Take a breath: how to de-stress your way to managerial success. (Feature Article).

There is a rhythm to breathing. The more deeply and slowly you breathe, the more relaxed you feel. Dealing with problems becomes easier. The rhythm changes when you are stressed. Anger or frustration can be the resulting consequence for a tense leader dealing with challenging issues.

Kevin Cashman, in his book Leadership From the Inside Out: Becoming a Leader for Life, quotes Paul Walsh, chairman and CEO of Pillsbury: "The missing link in leadership development is growing the person to grow the leader." The issue of dealing with stress is not the mastery of something external to ourselves. It is the mastery of ourselves. What are the options that leaders have regarding the mastery of internal reflection and as a benefit of this lifelong exercise, managing stress in their jobs?

Life After 5:00 p.m.

Are you desperate to finish one more work-related item as 5:00 p.m. comes and goes? Are there ten crises brewing which need your undivided attention? Or, are you the wise leader who understands that there is time, indeed, to stop and rebalance yourself?

Each of us needs replenishment. This replenishment comes only if we give it to ourselves. Eating healthy foods, exercising to release tension, having fun, and relaxation all bring balance and focus to the leader's life.

If you are ready to replenish yourself, calendar it! There is nothing more important than the meeting you have regularly with yourself.

Self-unaware/Self-aware

A common thread that weaves itself through the leadership seminars that I teach is the frustration and stress that attendees feel in their positions. The leader who is self-unaware perceives that he is stuck in a job, which causes unhappiness and helplessness. He feels unable to help himself out of his circumstance and sees no inner resources to change his condition. That blind eye to himself becomes his demise.

The leader who is self-aware understands that there are choices and opportunities for growth as long as he is honest, gentle yet disciplined with himself, and seeks tools to create change.

Take a timeout for yourself. Get out of your own way and view yourself from a different angle.

A Contract With Yourself

One of the hardest things for a human being to do is to change a behavior. As leaders, do we ask our staff to change their behavior? Do they receive disciplinary actions if they don't? Do we expect the same from ourselves? Perhaps it is the leader who should receive a warning for not modeling self-reflection. The leader does not always live up to the expectations that are imposed on subordinates. Shift your perception. We are all on an even playing field; subordinates are truly peers in the behavioral sense, growing and changing their behavior with your guidance, which ultimately improves the organization.

If you are willing to acknowledge that urge within you to change, pull out a piece of paper. Taking a risk faces your weaknesses and helps you grow as both a person and a leader.

Write "A Contract for Success" at the top of the paper. This contract is made with yourself. Ask yourself what behavior can be improved upon or completely overhauled.

Next, write "Statement of Goals." This is where to define what is to be changed. I chose to become a patient person. Keep your goals simple and to the point.

The next section, "Skills to Develop," lists the skills you need to improve or develop this behavior. In the learning curve of becoming patient, I needed to learn to accept other people's perceptions. That helped teach me to be patient when situations of disagreement arose.

Finally, create a section called "Actions to Take." What will you do to alter your behavior? I decided that I had to decrease the stress with which I lived. Exercise, breathing when I felt aggressive, and beginning my day with meditation and good nutrition helped to create a more patient me. Consider some of my de-stressors and come up with some of your own. Incorporate those that suit you into this section.

Developing Proficiency 

Practice! If you were learning how to play tennis, the one thing that would make you a better tennis player would be practice. If you are diligent and truly committed to improving or creating this behavior, practice these new skills, though they may be uncomfortable at first. Consider what happens when you finally win the tennis match-and don't forget to breathe! NH

Claudia S. Blumenstock, NHA, is executive vice-president of Living Communities, LLC, a senior development company, and principal of Copernicus, a consulting firm based in Rochester, New York. For further information, phone [phone]. To comment on this article, send e-mail to [e-mail].