Testing, Testing . . . Are you guardrail crazy?

You've just read about how guardrails protect cars in crashes-and you're thinking, hey, guardrails are pretty cool. And now when you're in the car with your parents, you point out different guardrails to them and explain what each kind is for. You even know the difference between a strong- and weak-post W-beam. Then you start noticing that you're thinking about guardrails a lot-maybe even all the time. You doodle guardrails in your school notebooks during class, and form guardrails out of your mashed potatoes at dinnertime. Even your dog is giving you worried looks. You've finally gone over the edge-and there aren't any guardrails to hold you back. Guardrail craziness is a scary thing. Take this short quiz to see whether you're on the verge of going guardrail ga-ga.

Give yourself one point for every question you answer "Yes."

You see a car heading toward a guardrail, and you jump in front of it, screaming, "Take me instead!"

* Yes * No

Your parents take you on a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon, and you get hysterical until the pilot agrees to fly over the guardrails.

* Yes * No

You cancel Muse to subscribe to the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation Guardrail Safety Journal.

* Yes * No

Your nightmares all involve giant, big-wheeled Monster Trucks slamming into brave and helpless little guardrails.

* Yes * NO

You hold up your pants with safety belts.

* Yes * No

You're so concerned about the safety of guardrails, that you've invented a guardrailrail to protect them, then a guardrailrailrail, then a . . .

* Yes * No

You beg your parents to adopt a stretch of highway so that guardrails are officially part of your family.

* Yes * No

Score:

0: Didn't you read the article on guardrails? Show a little enthusiasm for the defenders of the American highway system, for goodness' sake!

1-2: You have a healthy, all-American interest in guardrails.

3-5: Your interest is a little feverish. You should take an aspirin and lie down. A cold, wet towel on your forehead wouldn't hurt, either.

6-7: Look, guardrails aren't alive or anything. They're just pieces of metal, metal, do you hear me? Call a psychiatrist or your local traffic safety inspector right now to get help for your guardrail insanity!

© 2007 Carus Publishing Company Provided by ProQuest LLC. All Rights Reserved.