Taking time to teach social skills.

Amy hits Monica as they sit on the floor during story time. Monica begins to cry. The teacher enters the social conflict, reprimanding Amy and sending her to "time out" as punishment for her inappropriate behavior. After comforting Monica, the teacher begins the story, while Amy sits in angry isolation.

This is a typical scenario in many preschool and primary classrooms. On the surface, this action may seem appropriate. Amy learns that when she hits, she will be punished. Furthermore, this time-efficient practice allows the teacher to get on with "teaching."

Although punishment (such as "time out") may play a small part in moral development (distinguishing right from wrong), it does not support social development. Punishment is too often used for class management rather than moral development. Gartrell (1987b) suggests that "punishment does not guide children toward behavior the adult considers right, and does not ensure that children understand what they are to do and how it is to be done". Practices that influence children's behavior by simply rewarding good and punishing bad (i.e., "time out," assertive discipline) merely enlist the child in low levels of moral development (Kamii, 1984). The socialization process should be deeper than just obedience to outside forces. It should encourage children's intrinsic acceptance of prosocial values (Grusec & Arnason, 1982).

Practices such as "time out" should be readdressed by every teacher of young children. "Time out" is a "dead end" for young children at the threshold of social development. They are wrestling with egocentrism, limited knowledge of social interaction and emerging social skills. Yet, educators are relying on management tools (i.e., punishment) to control children for the "greater good" of establishing an environment conducive to academic growth. In so doing, we have undermined the whole child philosophy by making social and moral learning subservient to academics. Isn't it time we readjusted our focus back to the child by committing our time to guiding and nurturing social and moral development?

Qualitative research in the field of emergent literacy documents the developmental process of how children learn to read and write. Children generally begin writing with drawings, then move to letter-like graphemes, next to strings of letters and then to letter representations of sound.

A teacher aware of this developmental process can celebrate the child's literacy successes along a continuum of skills, praising and nurturing each step. This process of continual and successful growth bolsters the child's sense of competence and self-esteem. The wise teacher supports this process by providing a rich literate environment, a multitude of literacy experiences and the gift of time, allowing the child to construct his/her own knowledge of what it means to read and write. The teacher nurtures the child's understanding of what is to be done and how to do it in the literate world.

Unfortunately, the practical impact of this emergent literacy research has not overflowed to the equally important field of social and moral learning. The informed teacher knows that children who write strings of letters will eventually make letter approximations for sounds and will then progress to using fingerspacing between words. If we changed the literacy model to reflect the current practice of addressing social-moral development, we would be giving points only for fingerspace. In so doing, we would deny children the opportunity to construct their own knowledge of writing.

The enlightened teacher knows that, like writing, social and moral development is also a process. Teachers can celebrate children's social and moral successes along a continuum of skills, praising and nurturing each step, just as in writing. The wise teacher will support this process by providing a rich social environment, multiple social experiences and the gift of time, allowing the child to construct what it means to be social and moral. The teacher nurtures the child's understanding of what is to be done and how to do it in the social and moral world.

In the literacy model, children have opportunities to read and write in play and content-area centers. Thus, the environment is arranged to support literacy development. Likewise, the environment should be arranged to support social and moral development. Children should participate in play and cooperative learning groups that provide a context for social learning.

The writing process is modeled daily through language experience charts, story writing and class journals that illustrate the concepts of print representing meaning, letters for sounds, fingerspacing and punctuation. Fairness, kindness, cooperation and sharing can also be modeled daily in the classroom. Empathy can be nurtured by caring for those who are physically or emotionally hurt. Demonstrations of a pat or an encouraging word enhance social and moral learning.

Individual writing conferences give the teacher the opportunity not only to reinforce what has been learned, but also to listen to the child. The teacher thus gains insight into the child's understanding of the writing process and learns how to help the child progress successfully. Conferring about a child's social and moral development can be done informally as the child plays or works, particularly when a child plays or works, particularly when a child is engaged in a social or moral conflict. These informal conferences give the teacher the opportunity to reinforce positive social skills and also provide insight into the child's social and moral development.

