TROJANS LOSE OUT TO ROTC?

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

Are the rumors true that Notre Dame is considering dropping USC from this annual rivalry football game because, in its effort to seek and destroy every armed service academy team this nation prides itself on building, there's a contract on the table to add a home- and-home series with the Coast Guard street-league squad, the Cal Poly Pomona ROTC and the Arizona Minutemen?

For this morning's edition of ESPN's ``College GameDay'' outside the Coliseum, does anyone have the resources to out-do and Hollywood-up the sign-on-a- stick that appeared amidst the drunken crowd on an earlier show and claimed ``Charlie Weis is the devil love child of Rosie O'Donnell and Jabba the Hutt''?

If, as some believe, John David Booty is better than Matt Leinart -- since he's supposedly winning with a less-talented cast around him -- why wasn't the little rootie-tootie included in the final three (with N.D.'s Brady Quinn, Ohio State's Troy Smith and Hawaii's Colt Brennan) for the Davey O'Brien National Quarterback Award?

If they're stuck on an Ohio State-Michigan, ``Rocky''-like replay in the championship game, wouldn't a far better sequel be USC against Arkansas in the Rose Bowl? Or, if USC climbs into the title game against the Buckeyes, a Notre Dame- Michigan rematch in Pasadena?

If USC beats Notre Dame and sends Michigan slipping down the polls, how proud will the Wolverines then be of those non-conference wins against Central Michigan, Ball State (barely) and Vanderbilt?

If 32-year-old Gary Matthews Jr. is somehow worth five years and $50million to the Angels as their new leadoff man and center fielder, why is this his eighth team relocation since 1999?

If 29-year-old Juan Pierre is somehow worth five years and $44 million to the Dodgers as their new leadoff man and center fielder, why is this his fourth employer since 2000?

And how did outfield-shy Alfonso Soriano suddenly become OK with slamming into ivy-covered brick walls, after the Cubs will give him $136 million to do so?

Wouldn't you like to know more about Justin Morneau before you make him the AL MVP? How much more did Joe Mauer have to do to earn it?

If no one saw the Denver-Kansas City NFL game on TV Thursday night, did it really happen?

Have the Broncos finally given up trying to unclog their season with an overpaid Plummer?

Now that Dallas has knocked Indianapolis from the unbeaten list and then thrashed Tampa Bay within a five-day span, do the teams that now fear playing the Cowboys have to consider themselves Romo-phobic?

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