TOO HARD TO HANDLE HELPING CHILDREN UNDERSTAND DIFFICULT SIGHTS, SOUNDS OF 9/11.

Byline: Valerie Kuklenski Staff Writer

For anyone watching television five years ago Monday, the images were shocking and deeply disturbing. Seeing them again as the anniversary of Sept. 11 is marked can reawaken those same horrific fears in any viewer.

But what about children, those who may have been too young at the time to take in the significance of the terrorist attacks, but now may be old enough to begin exploring this history lesson?

Expert opinions vary on what age is appropriate to begin discussion about the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Washington, D.C. But most agree that children in elementary school should be sheltered from the most vivid footage of the events.

``I would prefer that preschool and elementary children actually not watch anything (depicting 9/11) on TV. It becomes real to everyone and then it's too hard to handle,'' says Charlotte Reznick, an educational psychologist and associate clinical professor at UCLA. ``If you want to use it as a history lesson to tell what happened five years ago, I would much prefer talking about it without pictures.''

Much of the TV programming airing through Monday contains graphic images, including the documentary ``9/11,'' by Gedeon and Jules Naudet, with footage of the trade center collapsing from inside the structure, suicide jumpers and seriously injured survivors.

However, there are some 9/11 programs tailored to young viewers, among them TLC's ``Camp 9/11: Children of Hope,'' about children who lost a parent that day and now share their experiences at a special camp; and the Disney Channel movie ``Tiger Cruise,'' about a Navy daughter who accepts an invitation for a family cruise with her dad, and then is caught up in his aircraft carrier's response to 9/11. Both have aired recently, and ``Tiger Cruise'' is available on DVD.

Los Angeles psychologist Robert Butterworth says one factor of 9/11 that parents must keep in mind is that the problem causing the fear and uneasiness has not been resolved.

Because of the continuing threat of terrorism, he says, parents should at least discuss the attacks with children as young as 10 in order to help them understand new developments, such as the recently foiled British plot, and also to help them face whatever lies ahead.

``9/11 is not an isolated incident,'' Butterworth said. ``You have to deal with the fact that it may not be over. So that's one of the reasons why you have to educate kids about what happened and what could happen.''

Laurel Murray of Westlake Village said her children, Rowena, now 16, and Duncan, 11, were aware of the attacks when they happened because it was Rowena who first heard about it on the radio.

She is sure they will see some 9/11 anniversary coverage in the coming days but is uncertain whether it will spark discussions about terrorism.

``I think terrorism is something that is so beyond frightening that they compartmentalize it and they don't deal with it,'' Murray said.

``I think back to the air raid drills we used to do when we were kids,'' she said. ``That was sort of a fun thing. I never felt threatened when we did that.

``This is so different. They are inundated with television, and they're encouraged to read newspapers. There really is no escaping it except in their own little minds where they can tuck it away and worry about what they're having for lunch.''

Butterworth said the anniversary should be used as a teaching tool, at home if not in classrooms.

``The images have to be curtailed, but the information shouldn't be.''

He said younger children won't understand broader issues of terrorism, but they might dwell on specifics, such as questions about the pain 9/11 victims suffered from falling or being in a fire.

``They don't have censors on what they're afraid of,'' Butterworth said. ``With older kids, teenagers, you get a different reaction. You're not going to get so much trauma and shock. You're going to get anger.''

Teens are likely to accuse adults of not doing enough to make the world less dangerous.

``And you say, `Maybe you're right. Maybe you have to get more involved and make it a better world because we haven't.' Teenagers react more to things, like, `What can we do?' It's more anger and action than fear and contemplation,'' he said.

Reznick and Butterworth agree that children of all ages who are concerned about the attacks may benefit from even small gestures, such as writing a letter or drawing a picture for children in New York City who were directly affected by 9/11 or, for older students, discussing cultural differences with an aim of greater understanding.

An airline trip can also be a positive lesson, as ever tighter security measures illustrate authorities' efforts to keep passengers safe.

``The answers aren't that easy,'' Butterworth said. ``The old psychobabble -- you just reassure them everything's OK and nothing can happen -- you can't say that exactly. -- We have to be careful about making things sound so good that, if something happens, the kids feel betrayed by what their parents said.''

``You don't want to tell your kids not to be afraid,'' Reznick adds. ``You want to listen to them when it comes up. You want to be a container for their feelings. If you listen to them, they can move on.''

Valerie Kuklenski, [phone]

[e-mail]

9/11 TV programs, ratings

Television programs marking the fifth anniversary can enlighten viewers with history lessons about the Sept. 11 attacks, or can stir up uneasy feelings. Here are descriptions to assist in deciding which are appropriate for your family or students, with network-assigned ratings where available.

For a detailed explanation of ratings, visit www.tvguidelines.org.

``Flight 93'' (9 tonight, A&E). Before the theatrical feature ``United 93'' came this dramatization of the passengers who decided their own fate by diverting their Washington-bound hijacked plane into a Pennsylvania field. (TVPG:V)

``California Connected'' (8:30 p.m. Friday, KCET). One segment deals with homeland security and civil liberties and asks the question, ``Are we safer now than we were five years ago?''

