TO KOBE, OR NOT TO KOBE.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

Kobe in, Kobe out, or Kobe saying on his Web site and telling Stephen A. Smith that he's ready when he really isn't, we're not star-struck enough to predict these above-average role-playin' 3-0 Lakers have enough Jamba Juice to pull off a 50-plus win regular season, are we?

Yet?

Are you?

Considering how the first two wins played out, why wouldn't KB24 have given strong consideration to just sitting out the first 82 and limbering up for the playoffs?

This is Lamar's team anyway, right?

With this uptight ``zero tolerance'' policy in the NBA, who can argue with a mellower Carmelo Anthony that the outcome of the Clippers-Nuggets game was compromised after his ticky-tack ejection?

In the long run, will this really force Rasheed Wallace into any behavorial modification?

What took the typically short-sighted, no-beer-allowed Coliseum Commission so long to envision this arrival of the latest NFL snub?

And whatever could be a logical explanation for the fact the nearby Sports Arena hasn't been nuked by now to open up 11 more acres of RV parking for USC ``Cardinal and Gold'' members?

Who couldn't get used to the idea of Gary Matthews Jr. stealing homers near the center field roarin' rapids for the Angels next season?

Outside some Appalachian hookah lounge or the Ashley Judd estate, is there anyone in the state of Kentucky who doesn't support an undefeated L'ville football team pushing its way into the BCS title game against the Ohio State/ Michigan winner? And should the Cardinals drop one or two in the next few weeks, are those same jug-totin' supporters prepared to load up the coal-powered, wood-panneled suburban wagon and follow the boys to the Poinsettia Bowl?

Isn't a PGA Tour Championship without Tiger and Phil like a National Lacrosse League title match without the Portland LumberJax and Colorado Mammoth?

We understand the interest in Lance Armstrong running Sunday's New York City Marathon, but isn't there more intrigue as to whether celebrity chef Bobby Flay finishes without bustin' a Pop Tart?

Is it possible that you force yourself to refrain from letting us know how Emmitt Smith does in the semifinal round of ``Dancing With The Stars,'' since we're gonna TiVo it and then immediately delete it in hopes it finally all goes away?

We'll go on the record in favor of the ``lights out'' Lakers games at Staples Center, but what's the backup plan on how we're supposed to check out those of the opposite sex ``Kiss Cam'' candidates sauntering up and down the aisles on the other side of the court when, after all, they're the ones who insist on being seen?

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