Talking to teens about drugs important this time of year.

Byline: STRAIGHT STUFF By Jerry Gjesvold For The Register-Guard

It's prom and graduation season, when parents face the task of reminding their teenagers once again that alcohol and drugs are off limits. Any parent who has had this talk - and I'm one of them - will tell you it's one of their most difficult jobs.

That's not surprising. Proms and graduations are major milestones, and emotions are high. Young people naturally want to assert their independence. At the same time, they're susceptible to peer pressure, and inexperience can lead to poor decisions. Power struggles with adults always play a major role.

Parents have their own history, too. They may regret their own poor choices and - with good reason - don't want their children doing what they did. They may feel ambivalent or hypocritical, and their teenagers can use those feelings to get what they want.

Still, sometime in the next few weeks, most parents will make a go of it. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

First, address the situation directly. Don't let your discomfort stop you. Should anything bad happen - as it will, sadly, to a few teenagers this year - you'll want to know you did your part to prevent it. It's that important.

Once you sit down, talk honestly about your concerns. Even if your children roll their eyes, remind them how important they are, how you just want them to be safe, and of your commitment to keeping them that way. Tell them you expect to know where they're going and with whom. Remind them that you'll come get them any time they feel unsafe - no questions asked. Call parents who are hosting parties and ask questions.

Be clear with your children about what's acceptable. Be clear, as well, about the sanctions you'll impose for alcohol and drug use. School counselors and other helping professionals can offer suggestions. Remember, it's not a debate, and be ready to follow through.

At the same time, offer positive reinforcement for the behavior you want to encourage. Most young people want to do the right thing, but peer influence is undeniable. One way to help them resist that pressure is to offer a reward for refusing alcohol or drugs when offered.

After all, if they can tell their peers that if they don't drink or use drugs they'll get two tickets to a U2 concert, or clothes they really like, even a trip, they will have a sensible reason to resist the temptation. What their friends think is incredibly important to them - and some of those friends will wish their parents would make the same offer.

These days, it's not that rare for teens to be in recovery. If they're working in a program, they're getting important support. And parents involved in Al-Anon (the program for families and friends of alcoholics) help each other as well. Make use of all the resources available to you and your son or daughter.

Talking about alcohol and other drugs with young people is rarely easy, and never more difficult than at this time of year. Still, it is a parent's responsibility, and there are proven techniques that work. Be clear about the sanctions, but even more about the rewards. You'll have done what you needed to do. The rest is truly up to them.

The opinions expressed in this column are those of the writer. As Serenity Lane's statewide coordinator of employer services, Jerry Gjesvold helps companies create and manage their drug-free workplace policies. More information is available on the Serenity Lane Web site at www.serenitylane .org.