culture causes our children to know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Values and inherent worth are one of the greatest gifts we can give our children. Helping them know the power of giving is one of our greatest gifts to them. And giving of ourselves is one of the greatest gifts we can give others.

Greatest Treasures

There is the wonderful O. Henry short story of the "Gift of the Magi," which tells of a husband and wife who were very poor but wanted to give each other something special for Christmas. The husband has only an expensive watch and the wife has only her beautiful long hair. The husband sells his watch to buy her a comb, and she cuts and sells her hair to buy him a watch chain. While their gifts, because of their mutual generosity, were useless, they were priceless because of the love they represented.

And, of course, the great irony here is that as we give, we are gifted ourselves. I have considered one of life's great treasures the opportunity to serve children and those who care for them. The little secret that public servants know that those who seek profits do not know is that life's greatest treasures can't be purchased at the store. They are found in the smiles of gratitude or in knowing in your heart that you made a difference in the life of a child. Not a bad gift to receive for all your effort.

Paul Houston is AASA executive director. E-mail: [e-mail].