The Role of Intimate Identities and Communication Styles in Couple Functioning.

The Role of Intimate Identities and Communication Styles in Couple Functioning, Alia W. Offman and Kimberly Matheson, Carleton University, Canada

We examined sexual and general dilemmas within intimate relationships in order to assess how the relative importance of these domains to the individual interacted with styles of communication to determine satisfaction in the relationship. How individuals communicated in conflicts within an intimate relationship was expected to be unique when the conflict involved sexual issues. However, the extent to which different communication styles were linked to relationship functioning was expected to vary depending on the relative importance of individuals' sexual self relative to how much they valued their self-in-relationship. We suggested that the relative commitment an individual had to their intimate and sexual selves would ultimately affect the level of satisfaction in the relationship by influencing the responses chosen in response to sexual versus general dilemmas. Couples volunteered for the study in response to newspaper advertisements, listserv postings, and posters placed in community agencies. Those who were interested were mailed questionnaire packages with return envelopes enclosed. Participants (N = 96) responded to measures of identity, communication styles, and satisfaction, both in terms of their sexual selves and their relationships. A 2 (sexual vs. non-sexual dilemmas) X 4 (communication styles) repeated-measures ANOVA indicated that lower levels of destructive responses were used in sexual dilemmas than in general relationship dilemmas. Additionally, two sets of hierarchical regression analyses revealed that the relative placement of the sexual and intimate selves qualified the relation between communication styles and satisfaction in the relationship. Our findings demonstrated that individuals used different patterns of communication when dealing with sexual versus non-sexual areas of the relationship. Additionally, we found that the levels of commitment to the self-in-relationship relative to the sexual self played a role in how communication styles affected sexual and relationship satisfaction. The research suggests that satisfaction in the sexual and general domains of the intimate relationship is associated with an interrelated system of communication styles and identities that determine the success with which couples negotiate dilemmas in the intimate relationship.