The (UN)Official U.S. Catholic Christmas gift guide! In a Christian conundrum about what to buy friends and family for Christmas this year? Here are some fine ideas for the Jesus freak on your list.

JESUS NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD

Everyone knows clever T-shirts are the trend this year. And with that has come a whole slew of Christian-themed T's as well, most of which are kind of dorky. But this one--"Jesus is my copilot," available at www.DustyBrand.com/shirts/ JesusShirt.html--is actually cool. And for the Jewish guy or gal on your list, they also offer one that says "Hebrew hottie." Unfortunately the shirts do not come with the headless model or the big muscles.

And for the Notre Dame football fan on your list--come on, everybody's got one--check out this offering from www.GameDayTshirt.com that features "New coach, new pope, new era" on the front and "Same old Jesus" on the back. Caution: Both Game Day and Dusty Brand offer many other shirt designs that are PG-13 at best.

YOU'LL BE CONVERTED

RCIA was never this tough! N'Lightning Software came up with this intense video game so that you, too, can "take a stand between good and evil."

Picture it: Rome, A.D. 171. The Roman Empire is controlled by Satan. Your companions have been captured by demon possessed soldiers, and you must save them using the eight swords of the Spirit, each possessing a different power. And don't forget to convert the heathen soldiers! Available from Amazon and many other software retailers.

THIS BIBLE'S ON FIRE!

Literally, flames shoot out of it every time you open it. And then you can shout catchy slogans like: "God's Word is aflame!" or "I'm burning with love for Jesus!" Luckily there are no actual pages in it because that could get messy. Available from Pick Me Products, www.pick-me.com.

THIS ONE ONLY TAKES 100 MINUTES TO READ!

For those who find the thick volume, thin pages, and small print of a regular Bible daunting, here's the answer to your prayers. The Rev. Michael Hinton, an Anglican priest in England, has shortened thousands of years of history into 100 readable minutes!Available at www.the100minutepress.com.

A PLAGUE UPON YOUR PUPPETS

Sometimes the Bible story of the 10 plagues can be scary for kids--but not with these fun finger puppets. Kids will love the adorable felt depictions of lice, boils, blood, and other unpleasantries. Find them at www.oytoys.com.

A BMW FOR EVERYONE!

Pope Benedict XVI just got a snazzy new BMW X5 SUV, so why shouldn't that lucky person on your shopping list have one, too?

Actually, the pope's was donated to him by the BMW corporation for reasons that are hard to figure, except that Bavarian Motor Works can't be very happy that the Bavarian pope's "Popemobile" is a Mercedes.