Talkin' 'bout his generation.

Like most of the 25-year-olds we've spoken to, Rufus Wainwright has a mind of his own.

The only son of folksingers Loudon Wainwright III and Kate McGarrigle, Rufus Wainwright may claim to have sprung from "a typical gay family: single mother, three sisters, heavy-duty matriarchy," but he's hardly a typical gay 25-year-old. Soon after releasing his debut album on David Geffen's DreamWorks label, the young singer-songwriter has this year found himself compared to his heroes--not

Kurt Cobain or Tupac Shakur but Cole Porter and Noel Coward, men whose refined craftsmanship watts high above the decade's defining realists.

Accordingly, WainWright doesn't think like the archetypal Gen Xer. He's ambitious and romantic--an old-fashioned aesthete who wants to create the operas of tomorrow with the musical intricacy of yesteryear. And because his ideas about gay identity aren't exactly PC, this Montreal-born, Los Angeles-based maestro may disappoint gay-pride zealots despite the fact that he's probably the most overtly gay, overtly talented pop renegade since lcd.lang.

Is he the great gay hope of future cabaret? Or just the latest recipient of mainstream-targeted hype? The Advocate investigates.

When did you notice gayness in yourself?

I remember pining for a brother desperately. I had these odd dreams about finding a little-brother egg in the forest. I think there was a hole in myself that needed to be filled by men in general. I didn't know many. Later I thought about women, but never sexually. It was in a highly romantic context--saving them from burning buildings dressed as a marine. But then the women would turn into chicks with dicks, and I started noticing the men around me.

Right around that time, AIDS came on the scene. How do you feel that's affected you?

For me and my generation, AIDS has fucked up a lot of things. If you're not totally healthy-looking, totally buffed, it's a problem. I came out of the closet when I was 14 and felt discriminated against because I wasn't an athletic type.

This was during my mad sexual awakening--I had to have sex and did for one summer. Then I didn't have sex for five years because I was sure I had AIDS and was going to die, even though I'd had safe sex. I was tested for the first time only very recently, and I was fine.

I've been very tempted to have unsafe sex because things haven't gotten any better or easier. My attitude is to go only with someone whom I really want to be close with and decide to have unsafe sex if we're committed to each other. I think that could be very meaningful, and that's where I'm putting my money. I'm not the type to have a boyfriend for having a boyfriend. I can't do that I have to fall in love all the way.

Is being gay for you more than sex?

I've had sex with straight men--quite a bit, actually. A lot of them are curious about it, like a onetime thing. But I think there's something in being a gay man, although I don't know what it is. I don't think of being gay in those "We have to be proud, happy, and perfect and have day jobs and families" '90s terms. For me, being gay means being one who usually gets the rotten side of the stick but who can handle it a little better, someone who sees life through a slightly different tint.

How do you feel connected to gay people?

In a weird way I feel more connected to straight people. I find what I do to be more useful in that milieu. I have certain gay friends I really love and feel a camaraderie with, but I've always had a better time hanging out in a straight place because it's not about sex.

Are you in a relationship?

I've never been in a relationship. One of the problems of being in the straight world is that you fall in love with people. I fell in love with a straight guy for years and obsessed about him. He was a drug addict, and I took care of him.

Was he one of those straight guys you had sex with?

We did it once, but it wasn't very good. We would sleep together naked and kiss for hours, and I was completely satisfied with it for some reason. He was so beautiful. He always had ten or 12 girls surrounding him. He would come to me when he wanted to escape the constant fight over him. He needed to not have sex with someone, and that would have to be a man. It was kind of a brotherly thing. It was beautiful, actually.

Do you have an affinity for other gay artists?

With dead gay artists, yeah, like Cole Porter, Tchaikovsky. I admire another era of gay men because it was so much more difficult back then, and they pulled it off with such style and intelligence. The more oppressed you are and the more hopeless it seems, the more you take off into fantasyland. The more the government gives you things, the more boring you become. I'd much prefer that we create for ourselves. I do believe in fighting for equal benefits, and I totally want to get married, but not in a church. We should create our own kind of marriage.

Do you feel as though you have any living peers?

I don't know any. I have very high standards. I'm not gonna like someone just because they're gay.

Are there any gay issues that you feel particularly strong about?

Drug abuse. I've done a lot of drugs, and I'm not sober or AA. But I've always had a strong family network, I've always had something to come back to. Drugs can create a dangerous environment for people emotionally, especially crystal meth. I've done it twice, and it was crazy sexually but also horrifying and compromising, and I wanted it again immediately. Being in L.A. for two years, I've seen lots of it. So many of the great clubs are gay. We open up these establishments and leave people hanging, and I find that irresponsible. There should be somewhere to go afterward, some support group.

Where do you think you'll be in 25 years' time?

I'm of the opinion that things are going to get a lot worse with the world before they get better. I'm a bit of an Armageddon type, so I just hope to be alive and healthy. That's all.

What's your role in all of this end-of-millennium stuff?.

To entertain the troops.

What are you proudest of besides your music?

You mean my personality? God, I can't stand myself, I really can't. In a weird way I'm proud that I'm sticking it out in terms of relationships and that I've waited. [Pauses] What am I talking about? That's nothing to be proud of. I'm just proud of my work. That's all. That and my figure! [Laughs]