THERE'S THE RUB: Wanna get your hands on George Clooney's neck?
Better get in line. Several actresses at Wednesday's ``Ocean's Twelve'' premiere happily volunteered to massage the actor's sore neck and back.
The actor reportedly ruptured a disc last month but is already feeling better, thanks to Lisa Snowden, his gorgeous girlfriend, British model and expert masseuse.
``I give him a very long massage anytime he wants, which has been quite frequently,'' the brunet babe admitted. ``I can tell he's feeling better because he's been acting crazy and has been fantastically funny the past few days.''
If Snowden tires, others are happy to lend a hand.
``My 'Desperate Housewives' character would love to land George,'' said sexy Eva Longoria. ``And she'd be very happy to do neck massages and a lot of things you can't write about in the newspaper.''
Other women wondered why Brad Pitt came without wife Jennifer Aniston. His solo carpet walk lent credence to tabloid theories that his marriage might be on the rocks.
``Well, if you can't get George Clooney, Brad Pitt wouldn't be too bad,'' said Longoria, with a wicked grin.
The ``Ocean's'' cast - Catherine Zeta-Jones, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Andy Garcia, Elliott Gould, Vincent Cassel, Carl Reiner, Bruce Willis and Eddie Izzard - weren't worried about Clooney's neck, Pitt's marriage or MIA Julia Roberts' new twins.
They were busy having fun at the formal black-tie party and musing about whether they'd make good real-life criminals.
``Getting this role in two films was like pulling off the perfect job,'' said Clooney. ``All of us realize we made out like thieves.''
But one actor is already trying his hand at real crime. ``I stole a lot of stuff from George Clooney's Italian villa when we were staying there to shoot the film,'' admitted Eddie Jemison.
Not so fast. Seems Clooney already knows.
``I know Jemison stole some stuff from my place, and I'm going to smack him around at the party tonight,'' said Clooney.
Snowden's neck rubs must be doing the trick.
CREATIVE COIF: The burning question of the night at the Creative Coalition Awards and Gift Gala Tuesday wasn't why people in Los Angeles can't drive in the rain - although that was a big topic of conversation as slightly damp attendees straggled in to the Luxe Hotel on Sunset - nor was it why funding for the arts has been cut dramatically.
Instead, everyone was buzzing about Seth Green's Mohawk, and asking, ``What the heck is up with that?''
``I didn't do it for a role,'' the diminutive redhead insisted. ``I've never had one before, and I just had to try it.'' The part that didn't compute was the conservative dark suit and tie that Green wore with it; that's just wrong.
Lots of more-traditionally coiffed Hollywood types braved the weather to shop for the cause and celebrate the life of Christopher Reeve, who helped found the Coalition, a nonpartisan advocacy group dedicated to protecting the First Amendment, arts advocacy and public education. Lending their support: Valerie Harper, Daniel Stern, Maura Tierney, Richard Schiff, Sharon Lawrence, Jeri Ryan, Hill Harper, Joe Mantegna, Gary Busey and Joe Pantoliano; and the night's honorees, Barry Levinson, Frank Oz, Lawrence Bender, Variety editor Peter Bart and publisher Charles Koones.
The hottest items being scooped up with ``coalition dollars'' were designer Charlie Lapson's incredible Italian leather handbags, the whimsically fabulous feathery reversible evening bags created by Sherie Giles of Split Pursenality, and the semi-precious and sterling jewelry imprinted with positive messages by Amy Peters Studio. And luckily, no one whose photo graces the popular 2004 Celebrity Mugshot Calendar turned up. Now that would have really created a buzz!
LIPPING OUT: Can Ashlee Simpson really sing?
That's what everyone wondered after she was caught lip-syncing on a recent ``Saturday Night Live.''
But Ashlee proved naysayers wrong Monday night. Wearing cute cropped plaid pants, a white schoolgirl blouse and a maroon vest, Simpson sang her heart out live at the El Rey Theatre.
She was in good spirits before the concert and was even able to laugh at the ``SNL'' incident.
Who gave her the best piece of advice following the incident? Her grandmother, or Nana as she calls her, who told her to maintain a positive attitude to overcome the negative attention she was receiving.
Big sis Jessica also helped her by saying that it could have happened to anyone (as apparently it is waaay more common than most people think) adding that it was just ``unfortunate'' Ashlee was caught on live television.
During her first set, Ashlee talked to the fans about her song ``Pieces of Me'' that she wrote about ex-beau Ryan Cabrera. Asked about her new squeeze, all she said was that she has known him a long time. But she did reveal that she and her mystery man will join Nick and Jessica for a tropical New Year's after a family Christmas.
STINKING RICH: It was a family affair at Paris Hilton's big fragrance launch last weekend. Dad Rick, mom Kathy and sister Nicky were there. So was writer Merle Ginsberg, the co-author of Paris' amusing autobiography, ``Confessions of an Heiress.''
So was Juliette Lewis, whose band, the Licks, performed, and we use the term loosely.
But no sign of all of Paris' famous friends, who seemed not to care at all that her perfume, called Paris Hilton, was being launched.
Oh, wait. Chad Michael Murray and Elisha Cuthbert stopped by.
But we heard that after the smelly launch, sister Nicky and a few other guests ended up at the Avalon in Hollywood.
Also there: ``Entourage'' hottie Kevin Connolly, Wilmer Valderrama, (flying solo, sans Lindsay Lohan) Danny Masterson, Ryan Gosling, Shannon Elizabeth and Milla Jovovich.
Apparently, the Avalon is a hot spot that has become the place to be on Friday nights. Unlike Paris Hilton's perfume launch party.
Sure smells funny to us.
We Saw U
``The Aviator'' babe Kelli Garner and ``Ray'' hottie Kerry Washington at the Frederic Fekkai Salon in Beverly Hills, indulging in festive holiday manicures and pedicures.
Parker Posey sipping a tall latte at Starbucks on Santa Monica in West Hollywood.
Kevin Spacey relaxing in the first-class cabin on Air France Flight 062 from Paris.
Getting nailed at Varnish, the hip new Melrose Boulevard nail salon: Brittany Murphy, having a full set of acrylics painted with Padre Island Pink. Also spotted: Kelly Hu getting a mani-pedi in Martha's Vineyard and Carla Gugino doing a mani-pedi in Chinatown Red.
Jennifer Garner shopping in the babystyle boutique on Montana in Santa Monica. But relax, Ben. She was just helping her sister pick out maternity clothes. But they sure spent a bundle (more than $1,000) on babystyle's signature jeans, sweaters, velour pants and hoodie set, double-stretch skirt and coat along with bunches of basics. Hmm. Wonder if they wear the same size?
(1) SNOWDEN, CLOONEY: Necking rights
(2) LEWIS: Playing with the Licks
(3) ASHLEE SIMPSON
(4) KELLI GARNER