TV critic: Here we go again!
OH GAWD, it's that time of year again.
Just when you thought it was safe to turn on the telly or pick up certain newspapers, Big Brother comes along and shakes it all up.
Life will never be the same again.
For an entire summer we will be drowning in Big Brother mania.
It will dominate the TV with round-the-clock viewing, kiss-and-tell stories will appear in the Press about all the contestants, and work colleagues and friends will speak of nothing else.
If you were considering boycotting it, don't bother, it will be all you will see and hear for the next 13 weeks.
As usual, Big Brother has once again extracted an unusual mix of human beings.
There's a blind man, a Buddhist and an albino, as well as Big Brother's first real-life couple.
Then there is cookie monster Kathreya, who is completely off-the-wall.
Fireworks look set to fly after Big Bro told couple Lisa and Mario they have to pretend they have never met while Mario (who changed his name from Sean) has to convince other house-mates that blonde bombshell Stephanie is really his partner.
Lisa is a self-confessed jealous type so how will she feel when her boyfriend and a stranger start flirting?
And she is going to hit the roof when BB tells the gang Mario and Stephanie are going to get married on tomorrow's show.
All the contestants will think they are wedding for real, including the unsuspecting pair.
Me thinks this is a task they are going to fail.
Davina McCall returned as the BB presenter and was bouncing around the stage like Zebedee.
The woman is totally manic.
Some house-mates are already rubbing the audience up the wrong way.
And that was before they had even stepped into the house.
Alexandra, who apparently is famous in Croydon. Famous for what, I wonder? Cue some kiss-andtell stories in the celeb mags I reckon.
She didn't go down too well with the live audience, who booed her as soon as she emerged out of the car.
Alexandra appears to have an ego the size of the BB house and clearly she thinks she is as famous as Croydon's most famous export, Kate Moss.
She'll soon come down to earth when she has to compete against 14 other people.
There is always a North-Easterner in the ranks.
This year it's glamour model Jennifer, a Catholic from Chester-le-Street who hates ladettes and is against smoking and abortion.
She is quite opinionated so I doubt she will hide her feelings if someone starts to rile her.
I reckon she and party girl Rachel Rice might clash.
Apparently, the 24-year-old really gets going after a few drinks and is the lifeand-soul of the party.
This behaviour is bound to upset Luke, who is 20 going on 70, and doesn't drink, smoke or swear. He's not going to last long.
He does have a whiff of George Formby about him so at least he will provide entertainment value.
Let the games begin!!!
I can't end this column without mentioning this week's Trinny and Susannah show.
Part of this show was filmed in Gateshead. For those of you who got involved, why?
Why oh why was it aired?
What was the point?
A group of naked people 'in celebration of their bodies' high on a hill top making an outline of a man's body, complete with genitals.
It was utter rubbish and totally pointless.
THE LINE-UP - contestants (left-right) Lisa, Mario, Sylvia, Luke, Rebecca, Alexandra, Rex, Stephanie. Darnell, Dennis, Rachel, Kathreya, Michael, Jennifer, Mohamed and Dale; OPINIONS - Chesterl e-Street's Jennifer