TURKEY DAY TIME TO EAT, NOT WORRY.

Byline: MARIEL GARZA

I don't mean to alarm you or anything, but today, when you sit down at the Thanksgiving table, WHATEVER YOU DO, BE CAREFUL!

Sorry, I'm a little on edge. This year we've all been inundated with so much ``helpful'' information from health officials about avian flu and its ``inevitable'' march across the globe killing millions of people and changing civilization as we know it. And then we're supposed to suddenly forget it on the fourth Thursday of November and sit down en masse to blithely chow down on a big bird?

Well, yes. That was my plan anyhow. I hadn't even made the connection between the bird flu and the country's national day of gluttony until I noticed this chirpy headline in the Missourian News earlier this week:

``Forget bird flu and enjoy the holidays,'' it said.

Ha ha ... What?

I hadn't even thought about bird-flu cooties in my turkey until I read that. No wonder people don't like the news.

Officially, of course, authorities from the federal government and health agencies say there's no reason to worry about the deadly avian flu in the U.S. poultry quite yet.

I called up a friend who works for the U.S. Department of Agriculture to see if I could get the real lowdown. Are turkeys really safe? She set my mind at ease that I was safe from this particular strain of bird flu (there are others; they just aren't real dangerous) unless I flew to China, bought a random turkey, brought it home and then drank a cup of its raw blood. In that case, I would probably have more serious problems than catching the flu.

Still, according to a recent poll by a group I have never heard of and have no reason to trust, half of the more than 1,000 Americans questioned said they thought they can get avian flu from eating chicken. I don't know why the Center of Consumer Freedom, which seems to be mainly focused on fighting the ``food cops,'' commissioned this poll, but it sounds right. So, in the great American journalistic tradition, I will believe it based on that.

None of this hype has been lost on the animal-rights folks.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, PETA, seized on the bird flu to ramp up its holiday don't-eat-the-animals campaigns. The group held a protest in Washington, D.C., in front of the USDA offices with signs that said ``Bird flu kills. Go vegetarian''

So far, Americans aren't worried enough to switch to the soy-bean faux bird, Tofurkey. Turkey sales are on target, according to Alice Johnson, president of the National Turkey Federation.

``Turkey sales are great, right on par for the holiday season,'' Johnson told me Wednesday, although she acknowledged that numbers for this year are still tentative. Last year, 46 million turkeys were sold for Thanksgiving dinners, and the Turkey Federation (Web site, eatturkey.com) expects a similar figure this year.

Christmas, though, might be a different story. As I write this, CNN is broadcasting another story about yet another case of someone with bird flu in China. Might be a good time to buy some soybean futures.

Mariel Garza

mariel.garza(at)dailynews.com