The Power of Play.

Parents and children need to play, even when time is at a premium.

There are six little words in the English vocabulary that strike terror in my heart. They are not "Help, the house is on fire!" or "The toilet is going to overflow!" or even "Why is that policeman stopping us?" No, they are even more frightening. The six little words that make my guts twist up in agony are "I have a good idea, Mom," because these words are always followed by "Let's play `animals, animals talk.'"

For the benefit of the uninitiated--who would be, I guess, everyone who doesn't live in our house--the game is called "animals, animals talk" because, as Josh explained, he has a lot of animals, and in the game all they do is talk. It isn't the talking that bothers me so much as the playing. Maybe it's because I've pushed myself so hard for so many years to do everything that I have no patience for sitting around and doing ... well, nothing.

My pat answer is "Not now; I have to--[fill in the blank with the appropriate--and by association, more important--chore]."

I think part of the reason I don't like to waste time playing is that there is always so much to be done. Thinking back to when I was growing up, I can't remember my mother ever playing with us. She showed her love by "doing."

And yet play can't be discounted. It's important. Internationally recognized play specialist O. Fred Donaldson writes: "Play provides us with an inherent process of preventive health care that can be applied in the daily lives of our children. Play works at physiological, emotional, and interpersonal levels simultaneously. The increments of trust felt in mutual touch, though very difficult to measure, are tangible in the life of a child. The kindness, trust, and non-sexual, noncompetitive touch of play often results in improved self-esteem, emotional and physical well-being, and reduced stress levels."

In a special issue of Parenting magazine, Tipper Gore listed the 10 most important things you can do for your child. Number 9 was: Carve out special time. She writes, "When you spend time with your child, you let her know she's important to you. If you have to say `I don't have time right now,' be sure to set aside a specific day and hour when you will do an activity with her. Kids can be forgiving about busy schedules, but their needs must be respected."

Donaldson writes: "It is easy to play when you have nothing to do, when you feel good; the challenge is to play when you are busy, tired, and angry."

I'm wondering, in my lifetime, if it will ever be possible not to be busy and tired. I also have wondered if perhaps Josh's temperamental behavior might result from a lack of attention on my part. So one morning when he crawled into my bed for a snuggle, I whispered, "Guess what today is."

His eyes grew wide. "What?" he whispered back.

"It's Joshua Day," I told him. All day we did things he wanted to do. I played "animals, animals talk" for 45 minutes (not that I was counting!), and we did other special things. At the end of the day he told me he liked it even better than his birthday, when he got lots of presents.

And you know what? I discovered that my concerns were unrealistic. My house wasn't condemned, I wasn't fired, and time marched on without my willing it forward every second. Best of all, I made some great memories with my children. As Rob, my all-wise husband, says: "The house will always be here. The kids won't."

I've decided there will be many more Joshua Days, and eventually there will be Rachel Days, too.

Celeste perrino Walker lives in Rutland, Vermont, where she writes these columns on her occasional Vibrant Life days.