The teacher should apply the same patience to this social process as to the writing process. A teacher who understands the developmental nature of writing does not react with anger or frustration when a child does not attain a goal immediately. Rather, the teacher allows children time to reach goals at their own developmental rate. Social and moral learning should be addressed from the same understanding, thus removing the anger and frustration a teacher may feel when a child does not quickly acquire expected social skills. Each conflict should be viewed as an opportunity to teach and guide the child.

Returning to the Amy and Monica confrontation, we should see this as a learning opportunity for Amy. Instead of separating Amy from the social process, we should include Amy and support her social learning.

* First, we can help Amy empathize with Monica. Empathy is a universal process for early moral development (Emde, Johnson & Easterbrooks, 1987; Emde & Buchsbaum, 1990). If we remove Amy to a "time out," we cannot nurture her development of empathy.

* Second, Amy can offer an unforced "I'm sorry," a social skill of reconciliation.

* Finally, Amy can participate in altruistic (helping) behavior by patting Monica or offering a kind word.

In this process, Amy has practiced healthy social skills, although her understanding may come later in her development. She is able to redeem her self-esteem through reconciliation, rather than sitting in isolation with anger or shame. This procedure takes time, but the alternative is to remove Amy from the process of social and moral development.

I have seen this procedure work with one of my students. Thomas frequently resorted to hitting as a resolution to his problems. Initially, I placed Thomas in "time out" where he sat enveloped by anger and hostility. I quickly realized this treatment was not appropriate for Thomas. In future incidents, I walked Thomas through the procedure described. By giving Thomas time to construct his social understanding, I found the incidents became fewer and fewer. When a hitting incident did occur, I could eventually stand back and watch Thomas initiate the process of reconciliation. Another step in his developmental social learning was the use of words instead of physical action. Thomas and I celebrated his social growth just as we did his growth in literacy. Documenting this growth impressed upon me the importance of nurturing each child's social development, rather than simply resorting to "managing" the class.

We should not be using management tools primarily designed to restrain behavior that would "keep me from teaching." We should, instead, redesign the classroom and allow ourselves to teach social skills and nurture moral development. We should be guiding children toward positive social behaviors and moral understanding, helping them understand what they are to do and how to do it, rather than isolating them from the process through the overuse of punishment. As teachers of young children, we must commit our time to the process of social and moral learning. If we don't take the time now, when will we?

References

Buzzelli, C. A. (1992). Young children's moral understanding: Learning about right and wrong. Young Children, 47(6), 47-53.

Emde, R. N., & Buchsbaum, H. K. (1990). "Didn't you hear my mommy?" Autonomy with connectedness in moral self emergence. In D. Cicchetti & M. Beeghly (Eds.), The self in transition: Infancy to childhood (pp. 35-60). Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Emde, R. N., Johnson, W. F., & Easterbrooks, M. A. (1987). The do's and don'ts of early moral development: Psychoanalytic tradition and current research. In J. Kagan & S. Lamb (Eds.), The emergence of morality in young children (pp. 245-276). Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Gartrell, D. (1987a). Assertive discipline: Unhealthy for children and other living things. Young Children, 42(2), 10-11.

Gartrell, D. (1987b). Punishment or guidance. Young Children, 42(2), 55-61.

Grusec, J. E., & Arnason, L. (1982). Consideration for others: Approaches to enhancing altruism. In S. G. Moore & C. R. Cooper (Eds.), The young child: Reviews of research Vol. III (pp. 159-174). Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children.)

Hitz, R. (1988). Assertive discipline: A response to Lee Canter. Young Children, 43(2), 25-26.

Kamii, C. (1984). Viewpoint: Obedience is not enough. Young Children, 39(4), 11-14.

Kostelnik, M. J., Stein, L. C., Whiren, A. P., & Soderman, A. K. (1988). Guiding children's social development. Cincinnati, OH: South-Western.

Miller, D. S. (1984). Building self-control: Discipline for young children. Young Children, 39(6), 15-19.

Morrow, L. M. (1989). Literacy development in the early years: Helping children read and write. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.

Sandra J. Stone is Assistant Professor, Elementary and Early Childhood Education, Indiana State University, Terre Haute.