Talk it like you walk it!

Is your tongue in tune with your actions, or is it tripping you into trouble?

You're psyched to join your buds for some mallin'. "When will you be home?" Mom asks as you head out. "Early," you promise. So how come she grounds you when you cruise in at 7:30 p.m.? Because in The Official Mom Manual, "early," is like 4:30, so you broke your word. In your mind, though, you were in before prime time TV, so what's up? Cut the chaos by communicating more dearly. Once you unmix your messages, people will see you as dependable and mature. How cool is that?

TIP 1 SAY WHATCHA WANT

After school, your BFF says, "Wanna go see Elektra tomorrow night?" You shrug and say, "Whatever." Next day, you're flopped in front of That's So Raven when your bud calls from the ticket line at the movies, freaking 'cause you stood her up.

The prob? "Whatever" is a fuzzy response. You said it as, "maybe." Your friend heard it as, "yes." What was really buzzin' through your brain? You were dying to make like a yam and veg after a tough week at school but didn't want to turn your friend down flat. So you kinda went along with her idea ... and kinda didn't. Next time, shoot straight. Say, "Can I pass? I'm wiped after cramming for that history test." No hard feelings.

TIP 2 FOLLOW THROUGH

Your dad pops his head into your room and reminds you to take out the trash. "I will," you tell him. Two secs later, your crush Josh calls. You get so wrapped up talking to him that an hour goes by ... and the garbage is waiting and Dad is beyond bent out of shape.

When you tell your 'rents you're gonna do something and it doesn't happen, you not only risk getting them upset, you risk them seeing you as flaky. The flakier they figure you are, the less cool stuff they're going to let you do (like, actually go somewhere with Josh). Your smart move? Tell your crush you'll call him back in two minutes, and trash that trash like you told Dad you would.

TIP 3 KEEP IT REAL

You're surfing the Web, and your little sister keeps bugging you to play Barbies with her. "Later," you tell her--but when later comes, you head out to Burger King with your buds. You know what, though? Your words have a big impact on the people who look up to you--yep, on this one little person in particular.

Put yourself in her light-up sneaks for a sec. Don't you want her to feel she's important to you? Of course! So next time, tell her, "I'll play with you right after breakfast." Then, play with her right after breakfast! Your little sis will learn she can truly count on you.

TIP 4 CHOOSE WORDS WISELY

You really like that sweet old lady who lives two doors down, and her dog is cool too. So when she was sick, you took him for a spin around the block. She thanked you, and you said, "Oh, I'm happy to walk him anytime!"

When you said, "anytime," you didn't mean it literally. But she now expects you to brave the winter chill before school, after school and after dinner every day. Yikes! You've got school, buds and extracurriculars to squeeze into your life. What you should have said is, "I'm happy to help whenever I can." Too late for that, so how can you get some space while saving face? Tell her your schedule has picked up and that you'll come by when you have downtime. Nice!