``The Flight That Fought Back'' (9 p.m. Friday, Discovery). Another dramatization of United 93. (TV14:V)

``The Man Who Predicted 9/11'' (9 p.m. Friday, History Channel). Actual footage and re-enactments tell the story of Rick Rescorla, the security chief for Morgan Stanley who developed an evacuation plan for his company following the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and successfully led thousands out of the towers before dying in the collapse. (TVPG:L)

``Grounded on 9/11'' (10 p.m. Friday and 7 p.m. Sunday, History Channel). This documentary re- enacts the Federal Aviation Administration's efforts that day to halt all commercial and private aviation, an unprecedented decision, in the wake of multiple airliner hijackings.

``Metal of Honor'' (9 a.m. Saturday, Spike TV). Metal workers, many of whom helped raise the Twin Towers in the early '70s, returned to the site to help break down the twisted steel and remove it to aid recovery efforts. (TV14)

``The Anatomy of September 11th'' (4 p.m. Saturday, A&E). A documentary created with research and reporting by The New York Times staff details the final 102 minutes of the World Trade Center. (TVPG)

``In the Footsteps of bin Laden'' (4 and 7 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, CNN). Correspondent Christiane Amanpour interviews several friends and relatives of Osama bin Laden. The program ends ominously with a reminder that bin Laden remains free and is operating under a Muslim cleric's fatwa permitting him to kill as many as 10 million civilians. (Unrated, but CNN warns of images that may be inappropriate for some viewers. CNN.com's education section has discussion questions.)

``Trapped in the Towers: The Elevators of 9/11'' (8 p.m. Saturday and midnight Sunday, A&E). While hundreds perished instantly in the elevator shafts of the Twin Towers, a few survived and tell their stories in this documentary, which uses news footage and vivid graphics. (TVPG)

``Inside the Twin Towers'' (9 p.m. Saturday, Discovery). It relies on emergency transmissions, phone calls and survivors' accounts to depict what went on inside the trade center. (TV14:LV)

``World Trade Center: Rise and Fall of an American Icon'' (9 p.m. Saturday, History Channel). Through historic footage and interviews, this special examines the headline-grabbing development and construction of the super-skyscrapers and the way they rapidly succumbed to the intense heat of jet fuel fires. (TVPG)

``On Native Soil'' (6 p.m. Sunday, Court TV). This compelling documentary sums up the findings of the 9/11 Commission, with graphic footage of the attacks. (TV14)

``9/11'' (8 p.m. Sunday, CBS). The documentary by French brothers Jules and Gedeon Naudet, likely the definitive historic video record of the attacks on the World Trade Center, takes viewers inside the towers as frightened victims above the plane crashes began leaping to their deaths, then depicts the collapse of the towers. It captures grisly injuries and the desperate fear many were experiencing, and will air this third time with no edits for spontaneous profanities. (TV14:L)

``The Path to 9/11'' (8 p.m. Sunday and Monday, ABC). This six-hour miniseries, starring Harvey Keitel, Donnie Wahlberg and Amy Madigan, reaches back to the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center and various terrorist plots leading to Sept. 11. It includes images of combat in Afghanistan, suicide bombings, planes crashing and the South Tower falling. Based on the 9/11 Commission report and former ABC newsman John Miller's book ``The Cell,'' it has been criticized by some as focusing the blame for Osama bin Laden's success on the Clinton administration while all but absolving the Bush administration. (TV14:V)

``Inside 9/11'' (6 to 10 p.m. Monday, National Geographic Channel). The network's Emmy-nominated miniseries deconstructing the events of Sept. 11 has been updated to include facts from the Zacarias Moussaoui trial, the breakup of the CIA's bin Laden unit, the killing of al-Qaida lieutenant Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and other developments. (TVPG)

``9/11: The Day That Changed America'' (7 and 10 p.m. Monday, MSNBC). A Living History program, it includes interviews with then-Secretary of State Colin Powell, New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer and Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton regarding their recollections of that day and how they believe life has changed for Americans.

``Dateline'' (8 p.m. Monday, NBC). Jane Pauley updates her 2001 report, ``Flight 93,'' with new audiotapes and recent interviews with family members.

``Frontline: Faith and Doubt at Ground Zero'' (9 p.m. Monday, KCET). This special examines how Christians, Jews and people of other faiths sought answers from God or rejected their beliefs after the tragedy.

-- V.K.

Tips for parents

Reznick offers the following tips for how parents can help their kids:

Talk to your children and provide simple, accurate information to questions. Allow them to tell and draw their stories about what happened. Offer up your own feelings.

Try to validate the underlying feelings in their words and actions.

Reassure your child: ``We are together,'' or, ``We will take care of you.''

Be honest. Don't deny the seriousness of the situation.

Respond to repeated questions. You may need to repeat information and reassurances many times.

Hold your child, providing comfort. Touching is very important.

Spend extra time with your child. When putting him/her to bed, talk and offer assurance. Leave a night light on if necessary.

Provide play, art and journal-writing experiences to relieve tension.

Plan something practical that your child can do to help (help clean up or make sandwiches for others who are working or hungry.

Expect that resolving all of the feelings related to the disaster may take your child (and you) quite a while. It is normal for a child to bring up the crisis long after it has happened and when you least expect it.

CAPTION(S):

3 photos, 2 boxes

Photo:

(1 -- cover -- color) GLIMPSES OF TERROR

Deciding how much 9/11 coverage children should see

(2 -- color) Frightening images are pervasive in TV shows about the 2001 terrorist attacks.

Marty Lederhandler/Associated Press

(3 -- color) ``Inside the Twin Towers,'' 9 p.m. Saturday on Discovery, is considered inappropriate for viewers younger than 14.

Box:

(1) 9/11 TV programs, ratings (see text)

(2) Tips for parents (see text)