The Essential Mother's Day Survival Kit for Dads and Kids.

Moms don't ask for much from their children. Wash your hands after you play in the kitty litter. Do not scrub your brother's face with the peanut-butter-and-jelly side of your bread. Keep your tongue off all frozen surfaces, especially swing sets and car door handles. And, considering that every mother endures nine months of bleeding gums, swollen ankles, and upchucking followed by endless hours of unspeakable agony to become a mother, it doesn't seem unreasonable to expect dads and kids to set aside 24 hours to pay tribute to them, does it?

Believe me, though, you can forget any idea of buying Mom off. Money can't compensate for the kind of sacrifice motherhood demands. What Mom wants is some concrete acknowledgment that you do, indeed, appreciate all her work even though you might not mention it the other 364 days of the year. Here are a few ways you can do this:

Serve her breakfast in bed. Chances are Mom cooks 1,095 meals a year--more or less. Surprise her by making breakfast and serving it to her in bed. Nothing makes a woman feel more spoiled than being waited on before she even gets out of bed. If you don't have a fancy tray, use a cookie sheet covered with a (nice!) dish towel. Let the kids make decorations. This is definitely one of those times when the thought and effort count for more than skill.

Make your own cards. Hallmark won't agree with me, but cards that kids (and dads!) create mean more to a mom than anything you can buy in a store with a one-size-fits-all sentiment. Sure, greeting-card writers can probably say it with more finesse, but only you can say what you really mean. Let kids go wild with glitter, glue, construction paper, and markers. She'll love what they come up with.

Spend time together. Do something together as a family. Play Frisbee, visit a museum, walk in the park. Create a Mother's Day tradition. In Vermont, Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream gives every mother a free cone (two if you're expecting). I look forward to that every year.

Give her some room. After you've spent time with Mom give her some time to do something she's been wanting to do but never finds the time for. If there's nowhere she particularly wants to go, draw her a bubble bath, light some candles, put on her favorite music, and lock her in the bathroom for an hour or so. If she ever comes out again, she'll thank you for it.

And about flowers ... Flowers are pretty traditional when it comes to Mother's Day. I think you can go one better, though. Rather than buying her flowers that will be dead in a week, why not buy her wildflower seeds or a living plant? My children planted a butterfly and hummingbird garden for me one year, and every year they buy more seeds to replant it. My husband usually gets me a peony. Flowers or houseplants can be enjoyed all year long and are gentle reminders to Mom that she is appreciated.

Rise up and call her blessed. Every woman in the world secretly aspires to become the Proverbs 31 woman. Begin a tradition this year of reading Proverbs 31 to Mom. Then pray for her. Let each of the children take a turn saying a brief prayer. Conclude by thanking God for giving you such a noble woman. "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" (Proverbs 31:30, NIV).

Texts credited to NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright c 1973, t978, t984, International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

Celeste perrino Walker writes from Rutland, Vermont.